Want to grow your business with more ease, less stress, and complete authenticity? Tune into my conversation with Melanie Childers!
We Talked About:
- Actionable strategies for balancing your calendar between business and personal
- Mindset tips to stop caring about rejection and self-doubt
- The "good girl" conditioning that holds entrepreneurs back
- When to listen to yourself vs a mentor
- Staying true to YOUR voice in your marketing
Links to Melanie Childers’ Stuff:
- Consensual Sales Masterclass - https://link.fgfunnels.com/widget/form/9ICQOB4ynPQOHkcUCtR7
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@themelaniechilders
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melaniedc
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melaniechilderscoaching/
Melanie Branch: Hello and welcome to another episode of Trailblazers Rising, where we are sharing stories of standout entrepreneurial women. And I have to tell you, I am fan grilling pretty hard. Not only because my next guest, her name is also my name, Melanie, but when I say. She is such a badass feminist that like, that's who I want to be when I grow up and step into my fully embodied shoes today.
I have every, I, I want everybody to put their hands together. Yay for Melanie. And, um, I will not even do any butchering of what it is she does. I'm just going to hand the floor over to her and say, welcome, Melanie. Please tell us a little bit about yourself and your business before we dive into all these fun questions.
Melanie Childers: Oh my gosh. First I have to say that I. Fan girl, recognize fan Girl, I've been watching you. I'm obsessed with your, with your TikTok. I just love how much help you give to those of us who are neuro spicy. I also have ADHD. Um, so thank you and thank you for having me. This is such a, such an honor, such a, such a fun thing to meet you.
Um, my name is Melanie Childers. I am a master certified coach and I work with feminist entrepreneurs to help them grow and scale their businesses. What without using like toxic dude bro tactics and with so much ease and fun and pleasure, like we just have such a blast. Business does not freaking have to be hard.
It gets to be whatever you make in it gets to be fun.
Melanie Branch: You are so, you're so right and I'm going to warn you ahead of time. Since I'm very excited to be talking to you, my dogs pick up on the energy and they're gonna come over probably five times and try and like get ex They've already brought a lizard in the house today once, so it's also, it's a wild, who knows what's gonna happen today.
It's a, it's a warm spring day here in northeast Florida. Here he comes right now, sir. Go. I'm doing Zi. Carruba. I got, I should bring a little piece of cheese or something over here so I can fight 'em off. Alright, so without further ado, we're going to dive in. Now I want you to please fill the beans on how you started your entrepreneurial journey.
We want all the juicy details. What was it that tipped you over the edge and said, Uhuh, I gotta do this on my own. I can't work for anybody else anymore.
Melanie Childers: Oh my God. Truth, truth bomb time. I was diagnosed with, with breast cancer at 34 and it completely dropped a whole bomb on my whole life. I had just finished a master's degree in adult education.
I was working for a Fortune 50 company in their, in their training department, and I was like, this is. The life that I planned and it is not the life that I want. And I had run a small company before. Um, I'm a knitter and so I dye yarn because I just really loved doing that. And so I'd run this small little company course,
Melanie Branch: the most
ADHD thing I've ever heard before.
And I dye yarn, you know, no big deal.
Melanie Childers: Just no big deal. Just, just made colorways that were super fun for me to knit. And then people wanted to buy them. And so I was like, okay. And it really just kind of. Paid for itself. And it was just something fun to do until it was, until it wasn't. I was like, okay, now I'm bored and now I'm exhausted.
And also now I have cancer, so I'm gonna close up Chop and uh, let me focus on my health and let me do other things. Um, But I came to coaching when, you know, a couple of years, two or three years after, after cancer. People tell people tell you like, oh, it's just, it's just gonna be a year of hell. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no.
This was five fucking years of hell. And I went through all the things that are major life changes. So I moved, I quit a toxic job, I got a divorce from my husband. I was like, all of these things happening. And I was like, you know what? I. I need some tools because I'm not dealing very well and I've done therapy, and therapy doesn't really fucking work for me.
It was li, it was nice for a minute to bitch about some stuff and to cry, but I need some actual tools that will help me. Have the life that I want. And so I found you are a badass. When that very first came out and I worked with Jen Centro back when she was doing small group programs on the phone, and I was like, uh, this, this, I want this.
I wanna do this for people. And that evolved over time. I got certified and I realized I really love working with feminists. 2016 happened. Lots of people were freaked out and traumatized. I know. Yeah. And I was like, this is not different from a cancer diagnosis. It is traumatic and y'all are experiencing some traumatic shit, and I know how to help you with that.
And so I was working with activists and then I was working with. Women running for office. Cuz I was like, okay, how do I help the people who are helping the most people? And so I helped a bunch of women get elected and then I was like, you know what? But running a campaign or running a business are not that different.
And I'm loving what I'm learning about running a business. And I think I would've worked with entrepreneurs. So. That's, that's, that's me. That's how I got here.
Melanie Branch: The entrepreneurial spirit, especially in high achieving neurodivergent women, is so inspiring and so incredible, and, You know, as well as anybody, as well as I do, I'm sure that the imposter syndrome that shows up in the self-doubt, that shows up in women that are so incredibly powerful, but they've been conditioned their entire lives for a multitude of reasons, to doubt themselves, not trust themselves and attribute all of their success to some sort of outside force or factor instead of their own inherent like worth and and ability.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And it is so frustrating. So you. Got diagnosed with breast can breast cancer blew your life up, changed it completely. Mm-hmm. And now you help other women that are ready to really take their life and their business by the reins and start making serious changes.
Absolutely. And you know, you're absolutely right with the, the imposter syndrome and the cultural conditioning that we've all had, that we don't wanna take up too much space.
But don't be a wallflower either. And don't be too loud, but don't be too soft and don't be a bitch, but don't be too nice. And it's like there, it's like there's this perfect box that we are supposed to fit in that society tells us we're supposed to fit in. And. Outside of that box is actually what creates success.
But we're all told, don't be too ambitious. Don't, don't brag about how much money you make or, or what you have or how well you're doing. And it's like hide and cover up and look perfect and make sure everybody's happy. And the truth is like building a business goes against. All of that conditioning and we have to do so much.
I know you're a mindset coach. I am too. We have to do so much mindset work to break ourselves out of that perfect little good girl box. And I'm using quotes around Good girl, cuz it's a bunch of bullshit, but. We have to do so much work to break out of that conditioning so that we can have a successful business that feels good to us, but we have to unfuck so much of that cultural thinking along the way that like being an entrepreneur and growing a business really is a personal growth journey as much as it is a journey to, you know, a certain amount of revenue or a certain amount of impact on the world.
Ooh, it is. I'm getting chill bumps as I'm talking about it because it's just so, there is so much mindset that we have to overcome when we are told
how to be. Yeah, and you know, I work, I talk to a lot of different coaches, whether they're confidence coaches, mindset coaches, business coaches, all that. I myself am an intuitive business mindset coach.
Right. So I, I. I understand the importance of having actionable steps that you can take to change your mindset, right? So there's a lot of life coaches that go out and get certified and they are under, they. Preach the education preaches in the right word, but they, they tout that you have to start with your beliefs cuz that's what's gonna drive your thoughts, which is gonna drive your, your opinions and gonna drive your actions and so on and so forth.
But you can't even get down into those, into the nitty gritty of changing your beliefs until you start eliminating certain words from your thought processes and from your sentences. So anybody that's ever worked with me one-on-one or in any of the group programs I've ever offered, I have a list of, no-no words.
That you literally have to replace or omit from your everyday language because they are designed to bring you to a negative space, right? We can e, our thoughts can either bring us positive, neutral, or negative, and that's, that's simply a fact, right? And if we know that our subconscious mind makes 90% of our decisions, All day, every day.
We're not even making the decisions half the time. Right. And then we'd add neuro spiciness on top of it, where half of us are just operating on autopilot and you're driving to the grocery store and you get there and you have no idea how you got there. Cause you don't remember driving there. Yep. So, you know, words like, and this one is what really kicked me in my.
You know what shame lives in should, right? So E, yes, I, if every time I'm at the Neuros Spicy Academy, of which I am the second in command and the success coach and I am on our virtual campus, which is just like Zoom and a video game put together, it's so fun and I'm talking to one of our members and they say the word, should they look right at me?
And they go, I would benefit from, because that's what we replace it with. So instead of saying, I should send 10 emails today, we say, I would benefit from sending those 10 emails today. Brilliant because, and you mentioned earlier that therapy hadn't really worked for you and traditional talk therapy.
Doesn't work for a lot of us neuro spics, cuz we've already figured out the why. Mm-hmm. That's not the problem. I've
Melanie Childers: already done, done the reason. No. Why help me do something different. Yeah.
Melanie Branch: Research is my special interest. Thank you very much. Exactly. I already, I already figured out why I'm here. I need you to gimme the tools to move it forward and your brain is always one step ahead of you and your brain is not going to dispense the go-go juice.
Mm-hmm. The dopamine, norepinephrine, and epinephrine to start and complete a task. If that task sounds like a drag. Yep. And so if you are shaming yourself and criticizing yourself into, I should do this, your brain's gonna go, huh? No thanks.
Melanie Childers: Nope. Absolutely not. Yeah. Every, anytime I look at my to-do list and it's like, well, here's what's on the to-do list, and I better get it done today.
My brain's like, yeah, no. I think a nap sounds better. Right? I'm like, wait, wait, what's happening right now? What's happening right now?
Melanie Branch: Right. So that's a good point. That brings me to my, to a next question. Balancing everything when you are an entrepreneur and a woman entrepreneur at that, right? Whether you have a life partner, whether you have a spouse, whether you have children, whether they're grown or little, whether you have what doesn't matter when you're an entrepreneur and you work from home, your life and business mesh.
Right. So your schedule, your calendar is going to be a mixture of client calls and getting to a doctor's appointment. You know, getting to the kids' swim meet, or making it to dinner with your partner that night, your spouse. So when it comes to not getting into that frame of mine of, oh, well I have 10 more minutes for, I have to do something, I should just make another Instagram story.
Right. How do you balance that constant need to be producing?
Melanie Childers: I will tell you that has been one of the biggest. Struggles for me as an entrepreneur because when I started my business, I was working full-time and I was working, I was a sales coach for another coach, and so like I, I was working three jobs, and so I created like an Excel spreadsheet for every day.
That had like a pie chart in it so that I could see like, where am I spending my time? And when I went full-time in my business, I really struggled with bringing the nine to five mentality into my business. It was like, okay, you make your to-do list, this is what you have to get done every day. And then I worked with, um, One of my mentors from many moons ago who had a program that was like, here's how to schedule your time and your projects and put things on your calendar and get shit done.
And what I found that that did for me was it created so much stress and so much pressure that I just felt. Like an absolute victim to my to-do list and my calendar every day. And I was like, okay, this fucking has to stop. This has to stop. I have to change something. So the way that I. Really balance my life.
And I will tell you that also the, the ADHD thing that I have is like at like 9, 8, 9, 10 o'clock. My brain's like, hi, let's do things. And so it's like, okay, we gotta manage that. So I have a notebook next to me at night. Every time my brain comes up with ideas, I'm like, okay, we're just gonna jot it down, we'll get to it later.
Um, so that I can be present with my husband. But I've also worked with my calendar so that I have specified days where all I do is work with clients. So I'm either coaching or I'm teaching, or I'm, um, Answering things for them in our Slack channel or in our Facebook group. And then I have specified days where I'm just doing creative things, so I'm getting work out of my brain.
I'm creating videos or I'm writing content, or like, those are like creation days and usually it's like Mondays or coaching days. And maybe some admin in the afternoon Tuesdays are writing, getting things out of my brain. So podcast episodes, reels, TikTok ideas, you know, um, The course that I'm working on, the book that I'm working on Wednesdays are one-on-one coaching days.
Thursdays. I'm taking what I worked on on Tuesday and actually recording those things, so I'm even separating out the creation and the recording of it because trying to do all of that at once just sends my brain into a total spiral. And then Fridays are like, catch up cleanup, admin, whatever is is vital only everything else gets rescheduled.
Melanie Branch: I love that. So I'm actually teaching a workshop this weekend called the Time Hackers Workshop, where I teach physio entrepreneurs how to actually, it's, it's a lifestyle. It's no longer about your calendar, it's no longer about your schedule. This is a full on lifestyle that I want people to Yeah.
Understand and adopt. And it's a play on low demand living, which is something that my, that I stumbled upon and my family and I started doing just intuitively. And then a fellow creator, Lisa Hicks, posted about it and I went, Wait a minute, there's a name for it. So I've taken it a few steps further as an intuitive, um, because I do believe that.
As a business owner and as a woman, we have to connect to our intuition. We have to connect to our spirit guides, we have to connect to our faith, whatever it is that drives you. Yeah. And, and, um, helps you understand that, you know, you came here for a purpose and to carry it out and not lose. You know, not lose your drive when you start to lose your focus a little bit.
Cuz again, ADHD, such a, uh, fun element to throw into the mix all the time. Right. Um, so how would you say. It since you're so good at managing your calendar and whatnot, and it, you got to that point pretty intuitively, it sounds, how would you say you have strengthened or developed your intuition to aid you in business?
Melanie Childers: Oh, wow. Um, that's such a great question and I, I completely agree that that is a, an area of, of focus that is so vital, especially for. Those of us who identify as women and those of us who are neuro spicy, um, for me it was really about like following my personal energy and it was like, okay, if I don't sleep, my energy's gonna be real screwed up tomorrow.
And if I don't have the right fuel, my energy's gonna be real screwed up. And if I am having a day where I'm choosing not to be on my meds, my energy I know is gonna be kind of all over the place. So it's like, how do I want to create. My day, that feels the way that I wanna feel. That helps me. Get things done if I want to get things done today and that helps me like have the energy that I wanna have, so I have snacks, I know that my, you know, my energy and my creativity and my ability to work is generally from like 11 to two or 11 to three, and like.
I also know that I'm gonna have a peak in the evenings. And so it's like the nights that my husband plays, like role playing games like once or twice a week. And so the nights that he does that, what? Yeah, I know. He's, he's, you both do, or he does. He does. He's really good at it. I used to, I help him with story and creativity stuff.
But What kind of roles does he play? Um, he runs a game that, like he and his folks, like they created it together. And so like, it's a storytelling game and they just, they just run it. And they love it. It's so fun for them. I love that. Yeah. It's like weird wild fantasy sci-fi. Yeah, just wild shit. It's so fun.
Yeah. So like I help him come up with ideas sometimes, but yeah, the nights that he's doing those, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna harness my, my energy that I have and do some, do some work, do some creative things, or I don't, I'll, I'll knit and watch something and, but yeah, I really think that it's about like, Using what you know to be true for yourself.
Yeah. First, where's my energy at? What fuels me? How do I wanna feel? And you know, coming back to like being connected with your purpose, I think it's very easy to lose that focus when you're like in a lot, when you're selling something, when you're actively focused on hitting a goal or hitting a revenue number.
And what I teach my clients to do is to. Yes, have that goal, but come back every day to why am I doing this? What is my deep desire? What is my deep purpose? To use that desire and to use that intentional focus to. Create fuel and dopamine for themselves. It's like fuel yourself with your own desire every day.
And that makes the selling and or the harder parts of business that aren't, aren't as fun. That makes them more rewarding because your brain's focused on the desire. Yeah.
Melanie Branch: Yeah. The switch from. Extrinsic motivation to intrinsic motivation is vital when you go from being an employee to being, you know, uh, an entrepreneur, a c e o, being in charge of what you're gonna do every day.
Right. So, yeah. You started your business when you were working full-time. I started my business when I was working full-time in a very busy restaurant, which shall not be named. Um, and really. The rejection sensitivity that we all face as neuro spics, right? And there's a, there's a science behind why rejection sensitivity dysphoria is at like a 99% comorbidity rate with ADHD.
And it has a lot to do with the fact that, you know, uh, a, a non diagnose ADHD kid, here's the word no, like 300,000 times by the time they're five as opposed to a non, uh, as opposed to an holistic. Normal kid that doesn't have the ADHD or autism. So of course we're naturally, you know, we came outta the womb learning we had to mask.
So when you are, because there's a lot of people that are listening that are in the beginning stages of entrepreneurship and just now realizing that the people that are in their life and are supposed to be the most supportive, are not super supportive, which leads to a lot of that rejection sensitivity.
How do you handle it when. It kind of because it blindsides us. Mm-hmm. The, the somebody not being receptive and supportive to your plans. Cuz I found that as a bigger. Issue as an entrepreneur than not getting the sale, which is not something that I had anticipated. It's like I feel more rejected by the people that I thought were gonna love me and support me the most than I do.
Like my clients have become more of my friends than my friends were before I started this whole thing. Yeah.
Melanie Childers: Oh my god. Same. Yeah. And I think, you know, I don't think that I had the rejection sensitivity about my family as much as I did about hearing no. In other places, but like I, in my twenties, I worked.
And, and went to, you know, lots of training to be an actor and I had an opportunity to go to LA and do some stuff, and I was so terrified of the rejection that I was like, yeah, no, I don't think this is the path for me. So like, like I left the whole thing. I was like, I don't want, I don't wanna be rejected.
I don't want, I can't emotionally hear no a hundred times a day and survive. So I was just like, wow, it's just a no for me. But, What I learned over time was that my family was very supportive. My, my husband, thankfully, is very supportive. Um, but they didn't, they couldn't see it the way that I could see it, and so I just, the way that I managed was that I, I didn't talk to them about it until it was I.
Until it was quote unquote a big deal, until they would see it as a big deal. And now they're like, oh my God, we're so proud of you. But of course at first they're like, are you sure you're doing the right thing? Should you really be quitting your job? What about taxes? What about health insurance? Cuz cancer survivor, what about, what about this?
What about that? And I was like, I got it. I got it all. Stop asking questions. Trust, I got this. I can do this. But what I really had to untangle for myself was my own self-esteem. From hearing a yes or a no? Yeah. I had to completely detach emotionally from the sale and emotionally from someone else's, my perception of someone else's rejection of me, which was a yeah, a no or, and I don't wanna work with you or, or what have you, or unsubscribes like that was a big thing.
Or like when people would comment and say, I disagree with you. I was like, what? Like that felt very triggering for me. So I probably spent two or three years doing my own self coaching and mindset work. Excuse me. To untangle m my response to that so that I was like, I'm, I'm still okay. I still love me. I still got me, I'm still a good person.
Even when I hear no, or people disagree or people flat out drag me on the internet or when the haters come, because guess what, they're gonna come. Yeah. And how you manage it and how you talk to yourself when that's happening is, is everything is what keeps
Melanie Branch: you in the game. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
I've, I've been making content a lot lately about. Self-care is not. It's so important to manifesting successfully, right? Because you have to manifest in steps. You're not gonna, typically, you're not gonna go from the apartment to the mansion. There's going to be steps in between. Yeah. So for example, what I tell people is, you know, I'm manifesting a full-on team.
I've recently taken on an executive assistant, which is very, very exciting. I have a business partner over at the Neuro Spacey Academy, and I am manifesting, you know, a, a hair and makeup team. I'm manifesting a driver. It may turn out to be my husband in a few years when he retires in the Navy. Who knows?
God knows that he's putting in the effort and he would love to just have that be his job, let me tell you. Um, but I figure. In order for me to get to a space where I can successfully manage, like in order for me to have that team, I'm going to have to treat my hair and makeup right now as if it's very important to me.
And it is. Luckily, I'm very lucky that my mom said when I was a little baby, if she wanted to do her face, she said it sent me on the floor in her bathroom, and I would just stare open mouth looking at her like, oh my God. And it's true. I've been wearing makeup since I can. Remember? Mm-hmm. But I have to take it seriously.
I have to take my skincare seriously. I have to take that morning and and nighttime routine seriously. Right. I have systems for making sure it's gonna work no matter my energy level. But the girl who has a team for her hair and makeup values the way that she looks and feels. Yeah. Right. So when it comes to manifesting.
Is there one particular manifestation analogy that makes the most sense or really made it. Click for you. Cuz I use the restaurant manifestation method of, you know, you have to do your portion of the work and then allow the universe to do their portion of the work. The same way you go to a restaurant, you order your food and then you trust that it's coming.
You don't sit there worrying and watching the cooks do it. Right? Right. So is there, you're not back on the line. Like you're not, they don't happen when you do that. They don't like it when you do that. I tru and I promise you, your server does not want you to go behind them at the pos while they're putting the order in.
And check and make sure that No, no, they don't like it. You have to have an element of trust. Right. So is there one way that manifestation really made sense to you?
Melanie Childers: Um, yeah. I mean, the way that it made sense to me was like, it's not like if you visualize it will come right? Like there's a part of us that wants to think like, oh, it's it's magic.
And if I just think it, I'll see it and then I'll see it and then I'll have it. And that's. That's an element, but I, the, the thing that really, really clicked for me was becoming the version of you that believes that you are worthy of it, that believes that what you want is possible for you. So I actually have a list of intentional thoughts that I choose to believe about myself.
Some people call them like affirmations, but I call them like intentional thoughts about. My next level and I go for a walk around my neighborhood and I've recorded them on my phone and I just press play and I listen to myself, tell myself about my next level, about who I am, about what is possible for me, about where I'm going, about the impact that I'm having.
Cuz I think in the, in the moment it's really easy to think about like just the next person. That's gonna hire you or the next 10 people for your launch. But when you take your brain intentionally to the place of like, I'm not just selling for 10 people. I'm, I'm creating something for 10,000 people. I'm creating something for a hundred thousand people.
That changes the way that you see yourself, that changes what becomes possible for you because of the way that you see yourself and what you're worthy of and what you're actually doing here. It requires, it asks your brain to think a little bit bigger, and when you do that and you see yourself bigger and you see yourself from this zoomed out perspective of what is possible for you, then those things are more likely to come because you're already lined up with That's happening for me.
Melanie Branch: Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. And while we're on the subject of self-care, I always like to ask people if I were, if I were to drop a, uh, reality show camera crew into your life for the past seven days, what sort of self-care
Melanie Childers: rituals would we see? Oh wow. Um, You would see me taking walks. You would see me getting on my Peloton even when I don't feel like it.
Even if it's just to move my legs, move my body. You would see me taking really good care of my face. You would see me. Going le honestly leaving my house in the middle of the day, in the middle of the quote unquote workday to go for a ride and get a whole new perspective. Um, I also go and take my dog for a walk in, like hike and a park, and I just go sit.
Yesterday my husband and I, like, we went and got a coffee and we just sat in. This beautiful field in the shade under the sun last yesterday, and we just laid back and watched the sky for about 10 or 15 minutes before I had to. Do something else, but it was like, I just need a, I just need a brain break. I just need a refresh.
Yeah. You would also see me knitting. That to me is self-care. It's just a creative expression that has nothing to do with my business, but that gives my, my my ADHD in my hands something to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm preparing like really good, really good fuel for myself. I don't eat a lot of junk food because it just doesn't make my body feel good.
Melanie Branch: Yeah. You know how there's, uh, a big movement in the health and wellness space and the workout space, whatever you want to call it, of the 80 20, right? So eat clean 80% of the time and then 20% of the time do what you want. I operate under the fuel long-term dopamine, like extended release dopamine and fuel, short-term in instant release, dopamine, right?
So we know that we're going to have better, longer lasting. Dopamine when we eat a high protein diet. Yep. But we also know if you need a little, pick me up, two Oreos packs a punch of dopamine. We know it's not long lasting. Yeah. But we know it's going pick you up and make you go real quick, hard and fast for a a portion of time.
Right. And when you talk about moving your body, what I want people to know is that they're doing research now that suggests, and this is so exciting, they're doing research now that suggests. Running for a minute to two minutes and then walking, and then running for a minute to two minutes is a better workout.
You're talking a 10, 20 minute workout than running for 30 plus minutes because your cortisol levels don't stay heightened. Right? So we know, um, When you're running, your brain is going, oh my God. Say we're two tigers. Get to safety. What are we doing? Because, you know, it's not in the status quo to be running.
So instead of keeping yourself in this high fear response state for any length of time, you can just run really fast. And then your brain body goes, all right, Reya ran the tiger. Everything is safe again. And then you do it again later. Because first and foremost, I don't have a lot of time to be exercising for a long period of time, and I don't have, it's not, it doesn't make my energy last longer.
All day. It's gonna make me get real, real tired. And I've also discovered that I'm a middle of the day worker outer mover around her because, and everybody that goes to the Neuros Spicy Academy knows this between three and 6:00 PM my brain. Is not gonna do any work. I could sit here at the computer all I want and it's not gonna do any work.
And physically, I can't even sit during those hours. Most of the time it's either I have to go lay down and be horizontal. Mm-hmm. Or I, I'm gonna be jumping on my trampoline, I'm gonna be taking my, you know, whats for a, you know what, they're around so I can't say, um, Or, you know, my kids. And it could naturally be an adaptation to the fact that my children are now teenagers.
And that's usually been the time that you gotta pick 'em up from school, take 'em to a practice, do all that sort of stuff. So it, it's helpful that that happens, but you have to adjust your calendar and your schedule for that physical movement and what your body needs. Cuz we've been suppressing our stems for a very, very, very long time.
Melanie Childers: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I experience the same thing. It's like from like three to six or seven. Like my brain's just done. Yeah. My brain's done and I need something else. So I usually ride in the morning because that gives me some energy in the morning. Yeah. Cuz I, my brain don't wake up till 10 or 11 either. So it's like I'd get a little bit of energy, have some coffee, and then the afternoon it's like, okay, let's go for a walk.
Let's, you know, maybe, maybe we're lifting weights or maybe we're just not doing anything at all. Just watching
Melanie Branch: Netflix. Yeah. Yeah, that's absolutely helpful as well. I, I love a good, oh, new selling. Sunset is coming out in May. I just saw it on Heather. Uh, what's her name's? Uh, Instagram while I was scrolling this morning.
Very, very exciting. Very exciting. I love that. I, I like to use, Um, shows to help me manifest, right? So I'm a firm believer, yes. That we have, um, we have emotional support shows, right? Mm-hmm. And we also have these shows that are going to inspire the lifestyle that it is that you're, you're hoping to attain, right?
And it's not that like I watch succession. Do I want to ever be at the, a level of richness that I own my own private jet? No. Absolutely not. But do I wanna be able to fly private? Yes. Yes, I do. I, yes I do. So, you know, and I don't know about you. I'm almost 37. I'll be 37 this month. I was 16 when, uh, fast and Furious came out, and I had a Mustang convertible, God bless my heart, for not dying in that thing, that little death trap that it was.
And when I, when me and my friends left that movie theater, baby, we were race car drivers. We were, we might as well be wearing the wife beater and those little hats and just total baddies. So I figure that part of me hasn't changed, so let's adapt my lifestyle to it. So selling sunset is one of my favorite.
Manifestation shows because that is a lifestyle.
Melanie Childers: I love that. And I, I, I'm the same way. Like, I like to, I like to peek in on people who have more than me just to see, like, how do they think about themselves? How do they think about the world? What's, what's different? How do they treat themselves? What are their, what are their thoughts?
What are their expectations? How do they feel? How do they move? Because like, I grew up broke ass poor on like food stamps and Alabama, y'all, so. Like I didn't grow up with, with a lot of money. And you know, my dad was a, he was a ADHD entrepreneur also to the exclusion of his family, basically. And, you know, he, he died working till his very, until like we had to pull him off the desk.
We were like, look man, you have cancer and it's time for hospice. You gotta get, you gotta go lay down. But like, I don't know where I was going with that, but whatever. Adhd, like you don't, it doesn't have to be that way and it doesn't have to. You can manage. Your experience and your symptoms. Like it doesn't have to have to be this like death march, right?
Yeah. Like you get to, you get to have fun and you get to take breaks and you get to enjoy. And like I think seeing how other people live and how other people experience the things that you want is so incredibly useful to like get in your body. Yeah. The feeling of. You know, if you wanna be wealthy, the feeling of wealth, like one of my favorite things to do is to stay one night at a super high end place.
Yeah. That I would never spend a whole week, but I could. Yeah. But just to be around. That, that vibe and that feeling and what, what's what you're experiencing there, that high five star level of service because your, yeah. Your brain gets to see like, oh, this is a very different life and Oh, this is possible for me.
Melanie Branch: Yeah. You know, they say don't take directions from somebody who's never been where you're going. So, of course let's, let's, let's lend, interact with people that know where we're going and can help guide us there, right? Like, I don't wanna be the biggest fish and pond. I don't wanna be the smartest person in the room.
Yeah. Because then I'm not gonna be growing and I'm not gonna be learning, and I'm not going to be able to take notes on what's the appropriate risks to take. Right? Mm-hmm. When is it time to bet on yourself? When is it time to bet on someone else? And you know, when can we feel like we can trust our gut?
Right? So what is the biggest risk that you've taken in your business and was it worth it? Ooh.
Melanie Childers: Um, God, that's such a great question. Might have to think for a second. I, I think that's okay. I feel like the biggest risk that I took was probably hiring a super high end coach and sticking with her for.
Several years that was a lot more than my business could really afford at the time. Um, it was, it was worth it. I would say it's 50 50. Okay. It was worth it. I'm glad that I did it because I learned a lot and I worked through a lot of stuff that it would've taken me a lot longer to do. Um, there I probably though the, the regrets that I have would be like making some decisions that.
I, I didn't listen to myself. Yeah. I believed that, that that person knew better than me and there were some things that she did know better than me, and there were some things that I really wish that I had listened to myself, but I take, I take ownership of that. I take responsibility for that. Ultimately, at the end of the day, I made those decisions and.
Yeah, that was, that was a big risk and it didn't always work out the way that I thought it would. You know, I, yeah, I ran a business model that ultimately kept me from, from earning as much as I could have, and I didn't learn the things that I could have learned that would've helped my business actually go faster.
Because she wasn't teaching those things. And yeah, she had positioned herself as this is all you need. And that wasn't true, but I chose to believe it and I chose not to, to look outside for other things that might help me get where I wanted to go. I was like, no, nope. This is the only thing that I need.
And you know, I take full responsibility for that. I, I needed to do the work, but I didn't know what I didn't know, so, yeah. Yeah,
Melanie Branch: absolutely. I get that. I get that. All of my clients that I work with have I, I would say it's 90% of my clients have worked with coaches in the past and have gotten burned by those coaches, right?
Mm-hmm. People that, and because. Traditionally speaking, they're working with neurotypical co coaches who have this sort of Yep. One size fits all methodology. And they don't really do more support on the backend, behind the scenes when it's not just, you know, your weekly or your biweekly calls. Right. And mm-hmm.
In my experience, we. Benefit tremendously from showcasing all aspects of ourself. And I know there's a big movement on social media about multi potential lights and not kneeing down and that sort of thing. And in my experience and belief as an intuitive energy healer with psychic abilities and the knowledge and experience in all things neuro divergent and accommodating neuro divergence, you know, really the only way that you can flex your superpowers.
And use your superpowers is when you have tapped into your intuition. You do really trust and believe yourself and the things that are guiding you, and you're taking care of yourself, and you have somebody in your corner who is helping you become the best you and is not helping you become another version of them.
Melanie Childers: Oh, a fucking man. Amen. There. There was so much that I. There were so many ways that I sort of left my own self at the door and took on more of. What her version of success looked like. And, and I did this with other, with, with other mentors. It wasn't, certainly wasn't just her, but it, I think it's very, very easy to fall into the trap of that's what success is supposed to look like.
And I need to park any part of myself that doesn't look like that and model myself after this person. And in my experience, that leaves so much of your own. Your own superpowers. Yeah. Out of the equation and every single time that I sounded like. Or did things their way, I sounded like them and it was freaking crickets for my audience.
Yeah. They were like, who's this? Yeah. They can
Melanie Branch: always tell They wanted, yeah. They can
Melanie Childers: always tell when the vibe is off. They wanted me and my flavor and my take, not me edited through the lens of these other people. And so yeah, for everybody listening, like, look for, how have I accidentally. Molded myself after someone else.
And how can I bring more of my true, authentic self to, to my copy, to my marketing, to the way that I structure my business? Whose rules am I accidentally following? And yeah, what do I wanna break? Because, They're not always gonna work for you, especially with people who teach like one size fits all and they're, they're not neuro spicy.
They're, they don't get it. Yeah,
Melanie Branch: absolutely. They don't get it. It's
Melanie Childers: really, it's really easy to be in those containers and feel like you don't belong and feel a lot of shame because you are struggling because they haven't adapted for you. And of course they have. They don't, they don't even know. And I didn't know either until I was diagnosed and I was like, oh, oh, these are all the ways that I've adapted for myself and I need to be cognizant of this for myself and for my clients.
Melanie Branch: Absolutely. So share your most recent win or. Whatever is standing out to you. Um, so that we can leave everybody with inspiration.
Melanie Childers: Oh gosh. Um, I just launched a course for the very first time and thought that I might sell 10 or 20 spots. I sold 50. Ooh. Ooh. That is freaking amazing. It's changing the whole way that I see myself.
I was like, oh, I'm gonna stop thinking of myself as like, Small potatoes over here. I'm actually a really big deal. Um, yeah, so that was big deal. Really, really fun kinda deal. Kinda big deal. Okay. Yeah. Um, but, but it was, it was so much easier than I thought it was gonna be, but it's because I put in the work to give a lot of value and a lot of help.
Ahead of time to a lot of people ahead of time. And that was, that was the game changer. Absolutely. That's
Melanie Branch: incredible. Yay, fun. So before, before we hit the lightning round of the fun bonus questions, uh, this is your opportunity and time to plug your motherfucking spot and tell everybody listening how they can find out more about you.
Of course, all of your information will be linked, um, to this video as well, and, um, how they can work with you and find you and all that sort of stuff.
Melanie Childers: Oh, awesome. I am @melaniechilders.com and everything that you need to know is on that first page, but I also have a free Facebook group called Bad Bitch Entrepreneurs that you can join.
I show up there all the time. I go live. We have lots of fun in that group. It is growing into a, a big group and. I run The Bad Bitch Mastermind for feminist entrepreneurs who wanna grow and scale their businesses. And I also host The Bad Bitch Entrepreneur podcast where you will hear lots of fun and lots of lessons, and lots of hot takes and lots of learning and teaching if you want help growing your business.
Um, I'm also on TikTok at the Melanie Shoulders, where Melanie Branch and I met.
Melanie Branch: I love TikTok. Everybody knows that's my favorite. In fact, I love it. Um, I didn't really, I literally, I just grew my business on social media. I woke up one day after all this craziness had gone down in my life and I said, mindset work has been so incredibly beneficial to me and my life, so let's start coaching other people about it.
And, um, I, I, I met with two different coaches and one of them said, I'll teach you how to grow on Facebook. And I said, I don't want that. And the I, the other one I met said, I'll teach you to grow on YouTube. And I said, I don't want that. I want to go on TikTok. And they both told me, you can't grow a business on TikTok.
And I said, oh, oh l watch me now. Mind you guess who's trying to grow businesses on TikTok? Right, both those people. And now I've grown two accounts cuz my first account got banned at 45,000 followers. Uh, and now I've grown the second one up to over 200,000 followers. And it's like, if you want to grow your business without sitting on a pile of money ahead of time, you absolutely can do it.
Yep. A hundred percent. You absolutely can do it. You know, fi you can be scrumpy and scrappy and just follow a bunch of people and get all of their free stuff possible. I still download. Every slightly interesting freebie that I see on Instagram when I'm scrolling Instagram just to see what other people are doing, um, same, see what sort of value I'm gonna get from it, all that sort of stuff.
I mean, you absolutely can, it's more time consuming. But again, people either want more time, money, or energy, or they wanna save, they wanna make more time, money, or energy or save time, money or energy. Yep. So that is the real secret to success. Okay, so now that we know where to find you, we're going to do our, our lightning round of fun questions.
It's five questions that are neuro divergently driven, and we'll help everybody, um, not feel alone in this big, crazy world, uh, that we are navigating as neuro pics. First and foremost, what's your favorite social media platform?
Melanie Childers: Ooh, TikTok.
Melanie Branch: Nobody has had a different answer than that. I want you to know.
All right, uh, number two. This is a good one. What's the most recent rabbit hole you've gone down?
Melanie Childers: Oh, holy shit. Um, what is the most recent rabbit hole? Ham handbags. I don't know why. I'm completely obsessed. I have one. And now I want all the colors and all the styles.
Melanie Branch: What is it about them that's so intriguing?
Melanie Childers: The leather is just so soft. I don't know. They're, and they're not like hyper expensive. They're probably more than I would normally spend for just a, like, target handbag, but they're not like two grand. So they're like, you know, three, four, $500. And I'm like, okay, I can do that. I could buy like three or four of those.
That sounds fun. What
Melanie Branch: color you got? I love it. Who's got the color? What are my options here? What are my options? Yeah, good. Um, what is your emotional support show?
Melanie Childers: Ooh. Um. Oh, like a TV show. I was thinking like a podcast,
Melanie Branch: TV show, movie, anything like that. Whatever you turn on, when you can't take on anything new.
True crime. Really
Melanie Childers: true crime. I don't know why I'm, and I, I'm always in like a rabbit hole of like human behavior and that to me is like, The ultimate, like what the, what the fuck is happening in your brain that that is an okay way to treat people? I'm fascinated by human behavior. And so it's like true crime is makes total sense.
Yeah. Okay. We like that. Um, and it's also not happening to me like, It could be
Melanie Branch: worse, things could be worse, could worse. Let's put everything in perspective. Excellent. My husband doesn't wanna kill me. Great news. Wonderful. Um, alright. What are, okay? Have you consumed any water today? And would you like to share your emotional support cup?
Melanie Childers: It's literally right here. It's hot pink. It's my bad Bitch Mastermind branded cup that I sent to all of my clients. And yes, I, uh, I had a little too much to drink last night, so I had my, my noon. Electrolytes and my big glass, big cup of water this morning. Bing,
Melanie Branch: bang, boom. Awesome. All awesome. And the last question, what is your current dopamine snack?
Melanie Childers: Oh, um, I really love, there's a brand called Wonderful, I think wonderful pistachios, and they do like, Flavors of pistachios. Ooh. And they're, I think they're like salt and vinegar. Yeah. Oh, they're so good. And I'm like, one handful. And I'm like, I have enough energy and it's a hit. And it's like this, the saltiness is like, I.
Does something for my brain that it's just like one handful and I'm good for like the next two hours. I'm, it's awesome. Yeah. We love that. Coffee
Melanie Branch: also helps. Yeah. I'm not a big coffee person anymore, but I do heavily fuck with green tea and diet Dr. Pepper. Not together. But yes. Uh, those are my, those are my main sources of caffeine.
Melanie Childers: Dr. Pepper zero is my, ugh. She's my bestie.
Melanie Branch: Yeah. We love, it's, oh, Melanie, I wanna thank you so much for being here. I know, um, my listeners have learned so much and I will continue fangirling about this for the rest of my day. Same,
Melanie Childers: same. Thank you so much. This has been an absolute pleasure and I'm.
Just, it's so nice to be in your world. You're awesome. Ah, thank you for having me.
Melanie Branch: Thank you so much. You're so welcome. All right. We will talk very soon.