Episode #008 — Navigating Holistic Marketing with Abigail Schippers

Hello and welcome to another episode of Trailblazers Rising. I'm very excited in trying to contain myself today because I have my good friend who I've been stalking on the interwebs for what, would you say about a year now? I don't know, time is not real. And it's Abigail Schippers! Everybody say yay! Yay! you this one's gonna be, uh, it's gonna be all over the place. Buckle in everybody. So Abigail, say hi to everyone. Alright, are you ready to dive into some crazy questions for all of us neurodivergent and neuro-spicy entrepreneurs? And we may even get into the difference between neurodivergent and neuro-spicy, which is simply, we use neuro-spicy because it's a neurodivergent person having fun. That's, that's how it's categorized in my brain. Alright, so, I like it. Abigail, when I first saw you on TikTok or Instagram, I don't remember which one it was, my spirit guides were very clear about you, and they said, Her and I said, okay, this is what they do to me. They say them right? So I scroll and my spirit guides like point and say them and I go, okay When and they go i'm not gonna tell you that I say, okay how they got i'm not gonna tell you that I said, okay, cool. So just strap in start talking to people. Excellent. Um, so As we've been communicating and I've been learning about your digital nomad lifestyle, which I am envious of as a married woman with, with teenage children, your freedom to travel is, is, is makes me envious. So what was it that sparked your entrepreneurial journey? What sparked that fire in you and tell, don't spare any details. We want to know everything. Yay. Oh, what a fun question to start with. Um, I love podcasts. It's like just a good excuse. Like tell really fun stories. Like so fun. Um, okay. So. It's kind of like two pieces to my entrepreneurial journey. Um. Because, and I'll start, so in high school, I was a terrible student, I rarely showed up to class, I was obnoxious if I was there either. I think that's pretty relatable. Crazy. Um, so, when I was in high school, I knew, I knew very young that I was neurodivergent. And so, by the time I was in high school, I was like, yeah, I cannot live this way. I cannot go to class this many hours a day. And I happen to inherit a small, um, a dog kenneling company. So my brother, older than me, had built this dog kennels in our, in our barn. We lived in the country, we were little bumpkins. And he went off to college, and I got to run this business. And so I had this very unique experience of making minimum wage at my job, and then coming home and making 100, 200 a night kenneling dogs. And I was like, this is terrible. Like I'm working so much work hard for all like, like clearly owning a business is the way to go. So from, I mean, I was broken from that point on, like there was no way I was ever going to have a real job. Um, and I stand by that. I can make so much more money, so much more easily. And, you know, in alignment with my truth from business. Anyways, so fast forward into my twenties. I've like kind of dicked around with college a little bit, um, got my associate's degree, did a job here, a job there, you know, I'm like kind of run around trying things and like not loving anything, end up teaching yoga full time. And I love it. I'm like, this is it. I get to tell people how to fix their pose. I get to be inspiring. I get to make people happy. I'm like, done. I'm spoken. I'm in. I'm teaching at the best studio in the city. Like, literally rated number one, blah, blah, blah. Um, and I'm like, living the dream. Like, how many people's dream is it to be a full time interviewer? I'm joking. So many. No And that didn't last very long because yoga teachers don't make any money. Like I was, I was like respected in my community. I'm using like air quotes, um, and like good and recognized and like good at what I did, whatever, using your body! You know, you can only walk around the classroom checking people's forms so much before people are like, this bitch isn't teaching me anything. She's not doing anything. I can just do this at home. Yeah. Yeah. It's very physically intensive job too. So it's like, it just wasn't, it wasn't working that well. So. Um, what I did is I was just like trying to earn extra money any way you could. So I'm offered to help with different jobs around the studio, the yoga studio. And that quickly led me into like this digital marketing space and, uh, turns out I had a knack for it. So then the owners of the studio tell their friends who own an acupuncture clinic, and I'm. Soon enough, I'm over there doing their digital marketing and da, da, da. And so I do this for like, uh, maybe a year where I like have my hands in a bunch of local wellness businesses in their marketing and I'm teaching yoga. But what happened was the wellness community in my city was so scared of marketing and had been so burned. So many times that people are just not respecting their craft or understanding that it has to be different than like Target's marketing or like fucking all you fucking want. Oh, sorry. Can we swear on this? Okay. Great. Cool. I figured. But yeah, anyways. Um, so I do this for a while and I don't think anybody expected me to be as successful as I was because it's starting to get in the way of teaching yoga. And then the owners were like, Oh, we actually have a problem with this. What a nice way to say I got let go. Yeah, yeah. The actual reality of that was way, way more dramatic. Oh my God. Um, but anyways, then I was like, Oh, I guess I have a business that I didn't really mean to start and now it has to support me. So I got serious about it. And really like the fuel of this whole thing, because during that season of life, when I was teaching and doing this, I was like learning, teaching myself how to do marketing at night. And I would frequently work until like midnight, just trying to figure shit out. Yeah. I was just fueled by like this fury that people in wellness, people that are trying to help people heal and be happy and whole and healthy just get paid like shit. Absolute shit. Like, and that anger drove me. Right up until I burned out a few years later, like it really built the entire first leg of the business. I was just mad. I want people to have when it comes to digital marketing, I'll tell you that is, uh, uh, its own beast in and of itself and everything that it covers and everything that it includes and what I have been most surprised about on my entrepreneurial journey as a, you know, neurodivergent business coach who is also a psychic. Intuitive, who is also an energy healer, so I'm very involved in the wellness space, the witchy space, the neurodivergent space, right? I didn't realize all the different forms of digital marketing that one must do to be successful in business. So like, I love social media marketing. Check me out on TikTok if you haven't already. That's probably how you found this here podcast. Um, I love social media. Social media makes sense to me. I love building a community. I understand copywriting, but natural it is not for me. So I, I like to, uh, work with ChatGPT or work with my, my partner over at the neuro-spicy Academy, Christina, who is a fucking genius when it comes to, like, she creates the kind of copy that makes you go. Hold on, I gotta get that down. Slow down, slow down. Hold on, hold on. Um, so, in the digital marketing space, what is your favorite? Oh, Oh my God, that's such a good question. Um, honestly, I'm going to, I'm going to go like super micro here. My is that? is Instagram stories. Um, I have, I love the temporary nature of it, which I know like that bothers some people, but to me it feels like a playground of experimentation and connection, and it's such an interesting, like. Private door into my, my life, right? Because like I, whatever's happening in my life, whatever. And they can DM me directly and have a connection like that. Where else can that happen on the internet with such fluid connection? Um, while we have the freedom of, it's not going to last. Oh, can last if we want it doesn't have to. Like, Oh, I just think that's so cool. I've made not Instagram in our DMs? Oh, you know, I do, you know, I do. Okay. So right now I have a, a couple of clients in this, but one in particular that I'm thinking of where we're really, they're very specific business brand. Okay. And they don't have like a spokesperson or like, you know, you're the face of your business, Melanie. This is not, not that. So they're trying to personalize a brand. Well, I'm personalizing it for them without, without, without without that, which is a huge barrier of entry. Um, and what we're using, so this is like, Please, people, put your face on your social media if you're in person. Oh my god, please. You're gonna make so much more money. But, whether or not you do that, on your Instagram stories, how you can get people to start interacting with you is to start using more of the features that Instagram stories provide for that. Like the polls, the questions, um, the, like, there's that little, like, sliding scale that you can ask people. Like, any of that stuff. It, like, sounds like... Like, honestly, like not, um, creative enough, like I should have something spicier in my back pocket. And sure, like there's right ways to do it and strategy and blah, blah, blah. But if you just start using ways for people to interact with you and start actually talking to your audience and asking them questions, that engagement goes right up and people start connecting with you. Like you're a real Yeah, which, you know, on TikTok, they don't really realize you're real. So, excuse me, Love a good instagram story and as a 37 year old millennial woman If one more person tells me not to use the fucking boomerang feature i'm gonna be like then why did they leave it there? Also, this is something we were talking about This is the neuro spicy academy in one of our rebel round tables I think it was last week and I was teaching people about instagram instagram stories funny enough. We should talk about it now um And so we all made an Instagram story together and like tagged each other and all of that sort of stuff, right? And I, this is my one caveat to the millennial use of social media. Stop tilting your con your con your, your text. Stop tilting your fucking text! Text is, 90 degree, text is just, stop tilting it. It's so amateur. It's Yes. awful. It is so, I, you're gonna be my first client! Like, it's so amateur. It's like not a good user experience at all to like, try to read text on a, like, and you just why, why? No, no, it doesn't make any sense Using Instagram stories. So and I'm sure you are this exact same way. I don't use social media for my personal life anymore I am literally the amount of time that I spend Scrolling because I have that baked into my calendar because it's important for my business and I fucking love it Like the amount of time I spend Instagram LinkedIn posting over there doing all that. I'm branching out into YouTube I don't want to look at it again I don't, I don't care what anybody else is doing on, if you, if you're important in my life, call me up and tell me what's going on, or text me and tell me what's going on. I'm not going to find out from Instagram. I, I deleted Facebook from my phone a couple months ago when everything was happening with the, the, Whatchamacallit, TikTok, potential TikTok ban. I was like, fuck this. And I just don't like it over there. So now, of course, the barrier to entrance, trying to get back on Facebook, they're like, is this your account? I'm like, no, that, I have like four Facebook accounts that I didn't even know about. Oopsie daisy. Um, so when you get to interact with people in your stories, cause you do a great job of this, you do a fantastic job of like behind the scenes, inspirational, hilarious, engaging, and interactive. So it's really like, They know they've already built that bond with you and you guys maybe have not even had a conversation. Yeah, um. Um, I really talk, there's like a couple of things that like my mind is just like spinning and I'm like, Oh my God, they need to know this. Okay. So I'm just going to wrap it up. Um, so there are, yeah, like certain topics. Um, I have what I call anchor stories where I'm repeatedly sharing similar content so that my audience knows what to expect from me. And that actually makes them more likely to go seek it out. Um, this is specific to Instagram stories. It's a little different, obviously other places. But like my anchor stories are things that I post that are already a part of my life that I know Represent what my ideal client wants from me, right? Like so a classic something that's on my stories constantly is like me going out to eat And having like beautiful meals and like moments with my friends And I share it one because like oh my god, I love it. I love it But I know I know that it's like a lot of my audience That's their goal too. They want to have the money for it. They want to have the time for it. So I'm sharing and I'm showing my life very naturally, but I'm also saying to these people like, Hey, I have what you want and I can help you get there. If, if you aren't right, there's no weird pressure. Okay. So that is something I'm super passionate about. Everyone should have anchor stories, two to three things that you consistently post about. So, so much alleviation of brain ADHD moment, buffering, second thing I was going to buffering, buffering it left. If it's, it'll come back. Well, cause our next topic that I want to get into with you because we've talked about this at length and you briefly mentioned it is we know that running a business can be super stressful and that. You and I working with entrepreneurs see burnout every single day, every single day. So what are your favorite like self care practices to stop that cycle of burnout? Oh my God. Yeah. We have talked about this and I, I won't go through the whole list because that would, that would be like several hours. Um, but that's a good Is that like the level of self care I have in my life is. Yeah. I mean, I think I listed it out once for you and it's like several pages of like specific things that I do, um, to make life work, but okay, so like things, this is perfect timing. This is such a perfect timing because two weeks ago, I ran out of my ADHD medication. And I cannot get more. Um, I'm in Mexico City right now. And Mexico laws, their, their medical system is very different than the United States. I'm just assuming most people listening are from the United States. Um, but in the United States, you know, you go to a doctor, you get a prescription, you go to the pharmacist, right? In Mexico, that process varies a lot state by state. And in the particular state that I'm in right now. I can't just go get ADHD medication from a doctor or a pharmacy. So, and like, this is travel, right? This is life. Um, but so I have been, I'm like, okay, that route's not going to work. I'm going to like lean into my alternative. So I'm doing Ryan's Man right now. I'm doing, um, Do you take yours at night or in the morning? people do not talk about. I just switched to morning again, just recently. Um, magnesium. And then I have like a list of like other things I'm going to buy. Before I leave Mexico City, So I take lion's mane, thank you, taking is like for performance and, um, reishi. Mushrooms, and those are literally, I take them in the morning, along with my diet Dr. Pepper, and I say, I'll get moving when this shit kicks in, and it kicks in, I say, let's get moving. When I it comes to your Thank you. I knew, I knew you make sure that they, when it comes to mushrooms, you want the bottle to say, made from flowering only. So it's got to be from the flowering part of the plant. If it doesn't say that, like, all mushrooms, the blend you can get, that's trash. They don't use the flower. It's just, they might as well be throwing dirt in there. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. Um, and you also want to translate this bottle and third party tested, because that means, you know, your, most of the stuff that you're going to see in the store is not third party tested. So you want to look for that. do you have like specific brands that you are like, these I will send you the link for the ones that I'm currently using because I really do like them and I haven't put them on my supplements list yet. Um, but I'll send you my Amazon affiliate link so I get a cut of it. Um, yeah, yeah. Nice. Do you guys you want to look for like the third party testing. Um, and you want to, if you're looking on Amazon, you want to really like read what the bottles say. You really want to read it. You don't because like there's the Amazon brand blue raspberry Gummies that are what's the stuff for your tummy? That's really good to make you go poop poop probiotics I don't know why that was so hard probiotics. There's they have this Amazon brand blue raspberry gummy probiotic That is so good and works so well that I have to like write down when I take them so I don't take too many Well, as a girl, I have the problem where if I don't take something, then I don't use the bathroom. Like, I just literally don't, like, I, it's part of my, uh, hypermobility Ehlers Danlos. I'm finding out the The muscles just don't work properly. So like, unless I'm doing something to get those digestive muscles going, they're just going to be like, nevermind, we're not going to do anything. And then if you have like stress on top of it and you're not in your, in your parasympathetic, you know, digestion is not number one on my body's list of things to do. I have to make it number one on my body's list of things to do. Um, so I'm very diligent about taking all of my supplements. Um, even something like your fish oil. That's higher in EPA than DHA for an ADHD brain. Fish oil will help you stay regular and it will help feed your brain and it will help your skin. Nice. Nice. I am a big fan of fish oil. I didn't know if it was good for ADHD, but I found that, uh, I'm a little depression prone, so I, if I don't intentionally lift that Yeah. Fish oil is really, it packs a punch and most people don't think about it, but you aren't going to see like an instant result from fish oil. You know, you got to take it for a couple of days, a couple of weeks, and then all of a sudden you're just gonna be like, actually. Feel pretty great. Like I'm not relying on caffeine and I'm not super irritable and like I actually just I feel really just Functional, you know, cuz you know our baseline our baselines are low man Yeah! Can I tell you this story about... Like, okay. So in my early twenties, I was very diehard, pure organic. I was raw vegan. I was like, you know, no supplements, get your nutrients from food, which is like, obviously insane because our food doesn't have any nutrients anymore. Whatever, you know, 10 years ago, we live and learn. Um, and. Anyways, so I'm in this phase of like, I don't need supplements, dot, dot, dot. Um, and I'm not taking any pharmaceuticals, which I had previously taken quite a bit of to manage, you know, my, my brain. Um, and So I realized, um, I go to a naturopath for some other stuff that's happening and she does muscle testing and she like, she sees the depression written on my body and I'm like in denial. I'm like, I'm healthy. I'm fit. It's fine. It's fine. No, it's not fine. It's not fine. So she gives me D5 HTP, this like supplement that helps. Um, I don't understand all the science, but it helps you keep serotonin. And maybe you actually can explain the science, but, um, in this case, I'm like, you know what? Fine. Like, I'll take it. Like, this chick doesn't know what she's talking about. Like, I'll try it. And at this time in my life, I am working third shift. At a terrible job that leans into my weaknesses and is like genuinely not a safe environment. Um, and then I'm getting up in the morning and I'm like, so I'm not sleeping and I'm going to college classes all day and then I'm coming home and I'm doing my college homework and So there's no reason for me to be happy in this season of life. That's what I'm telling you. There's no, there's no joy in this season of life. It is survival. I don't recommend it. But the craziest thing happened to me. I'm walking up the hill from the hospital that I worked at at night. Um, one morning. So I'm leaving work. I'm exhausted. And I'm walking up the hill to my house and I'm thinking. What a nice day. What a nice day. Yeah, Never in my life had I thought that before. And, and I, it takes me a minute. I'm so tired. But I like clock what I'm thinking, and then I'm like, wait, what the hell? That's not how I think at all. And obviously, like, now that's a lot more how I think, but back then, never. Um, and I'm like, holy shit, this, this must work. And I've pretty much, I I like to recommend all of my clients to Learn what trips their happy hormones. So, endorphins, serotonin, dopamine, um, uh, oxytocin is a big one for me that people forget about because if we're already dopamine deficient, right, so it's not even like we have to climb a mountain. We have to climb out of a hole. Then, get on the hill, and then climb up the mountain, and then be on the mountain and find out there's a whole nother mountain on top of it that we gotta climb before we're like there where we wanna be, and then this peak is really small, and you can only stand on it with one foot, trying to balance, and then you're gonna tumble back down again. So it's like, maybe I can't rely simply on trying to build my dopamine up, right? So like, Um, oxytocin for me personally, now that I've done so much mindset work to like be able to see how nice a day it is every day, I want that to be my baseline, the oxytocin hits that I can get just from like petting my dog or like When he lets me hug him and how I just like, look at him. I say the same to my husband all the time where I'm like, I would marry you again. And he's like, well, good, lucky for you. You don't have to. And like, I look at my dog and the same thought comes across my brain. Like, I just love you so much, I would marry you, I just want you to know, I just love you, if anybody ever needed me to let go of you. I would like all of you, I would never go anywhere where you couldn't go, like just, you know, I could cry thinking about it, and I'm an Aquarius moon, so that says a lot. Um, so like, if you can write down, and so I have a whole list of, in my self care planner, of happy hormone cheat sheet, right, so you can, on a down day, say, These are the supplements that help me the most. This is the movement that helps me the most. This is the show that helps me. Like, these are all the things that I can do on a low energy day that is flirting with unhappiness. That's so, so huge. And I, I have a list like that somewhere actually, um, I don't know where, I would have to find it, but, um, so for me specifically in this season of life where I'm like, okay, we're going to try to do life without the ADHD medication. Um, obviously I'm very okay with supplementing and like, yeah, I'm on board. I get that. The other, the thing that surprised me this go around though is that. Suddenly working out and being super active is way more important than it was a month ago. Like, I'm in a pretty, I do yoga every single day. I'm pretty good about walking because I don't live in the U. S. so it's easy for you. Um, and, and now all of a sudden it's like, oh, if I don't lift weights every why, do you know why weightlifting is so good for the ADHD brain? Oh, acid. So you will get the most cognitive, uh, improvement from weightlifting if you weightlift for, like, 20 30 minutes, not longer than 30 minutes, because then our body is in fight or flight for too long and body's like, Oh, God! Saber toothed tigers! We have to fight off the bear! Ah! Right? So it just stresses you out a little too much. So, good news, you only have to lift weights for a little bit. And you can lift as heavy as you want. Our bodies like to lift heavy things and move them. I don't know what it is about ADHD, but get in there, do it. Don't worry about getting bulky. And then you go for, I have to spell it cause my four leggeds are home, a W A L K for like 10, 20 minutes. And you stretch for about five, 10 minutes. That way the lactic acid. It's from the muscles. Cause lactic acid is the thing that makes you really sore. It's what like is hurting while you're lifting. Right? So you got to stretch that all through your body and then it'll get into your brain and you will, your cognitive, your cognitive function will improve so much for a very long amount. It's like extended release dopamine. Yeah, you got to do that. That is so cool! That is so cool! Okay, that makes, especially I love the key of like 30 minutes because I, like many people that chase endorphins, have very much overdone it it too, scientifically, Horrible. attribute the neurodivergent person, right? So, if you just think of neurodivergence, autism, ADHD, you know, dyslexia, all that, they all are just this one big spectrum. So, they're there. The reason that our nervous system is so sensitive, why lights are so bright and sounds are so loud and all that is because we were literally the ones that were like, I can go 3 days without eating while we go hunting. I can hear a twig crack a mile away in the forest and know that that's where our prey is and. Like we have the ability to hyper focus so that nothing is going to bother us, right? So it's not it's not an attention deficit. So we got too much. We don't know what's most important Yeah, yeah, it's super real. It's like, I do really believe that being neurodivergent is what has made me successful. Also, like I'm, I actually like was crying this weekend because it's really been hitting me. I'm like how hard I have worked most of my life to manage myself. In particular, like coming off the medicine and like seeing like how much harder life is without it. It's like. Oh, my God. And I did that for like 10, 15 years. No, like, Oh, my God. No wonder I burned out. Like, no, have some of the best you have some of the best sensory and sensory support That you've created all on your own from what you need and tapping into that and doing your research um, like Remind everybody I know you've told me before how do you quote time for? Working with your clients like don't you give yourself extra space. Oh my God. It's great. Listen yeah, okay. So this is like, we're about to get real nerdy, real obsessive here, but I know that I'm going to mask what I'm coaching, right? Because I am showing up for that person. 100%. I am spending a lot of energy being highly present and I'm spending a lot of energy giving them what they need. Right. I'm very happy to do that. It's very, it's not masking in a negative way. However, I'm still in overdrive when I'm coaching. So I have to have at least 30 minutes between sessions in order to lay down. And not room or eat or drink or shake my ass a little bit and like, whatever it takes to like, come back down that the other piece of this is that I'm going to say like 90 percent of my coaching is done in 90 minute segments. So we take a break halfway through that. I don't expect their brain to work that well, or my brain to work that well for 90 fucking minutes. But we can get so much more done. So we take a five minute break, and my rule is, and all my clients are like, really used to hearing this, I'm like, I don't care what you do, but you're not allowed to work, and you're not allowed to look at your screen. Like, go shuffle your ass, go pee, go drink water, go yell at your dog. I don't care. Just, like, get back into your body, basically. Um, what else? There's so many things that I do, um, to specifically manage that. But, like, the other sort of, like, flip side of this is that, like, I'm very intentional about how much I work. And right. So, like, this season of life going off the ADHD medication, um, and I'm also healing from mold exposure, which is like this whole saga of my life, which is like, honestly, kind of boring to get into, but, but I just have less to give. Right? And like, who in the neurodivergent community hasn't had that experience where they're just like, the comorbidity is like, adding up and I don't mean like, Like just multiple things happening at once, right? So in this season, I'm not really making content. Um, I'm making TikToks here and there, like when What? No way! honestly, like, avoid other work. But for the most part, I'm like, cool. Clients first. And like, of course, like connecting with prospects, things like that. Um, and then if I have time, I will promote my business. And for me, that's like a really important burnout support built that's such a good example of healthy hustle. So my partner, my business partner and I, Christina, we are really trying to navigate and teach at the Neuro Spicy Academy healthy hustle, right? So you can give your clients your all in a 90 minute session by making sure that there's a five minute break in between by making sure that you get lay down time. By making sure that, you know, when we break up our day and say, all right, so what do I have to do today? Okay, well I know that I have this call at 2:00 PM and that's gonna make me be very social and be very on. So I'm not gonna sign up for social events that morning, right? Like, I'm not gonna go live on TikTok and then I have three client calls 'cause I, there no way. I can't, I can't do it. And this is coming from the girl. Listen, listen. Trauma drive is real when. You are in fight, flight, fawn, or freeze, and you don't even know it because none of us even knew that we were. We're all coming to terms with it now. I literally used to be able to at the really busy restaurant, right? So I used to be able to wake up, go live while I was this is while I was building my business. Wake up, get the kids to school, eat breakfast, go live and do my makeup. Go to work at a very busy restaurant that will not be named unless you know me personally, uh, from, you know, 11 to 5, go to the grocery store afterwards, maybe hit up Target, maybe go out for drinks with the girls, come home, cook dinner, get the kids, wash your hands, do it again. What? And there were even more days where like I would wake up, go to the kids school, go to the gym, do my schoolwork because I got my degree in 2019, go to work at 4. 45, get out of there at 10 p. m., blah, blah, blah. How? I can't even go to Walmart and Target in the same day now. Right. Right. Because now, and I'm like, so the same, right? Like I worked and full time went to school full time as in my twenties, it was like, and I, you should have seen the way I built this business. Oh my God. Oh, it was insane. Uh, so I still relate to that and it's like, yeah. And it's kind of like that, that paradigm of like, what got you here is not going to get you to the next level. It's like, yeah, cool. Glad that I can hustle. Glad that I can work hard. Glad that I can. Drain my energetic resources and cool. If I want to be happy, healthy and, and, and truly help my clients create that. I don't get to fuck around with that. I have to be connected and listening to those super obnoxious cues of like, Hey, we need water. It's annoying, but it's, it's like, I really do believe it's like, yeah, the next level requires. Nervous system regulation and like next level, that sounds like my, Um, Christina said this to me yesterday and I'm gonna, it's gonna be all over my marketing so get fucking ready for it. Do you want to, how long do you want to keep working as hard as you are now? Like how long do you want to keep working this hard? Right? So if you're telling yourself, I don't need a coach, ask yourself, how long do I want to keep working this fucking hard? How much, and we know everybody either wants more time, money, or energy, or they want to save time, money, or energy. Those are the only motivating factors for anybody to hire anybody in business, right? So, If you're happy with the amount of output that you are required to do each and every day to be successful in your business, you don't need me. But if you want to get to that next level and know what the, what the right steps are and how to overcome that fucking imposter syndrome that pops up every goddamn time you start doing something new, it's like, who the fuck, who do you think you are again? I'm like, wait, wait, wait, I'm trained for this. This is what I do. This is my specialty. Mm. Yeah, every know what it takes? Okay, this is what I tell everybody good at Whenever that imposter syndrome starts coming in specifically for you and your business, right? So, whether it's people attacking you on the internet, Ha! Anyways, uh, whatever it is, Um, I want you to talk to somebody that knows you and your life, but doesn't... No, like doesn't do what you do. Right. So if my father in law he's coming in town this, this month, right. So we're hanging out and he's, he gets real excited. You know, he, I've been married to my husband, husband for, I don't, since 2006, you guys do the math. I'm not good at it. I got this calcula. Um, so he's been, he's like my second dad, right? He's known me since I was 19 years old. Anyways. So he always gets so excited. He's like, how's your business going? And now I have this new venture at the neuro spicy Academy and I will just, I'll start talking about. You know, whatever it is we're doing. We're talking about marketing this week, we're talking about business design this week, we're talking about mindset this week. And, you know, the way they kind of just go glazy eyed and you're like, I know a lot about my subjects, I know a lot about what I do, and not everybody knows this. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. And it becomes so clear. Yeah. The moment you talk to somebody that's not in the world and do you do when it comes to, cause my style for networking is this. My spirit guide say, that person, and I figure out how to reach out to them. And I try and not worry about how I'm perceived, cause I figure it's all gonna work out. And I just, you know, go with honesty. Right. So what are your tips and tricks that have worked best for you when it comes to building that network, building that community? Oh, my God. Um, I, well, the first thing I have to like, admit here is I have a huge advantage or a couple of huge advantages. Um, one, um, I grew up with a very, very extroverted mother. So I thought it was normal to go to the grocery store and make new friends every time. And in my little autistic brain, I was like watching my mother and I was like, this is how humans do things. Cool. So, so I learned, like, I got the imprint, the pattern of Being very connective and outgoing, super young, just from watching her and mimicking her, right? So, I will be the first to admit that that is like a huge advantage. And if you can, if you are anywhere, you know, neuro spicy, If you can get around somebody that's good at networking and learn their pattern. Like, that's like the best fucking thing in the world that you can do. It's just, like, and like, learn from somebody that you like, right? Cause you're gonna be mimicking them. Like, know that about yourself. Yeah. Um, but the second thing that I think has worked really well in my favor is that, um, teaching yoga, people got to know me. So I had this sort of following community of trust. From doing something totally unrelated and this is, I think, so key with networking on social media, right? Like, nobody actually cares about your business. Like, sorry guys, but it's true. Nobody gives a shit about your business until they give a shit about you, right? So, like, Melanie, you're such a good example of this. Like, you share things about being neuro-spicy and making that work in your life. And, I don't know, like, you know, chicken or egg or how that worked for you, but... That's why people care is they have buy in from all of this like great things that you've been giving anyways, right? So same for me. I have this yoga, this yoga community. And by the way, that was, I haven't taught yoga in like seven years. Maybe six years. And I still consistently have one or two clients at a time from that era. So it, it hangs out for a long time. Um, but now the networking is, I will often live in community cause I'm nomadic, uh, travel around. So I have my own apartment right now. We're in the kitchen. It's very cute. You can see all my little project sticky notes in the background, but, but most of the time I actually live in community with other. Digital nomads. So naturally, you're sitting around the dinner table, you're hanging out, you're buying groceries or whatever it is. Just being a kind person gets you so far. And, and like, one of my friends is like launching a retreat right now and, um, I met her in a co live and so I've given her feedback and support on her website, just like her friend. But what happens from that is, and by the way, like I asked if she wanted it and then gave it in a digestible volume, right? I'm not just like spraying knowledge on people, which I had to learn the hard way. Um, but what naturally happens is, so she has a win with me and she's supported. She tells other people that those people come to me. And I think like just being in that stance of like, willing to be supportive and helpful, not in like giving away free coaching all the time or whatever, but like, Hey, if you change the spine, it's going to work better or like, just those basic things like that, I think just goes so far. And, and as I'm saying this, like the thing that's like rolling around my brain, like alarm, alarm, alarm is like, so many women are so conditioned to work for free that like for me to say that I'm like, Oh, do not hear that. I want you to work for free. Like that is not, I went. So I'll say this, like kind of counterbalance that it's like, yes, in this era of my life. I have really good boundaries built and maintained and are so clear that I can offer advice and people appreciate it And respect it now the first couple years of my business. I couldn't do that. I had I didn't do any pick my brains I didn't get coffee with people or did not do it because I was so fucking commissioned to work for free And to give things away and that I didn't have this like energetic, there wasn't in my aura, this sense of like expecting and receiving people's, uh, respect for my work, right? I had to build that internally and hold like higher boundaries until I had that. And now I can. Feel organically when it's time to like offer support and when I'm gonna be appreciated and when it's like a bad Academy students, but I say, don't speak up in rooms that are full of people that are committed to misunderstanding you. We do not have enough energy every day. To be trying to convince people that don't want to be convinced that you know your shit or you know that you have value Or and there you're gonna find a lot of people when you turn into an entrepreneur and you start running your business or businesses People that you thought really had your back don't have your fucking back now You are not making them happy you going off and being happy and successful. I have not stepped Foot inside the restaurant that I quit in June of 2021 to go full time with my business. I have not set foot inside the restaurant. I showed up once a year and a half ago to bring my, uh, friend at the time. She's no longer my friend. Um, something that she left at my house or whatever. It's probably a weed pen or some shit. I don't know. Um, We'll just say phone charger to be safe. Uh, but I, I, and, but I just took it to the patio and dropped it off on this little spot, like this little nook in the patio. I didn't go in the doors. I have no, I don't want to go there. None of those people are rooting for me. And if they are, then, like, thank you, but. You don't get, they don't get behind the scenes. Nobody gets behind the scenes access. Like, I don't have to explain myself to anybody, which also makes me think I want to know your opinion on when networking, right, when building your community, right? So we want to build followers and people that we can really, uh, positively impact, and then we want to build network with like mentors and people we can learn from, I want to be the big fish in the room. 10 percent of the time. And then I want to be the small fish in the room 90 percent of the time because I want to learn and I want to grow. And because I have the PDA profile of autism along with my ADHD, I don't believe a lot of people. I don't deal well with hierarchies and like, I will trust that you know what you mean if you sound like you know what you mean, but I'm not just going to look at somebody like I could, I could meet Gary V and unless he really like positively impacted me right then and there, I wouldn't think that he's the end all be all. And I know he knows his shit, but it's like, You know, I want to be in a state of learning. So what do you think when it comes to Being a big fish or a small fish. Um, I think if you're a big fish in a small pond too often. You will slowly die like that sounds really dramatic, but that's what that experience was like for me. Um, I was very much a big fish in a small pond in my home city. And while I think that that helped me launch my career, because. Uh, it was so easy to be semi well known and, um, like easy to get that initial work. What I found was that I hit the ceiling of what I could do in that community and in that city really quickly. And that was so draining to fight against, and it was so draining to be the most successful person in every room I was in. Like, it's not cocky at all. really cocky? We well first I'm f ing good at what I do. your prices If you're around a bunch of people that can't afford it, right? So you have to if you move in circles With people that are doing better than you and they say, you know what? You really, you know, This happened to a client of mine. She went to a conference and she was real nervous about it And she was like, oh my god, she wasn't speaking or anything, but she got invited to go to this conference Uh got in for half price And um, like the person running it or something was like, hey, I really want you to go I think you'd benefit from it. So it worked out really really well, but she Was a little shaky in her prices and that sort of stuff, you know, a newer coach that sort of thing and talking to people that have bigger price points. And she actually got connected with somebody who was like, I am going to hire you. And she was able to charge way more than she's ever charged before. And that person didn't fucking blink an eye. I didn't even blink an eye, you know, like, oh, I don't have a website. How much is it? It's 7, 000 to work with me and they're like, okay, cool. Here's my card. What? Okay, you know, like be cool, be cool. So, you know, you gotta, you gotta run in bigger circles. You know, we want to find the balance. Like I want to be hot shit, but I also want to go in rooms where I'm like, wow, that person is hot shit. Right? Right? And for me, and I don't know if you've like dealt with this, but, uh, for me, there was so much I don't even know if imposter syndrome is like the right word, but I would feel Yeah. would those big fish, why would those, like, people that I look up to want to be friends with me? And, honestly, I had to get the fuck over that. Like, um, and I think, like, it helps. There's a couple of mindsets that I have going into those kind of relationships. Because now, I do have a lot of friends that are more successful than I am. And it is so cool, it is so cool to have that bar raised. Um, and so, like, the first... Sort of mindset that I was holding is like, let me think about what I have to offer this person. Like, let me actually make a list, whether it's in my head or on paper, who cares of like how I'm bringing value because nobody, and I know that you've felt this. I think we've talked about this before, but like the last thing in the world I need is another person that wants to hang out with me to like be in my energy. Like, no, you can pay me for that. Like if you're just showing up. To a relationship with me trying to get something from me and you're not offering anything. Well, 1, that's actually a really big victim mentality, but 2, like, that's not attractive to me. Like, I don't, there's no value add. I don't need the ego boost. Um, there was a time in my life where, yeah, that looks nice, but that's, that's long past. So. So being in this intentional space of like, I have things to offer and this could be what they are. Maybe not, but like, this could be the value add. Um, and then also just considering that that person is as human as you are. They, they have fears and insecurities. They sometimes can't sleep at night. They worry about how their body looks like. We are all having this crippling human experience at the end of capitalism together. And even if, even if they're doing it in a way that I perceive to be better than I am, they're still having it. And, and there's still humans that need love and support and affection and to be heard and valued, um, not put well, you know, it's not the here's the mindset reframe that I always do too. It's not that they're doing better than me. It's that they're farther in their journey. They're just farther in their journey. Oh, I do like that. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, value in and of They figured something out is so eye of the beholder. Like, like you said, a victim mentality. If somebody is stuck in that victim mentality, I stopped hanging out with somebody because like I, me and my spirit guides were having conversations about this person where I was like, I think it's time to like not reach out to this person anymore. And I don't, I don't want to hang out with them anymore. I don't really like their first reaction when I said, Oh, I'm just going to do my business. I'm going to quit my job and do my business full time. They're like, Oh, well, if you think you can, that's check number one on the list of what the fuck and This is the thing that they said that made me go, I'm not reaching out to this person anymore, and I'm also not going to be available anytime they call and say they want to hang out, and I know that they'll just trickle away really fast. They said to me, Oh, well, you know, I just feel so much better after I hang out with you. Yeah, because you drained the life force out of me. I don't know how I feel when I'm done hanging out with you. Not great! Yeah, and it's not like, are they good enough? It's like, literally just, are you valuing the same things and going in the same direction? And like, clearly they are not, um, and like, maybe they will in some way, but yeah, you can't. You can't fuck with somebody that's questioning you making big exciting moves. You need to be insulated. Oh, I feel so strong about this. You need to be insulated. If you're trying to do anything that's slightly different from the norm of like, eating a ton of junk food, working for corporate America, overspending. Like, if you're trying to get out of that at all, you have to be insulated with people that believe in you. Like, cause the world's gonna tear that down. This is like such a perfect example of this, this happened last night, okay, so I'm like, also what's happening with my hair, this is insane. Um, if you guys can see the video, it's like, um, but, so I'm in the season of figuring out, I'm working through some brain fog from mold exposure, and, um, and I'm off my ADHD medicines, so I'm relearning how to work with myself again in this like new state. It just is what it is. And like I would say every couple months I have to adapt again. But yesterday I had to process a bunch of big emotions, , and it stalled me the fuck out I got, I was using all my tricks, like I go for a walk, da, da, da, do this, do this. No, I was just dysregulated. So I texted my best friend and I was like, dude, I'm dysregulated. I'm fine, but I'm just dysregulated and I'm going on this podcast tomorrow. I wanna be my best self. Will you say some nice things to me? a good idea. Oh no. It's the, it's the fucking bag. It's the fucking bag. And it's like, I almost cried like asking, you know? And then she texts back immediately and she's like, Hey, I'm at dinner. Um, but I wanted you to know that I saw this and on my way home from dinner, I'm going to send you some things. And then she did, you know, two hours later, she sent me the sweetest voice message and of course I cried again. Um, and it was exactly what I needed to like be put back into my power as a person. And I think like, I really miss this early in my entrepreneur journey. And I think a lot of people do is like. I, my best friend, she is my person, my emergency contact. I spend the holidays with her. I will travel and have traveled across the world to be with her. This person, ride or die, I did not know her three years ago. I did not know her three years ago. And the people I was hanging out with three years ago had a very different mentality and were not ever going to be the people that were going to put me back in my power and hold me to the version of me that I want to be. Joanna, my chair just broke, um, Joanna absolutely does hold me in my power and I just, I think it takes a lot of learning to understand how to cultivate that relationship. Um, and it did for me, I did not know how to do that. I have a Um, but now that about people like as a neurodivergent energy healer and energy reader, I can, I can ignore people's red flags, right? Like I can choose not to see the red flags and people really, really well. Like, uh, it's, it's a talent really. Uh, it's a blessing and a curse. So I have an agreement with my spirit guides that. They if they remove someone from my life, right? So somebody just disappears from whatever reason friend You know, obviously not a romantic relationship because it's been the same one for nine million years. Love you, babe Um, but i've decided I made this pact with them where I was like if somebody leaves I'm not going to fight it anymore, I'm not going to beg them to stay, and I'm not going to waste any time or energy saying, I WONDER WHY! I said, I promise, if you remove the people that are ill fitting and, you know, potentially toxic or toxic, I will thank you and I will trust that the reason they're removed will become clear eventually. Because if you think about it, like, I've had a couple of really dramatic friend breakups over these past couple of years since, you know, post COVID, and thank God for it, um, but when, if I were to have known why they left right at that moment, A, it wouldn't have meant what it means, like, now, you know, hindsight's 20 20, and I'm regulated now, and that sort of stuff, but I wouldn't have understood it, and it would have just added to the misery of the breakup. it. Absolutely. Absolutely. We don't need, like, I personally love to know what's happening in everything, and that is actually overwhelming. Like, it's great when I can turn that on, but I have to be able to turn it off and be like, I'm going with the flow, like great example, next week, I'm moving to an island that I've never been to before with a language. I don't know with a culture. I don't know. Um, I don't have that planned out and and my little spicy brain wants to spend 20 hours researching and planning the most intricate thing ever and that would , oh my God. Take everything away from my business and way too many resources away from what I need to be doing, which is my business. And I need to be trusting that I have, I'm smart. I, I know how to travel and I will figure it out in time. Right? I like have to, like I and let that go There's a relatively large Greek population here in Jacksonville, Florida. Um, and they are so loving and welcoming and, um, They'll feed you. When I tell you, there are some cultures that just want to feed you. Greek is at the top of that list, baby, and it's good food. It's like that kind of food that is like healthy and sticks to your ribs all at the same time. It doesn't make any sense, but it's perfect and it's wonderful. So you're going to have the best time. I just absolutely know you're going to have the best time there. They're, they are an incredible people. Very welcoming, very warm. Like if anything, yeah. Now that I am super unmasked and I'm aware of like how energy affects me and how people's hugs affect me, I could be hugged by Greek people and have no problem with it. Like I'm picturing my one actual friend who's Greek. Her kid is about the same age as my kids, like right in the middle. And she's just like the sweetest angel you've ever met in your entire life. And they like to have a good time. That is so cool. That's so good. I'm here for it. I'm ready. I'm ready for some clean air, some vibes. And then we have some baklava, baklava? Baklaar? I can see how you would mix those up. I want to tell you too, cool beach town in before I get you to plug your spot what I want to eat. get you to answer the lightning round of questions, I wanted to tell you, and this is for everybody listening too, two of the best supplements to help ADHD specifically are Saffron and L tyrosine. I will tell you there are two disclaimers. Saffron has shown really, really great results, uh, for mood. Right? So, neurodivergent or not. Um, but you have to be very careful that you're getting real saffron, because it's, it's more expensive per pound than diamonds. So, you know, you do your research, make sure you're getting real saffron, you can either get the actual little saffron strings or you can find some good third party tested quality supplements with saffron. And L tyrosine is fantastic, it is a, like a building block for protein, so that's again why a high protein diet is so important for neurodivergence. Um, but with L tyrosine, Be careful because it can cause headaches if you take too much of it or if I can't really, I couldn't tell exactly what Why I was getting the L tyrosine headache. So you may have to not take it every single day. Um, but both of those, like if you have to like harness your hyper focus and get a couple hours of work done, saffron L tyrosine and it would be a laser tractor beam, just straight in, nothing will get in your way. Uh, it's so cool. Like, I do have a lot of respect for pharmaceuticals, uh, particularly in times of crisis, um, but like now that I have the energy and the stability in my life, my business to troubleshoot the more natural options. listen, They're equally if there was a lot, okay, so I interviewed a naturopath doctor, Dr. Alicia, um, on a fellow episode of HERE, and okay, so she, there's this quote from this other doctor, Dr. Megan Walker, okay, and this is what Dr. Alicia, who was on my show, said, Dr. Megan Walker talks about how MDs, right? Medical doctors, not the naturopathic doctors. MDs are really here to make sure you're not dead, right? To walk that line of fine, right? So do you have a disease? No, alright? But they are not here for wellness. They are not here for thriving. Right? So, you know, pharmaceuticals are good for that line of fine. Get you back to some sort of status quo operating homeostasis level and then to really elevate past that and get your self care going and get your cognition where you want it to be because we have so many things in our life from your neurodivergent brain to the Your environment, which you're now seeing the effects of and whatnot, to the people we spent, like there's so many things that are interacting, your mood, your, your brain fog, your fatigue, all of that, your energy. So we really what they if you have the ability to start supplementing, you know, go to a doctor. Get your blood panel done so you can really see where everything is, right? The Dutch test is very important for a neurodivergent person. Um, cause there are so many things that come into play. Like if you have MCAS, uh, which like, if it's also a comorbidity with Ehlers Danlos hypermobile and all this stuff, then you're naturally going to be more inflamed and your body is releasing more histamines. So you have to get a certain kind of B vitamin. It's gotta be methylated. It's gotta be this, like there's so much research you got to do. That, you know, go, go to your regular doctor if you can. Hopefully you can depending on what country you're listening from. Even here in the U. S. It's very difficult, especially if you have medical trauma. Um, but you know, do that part and then start supplementing. You know, you got to do your research. You got to take care of yourself because there's nobody else on this planet that's supposed to take care of you. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And even if there is, right, like a romantic partner or a parent or something, like, is that actually the relationship you wanna have with them? Do you wanna need them? on, that Because you can't take care of Do you want that to be the relationship? Wow! I never thought about it like that. Yeah, I Have Absolutely had to have that heart to heart with myself a couple times in my life and in particular with I'm a lesbian, but I just seems, it's so weird to me, because to me that would be like me being like, I didn't realize I was short. L O L Yeah, they're like, oh, finally you understand, we knew all along. I came out, literally no one was surprised. Everyone was like, yeah, we know. No. Exactly. It was yeah, patting you on the head, we know. I was coming up to them and being like, I'm short. But, but my last romantic relationship with a man, uh, very generous man, very successful man. And he really wanted somebody that was going to compliment his life and fit into his life. And it was a good life. And I realized after like a year or so doing that, that I then needed him. I've been so accommodating that my income had dropped. And I needed him and I was like, and then of course he cheats. And I'm like, Oh, well, you got yourself in an interesting little pickle, didn't you? And that was a very, like for me, an a maturing moment that I needed to be like, I actually don't care what gender I'm dating. I will not financially rely on them and I will not give so much that I have to be in that. Reliance phase, I want to be equal and like, sure there's code, there's, you know, you get in match with the person that's real, but like, I just had that moment of like, I gave it's such a valuable lesson for building a team, too. You don't want to build a team that needs you, because then how the fuck do you go on vacation? How do you sell the business? How do you, what are we talking about here? You can't be, Indispensable and indisposable, like, it's your idea, you're the magic behind all of it, but teach everybody else how to tap into their magic and their abilities and what they're really great at, right? Like, you and I are both of the mindset, and I know this, that stop trying to get good or get better at what you're not naturally good at, and then just hone in and per As much as you can, what you are naturally good at. Right. And so you should be doing that with your team and you should be doing that with everybody in your life. Right. I don't push my teenage kids to be something that they're not. I talked to my 14 year old all the time and he's like, um, so they put me in this class, but it's college prep. And I don't even think I'm really like going to go to college right away. And I was like, yeah, let's get you out of that class. That's a waste of your fucking time. What are you talking about here? Like, no, no way. Not at all. So, you know, really seeing people for who they are and. And like bolstering and helping them become better versions of themselves. Hell yes, hell yeah. And I would just add that, that, like, I think a big piece of what can drive our need to control and insert ourselves in those situations when we don't need to be, is if we've given them too much responsibility too fast, we don't actually trust them. Like I'm a big, big believer in like. Slowly widening the window of tolerance on, on everything, but especially on bringing people into your business, you know, give them a small task, see how it works before you hand over the keys to everything. Um, I feel that way about coaches. I feel that way about all of it, right? Like take a baby step, see how it actually fucking feels. And then it's so much easier to actually trust that person to do what you're hiring them to do. We gotta learn somehow. I tell you what, we all have our learning styles. Mine is personally until I can't take it anymore and I need to change. Oh my God. But that's also like, I think one of the things that makes you so special and so you and so able to be successful is that you are willing to hit the breaking point and actually change. mean, I quit drinking back in November and You know, if you take them, if you have the mindset of everything in my life served me up until the point that it no longer served me, right? So alcohol for me served me for a period of time, and then I realized it wasn't serving me anymore. I'm not the kind of girl that can just have a couple glasses of wine. I want to go hard, right? Um, and I am also, as an entrepreneur, I like waking up at five or six o'clock in the morning, sometimes earlier depending on what my projects are at the time, because I like that quiet time and I like that my brain turns right on when I wake up in the morning, right? So I have two sons, a stepson, two male dogs, and my husband. My stepson does not live here. It's all of these men and we're all my husband and my youngest take an hour to wake up in the morning if they had their way even less than longer than that if they had their fucking way. I don't talk to him yet. They'll tell you when they're ready to be talkable. But my 14 year old and I, once our eyes are open, let's go like we're let's go. Right? So it's so important to to like, evaluate Transcribed Where you're not being very intentional where you're not being very mindful in your life because as an entrepreneur your life and business are enmeshed There's no I don't know any especially if you're neurodivergent I just don't know any other way around it then you being like, all right Well, I can go to lunch with you on Friday, but then I have a client call I have to take in the car afterward, you know, like it's it all flows in together It's one of the reasons we got into business ownership, but so we could do whatever the fuck we want to do You know, but you really have to think about what helps me and alcohol wasn't helping me it actually. Super real. And it's hard, right? Like I have some habits that I know are not serving my business or my overwhelming. And I haven't, I haven't figured them out yet. Like, I think especially with the superpower of heightened self awareness, like we have to be really graceful with ourselves of like, you're not going to make every change at once. And it's okay. Like, uh, and I'm thinking specifically of watching TV before bed. Um, that is going to make you love me more than you love anybody else on this two years, okay? Yeah, All right. So there's a new creator. Well, she's new to me. I don't remember her name or anything. She's on tiktok That's where I found her And she was talking about how and this made me so happy it makes all the sense and I haven't I haven't done all My research to back it up yet, but it just makes so much sense the ADHD brain does not like The quiet, dark stillness, so all of those sleep hygiene habits that everybody says, Don't watch TV as you fall asleep, you know, make it like this, do this. The reason that our brain clicks on as soon as you take away all that stimuli is because your brain is stimming. So if your brain, when you try and go to sleep, in the quiet, without a show or anything, and it starts going, Alright, you either have, you have two options, right? You can start trying to visualize tomorrow and how you're going to have that, or... You can start replaying all the fuck ups you've had in your entire life all the time, right? Or every fight that you would fucking have with those bitches now if you were to run into them at the grocery store. So, instead, if you are the person that falls asleep with a telly on with a show, like an emotional support show... And I've done this, right? Like, I watch my phone in my bed, I have my sleep headphones that are like a headband on, my husband goes to sleep right next to me, but he's a little bit of a snorer, it's okay, I snore too. Um, but I, I watch a show, it's usually Down Abbey, or um, anything else, it's like, I, it's got a lot of episodes, I don't have to worry about shutting off in the middle of it, and like, I don't have to worry about missing anything. But I've tried to, like, I've been falling asleep to that show before, and I'm like, okay, turn on the guided meditation, and as soon as it fucking turns on, Or the rain sounds turn on my brain's like, all right, let's go to work. And I'm like, I should have just left the show on. So try just leaving the show on. I love that. And I think that is like such a compassionate way to look at it. It's like, actually that is overall serving me. And of course it is, otherwise it wouldn't stick. I will, I will say, I do have a couple. Um, like favorite meditations that I fall asleep to very regularly. I'm really good about like shifting from the show. Like, okay, I'm falling asleep. Let me turn on this favorite meditation. And it's like very specific, right? Like not all of them will do it, but then I can fall asleep to that and like be. Hypnotizing myself essentially in my sleep, which I do about you, but I think that like listening to the British people on Downton Abbey to go sleepy, sleepy, or else it's my own hectic, chaotic. Wow. What else are we going to do? Do you want to get up and do something now? Huh? Maybe you gotta pee. It's just like, come on guys. We don't have to be talking all the time up here, but she doesn't listen. It is what it is. The only thing that makes the, the The brain go quiet is the stimulant. I was like, God damn it. And what I'm not going to sleep. So, you know, you got to do what you got to do. But the moral of the story, I'll do a little more research and I'll tag you in the videos, but it makes perfect fucking sense to me right now. Yeah, I think it makes total sense. And I think it's like, one, like, why are we judging ourselves for surviving in what is truly a society that is not built for us on any level, right? But, but two, it's like, okay, if I really don't want to watch you before I fall asleep, let me meet that need another way. Like, I'm, it's not going to go away. I'm not ever going to be the person that just falls asleep. I love it. So take that off the table and Yeah. All right. So Abigail, before we dive into the lightning round of fun ADHD questions, tell everybody where they can find you and how they can work with you and all that good stuff. It will also be linked to the video, but I like. Uh, the auditory presence of it as well. Cool. Well, cool. Well, you can find me on Instagram to talk, um, at Abigail Schippers and that spelling is a little funny, so you can find it in the show announcer. Um, you know, just like pray to your gods that you spell it right, whatever path you choose. Um, and then if it's meant to be, we'll find each other. Um, and so the thing that I want to offer up to your audience is if they're resonating with me and if they're saying like, Oh, I want to have that flow and support my business. I want to know. What I need to do to grow my business, but also how to actually honor the rest that I need and all of that flow. If you want the framework without being forced to be stuck inside of it, you are the person that I want to work with. Um, and so the thing I coach on social media, on copywriting, on content creation, on creating good offers that will sell themselves, please, dear God, more people need this. Um, but the way that, um, The thing that I do that is, uh, like a special skill that I am best at, in my opinion, and frankly, in what people tell me, um, is that I help you take content that's not converting. Maybe it gives you good followers, but it's not converting to clients, and you don't know why everyone's going to the site and not actually clicking the button. Or they go to your profile, but they're not actually clicking the links to find you. Whatever it is, I find where people are getting stuck in your path to working with you, and I fix it. So that is what I am really good at. Finding the problem area and helping you create messaging and content and shifts so that people move through that path. a lot easier. So I'm very, very passionate about this. I believe deeply in working smarter, not harder. And I think a huge piece of that is Seeing somebody that You're like a messaging want has what you want and letting them help you. It is the cheat code to life. Um, yes. Yes. And I get in there. I get in there with the research and the data. And what is the competition doing? And like. What did your soul come alive for and how do we gonna like create this big like perfect mixture of all of those things coming together? It's, I'm super fucking passionate about it. Um, I just love it. I wish you guys could see my smile right now because it just makes me happy thinking about it. Um, but anyways, one, I have a fire anyways that you can do that with me. Um, If you're well established and have the money, the whole process for you and hand deliver it in a beautiful little bow, which is so satisfying. Um, but a lot of people that are maybe establishing their business or just want to get that piece to like, see, um, we do more coaching and consulting. So what I want to offer to your audience, and I really believe that this is super cool is. It's a 90 minute one off session where you can sit down with me, get your questions answered, or get my feedback on your business, your content, whatever is happening with no commitment. And I feel really strongly about having this in my offer suite. Because I want you to be able to actually feel if it's right for you without stepping into a huge commitment right away, if you're not sure, right? So, anyways, those sessions, they're 90 minutes, they're over Zoom. You leave with a clear to do list that is actually doable for you in your current season of life. And clear direction, uh, those Yeah Run don't walk. audience 10 percent off, which I have never done Love it. before. It's going to be so fun! And of course, the code is MELODY10, because why not? How fun! So... These sessions are priced in a way that worked really well for most of my audience. But I do believe that offering a little financial incentive once in a while makes it easier for people that feel stuck to take action. So if you're stuck and you're feeling like there's too many options, choose the one on sale. Try it. See if it resonates. Um, so we'll put the links below for all of that stuff if you want to get into it. But the code is Melanie10. And if it resonates. If it doesn't, don't an angel. Yay. All right. Are you ready for the lightning round of questions? right for you. All right. These are fun and easy. We're not going to overthink them right just of consciousness first and foremost What's your favorite social media platform? Uh, number two, what's the most recent rabbit hole you've gone down? Tick tock. Easy. Oh my God. Um, I don't know if this is the most recent, but the most pronounced, um, is I just got on. Create Tik Tok, the Greek island I'm going to, and I just went deep in like all of the you know, there are playlists on YouTube Music, which is one I listen to, and then I'm sure on, uh, Spotify. Anyways, uh, I love you, Spotify. I love it. Um, the Santorini playlists, those are gonna be real fun and up your alley. Cause did you ever notice how similar the, like the Greek Island music can be to like? The Caribbean islands music like they both use that metal drum. That's like, you know, that sounds like, um, little mermaid. Yeah. So right up your alley. That'll get you. That'll get you in the mindset of it. Okay. What is your. Yeah, I'm I can't wait to see the pictures of you over there and all of your content for being over there. I'm going to live vicariously this summer. Um, is your emotional support show? It's going to be so beautiful. Good question. Um, this, I feel like it's dying out. Like I'm at the end of an era right now. But Mythic Quest, know what that show is. Is that a sci watching that show on repeat for like a year straight. It's, oh, it's ultra nerdy. It's super, it's a show about a team of, um, video game developers. And they're all definitely on the spectrum of some sort and just super nerdy. And it's like this beautiful embrace of like I like it. You know, Silicon Valley is one of Epic at what they do. it helped me really get through a lot of my male trauma. Like, not really wanting to be around men, not wanting to listen to men. I mean, with the exception, you know, I have my sons, I have my husband, I have my male dogs, all that. It's not all men. La la la la la la. Don't come at me in the comments. But like, it really helped me, like, appreciate. The male perspective a little bit more plus everybody on that show is neurodivergently coded. So it's like it's a safe space, you know And they're driven and they're entrepreneurs and they're you know, what I really like about uh, silicon valley is There is like a crisis in every episode with a unforeseen, uh, solution. So it's like, it's a good reminder for us manifestors that like, shit can look like it's on fire, but the firemen are on their way. You don't have to know that the solution's on the way. Like you don't have to see it happening. It's, it's on its way. You don't have to freak the fuck out. It's so good. You're going to love it. Okay. I love that this one's a funny one. It's a two parter. Have you consumed water today? And do you want to share with us your emotional support cup? Excellent. God. I love this podcast so much. I have consumed water and only from my emotional support cup. Um, this is, uh, this is a glass water bottle from Sort of like the Mexico City version of Starbucks, and I immediately was so happy because it's glass and therefore it's the right texture for me to hold, and We love that. You know, the sound of a of someone crushing a water bottle from the right cup. so much rage inside of me. I don't even, it should be illegal to be able to crush those. It's the worst sound in the world. And they're so wasteful, like, and I mean I'm not like, question. Last question before the whole world falls out. What is your current dopamine snack or meal? I Oh, okay. So my go-to, um, I lean really heavy into a protein diet. It makes me so much happier. Um, like stupidly, I don't know why it works so well. I but my, like go-to, I need a do dopamine hit and I need to like, love a croissant. shop and I get a buttery It's so good. Yeah, a croissant makes me think of waking up at my grandparents house in Tampa because my parents would drop us off there for like a week or two at a time. Now that I like think about it, I'm like, I wish I had that with my kids, but whatever. Um, and you know, you just wake up, you'd swim all day. My grandpa, he was a retired air force. Like he started the air force out of the army air corps and was a POW in world war two, all sorts. He's really cool guy. Um, but He would go to McDonald's every morning at like 6 a. m. Cause you know, once in the military, always in the military. And bring home all the McDonald's breakfast. So that was aces. And then Mimi, my grandma, always made sure we had like the containers of fresh croissants from Publix. If anybody knows Publix, it's the best grocery store in the history of the world. And I will pay the premium for Publix. But to always have croissants and you just put it on a paper towel and you throw it in the microwave for 10 seconds. And we wondered why everybody gained 15 pounds every summer. It's like, what are we talking about? Huh? What? Not me. Yeah, it's definitely not a, um, uh, release dopamine. That's what I like about it. option, but man, does it make the dopamine just go crazy. And I actually, like, I don't know how true this is, but I like to tell myself that because it's so high fat, it's giving me less of a glucose spike. The power I think, you know, even And there are studies that have shown people that just thought about working out their arms versus people that actually worked out their arms. The people that just thought about working out their arms saw a 15 percent improvement in their muscle strength and the, like the way it looks. So don't doubt. your brain's ability to do incredibly positive things for your body. It really is. It really is. And with that, sweet angel friend, I'm going to thank you for being on and thank you everyone for listening. And I love you all so much equally and for different reasons. Thank you so much for having me. It is honestly a joy to talk to you anytime, but especially Bye. if we get to nerd out and other people are going to listen to us nerd out. I love it. I love it. Thanks for having Hello and welcome to another episode of Trailblazers Rising. I'm very excited in trying to contain myself today because I have my good friend who I've been stalking on the interwebs for what, would you say about a year now? I don't know, time is not real. And it's Abigail Schippers! Everybody say yay! Yay! you this one's gonna be, uh, it's gonna be all over the place. Buckle in everybody. So Abigail, say hi to everyone. Alright, are you ready to dive into some crazy questions for all of us neurodivergent and neuro-spicy entrepreneurs? And we may even get into the difference between neurodivergent and neuro-spicy, which is simply, we use neuro-spicy because it's a neurodivergent person having fun. That's, that's how it's categorized in my brain. Alright, so, I like it. Abigail, when I first saw you on TikTok or Instagram, I don't remember which one it was, my spirit guides were very clear about you, and they said, Her and I said, okay, this is what they do to me. They say them right? So I scroll and my spirit guides like point and say them and I go, okay When and they go i'm not gonna tell you that I say, okay how they got i'm not gonna tell you that I said, okay, cool. So just strap in start talking to people. Excellent. Um, so As we've been communicating and I've been learning about your digital nomad lifestyle, which I am envious of as a married woman with, with teenage children, your freedom to travel is, is, is makes me envious. So what was it that sparked your entrepreneurial journey? What sparked that fire in you and tell, don't spare any details. We want to know everything. Yay. Oh, what a fun question to start with. Um, I love podcasts. It's like just a good excuse. Like tell really fun stories. Like so fun. Um, okay. So. It's kind of like two pieces to my entrepreneurial journey. Um. Because, and I'll start, so in high school, I was a terrible student, I rarely showed up to class, I was obnoxious if I was there either. I think that's pretty relatable. Crazy. Um, so, when I was in high school, I knew, I knew very young that I was neurodivergent. And so, by the time I was in high school, I was like, yeah, I cannot live this way. I cannot go to class this many hours a day. And I happen to inherit a small, um, a dog kenneling company. So my brother, older than me, had built this dog kennels in our, in our barn. We lived in the country, we were little bumpkins. And he went off to college, and I got to run this business. And so I had this very unique experience of making minimum wage at my job, and then coming home and making 100, 200 a night kenneling dogs. And I was like, this is terrible. Like I'm working so much work hard for all like, like clearly owning a business is the way to go. So from, I mean, I was broken from that point on, like there was no way I was ever going to have a real job. Um, and I stand by that. I can make so much more money, so much more easily. And, you know, in alignment with my truth from business. Anyways, so fast forward into my twenties. I've like kind of dicked around with college a little bit, um, got my associate's degree, did a job here, a job there, you know, I'm like kind of run around trying things and like not loving anything, end up teaching yoga full time. And I love it. I'm like, this is it. I get to tell people how to fix their pose. I get to be inspiring. I get to make people happy. I'm like, done. I'm spoken. I'm in. I'm teaching at the best studio in the city. Like, literally rated number one, blah, blah, blah. Um, and I'm like, living the dream. Like, how many people's dream is it to be a full time interviewer? I'm joking. So many. No And that didn't last very long because yoga teachers don't make any money. Like I was, I was like respected in my community. I'm using like air quotes, um, and like good and recognized and like good at what I did, whatever, using your body! You know, you can only walk around the classroom checking people's forms so much before people are like, this bitch isn't teaching me anything. She's not doing anything. I can just do this at home. Yeah. Yeah. It's very physically intensive job too. So it's like, it just wasn't, it wasn't working that well. So. Um, what I did is I was just like trying to earn extra money any way you could. So I'm offered to help with different jobs around the studio, the yoga studio. And that quickly led me into like this digital marketing space and, uh, turns out I had a knack for it. So then the owners of the studio tell their friends who own an acupuncture clinic, and I'm. Soon enough, I'm over there doing their digital marketing and da, da, da. And so I do this for like, uh, maybe a year where I like have my hands in a bunch of local wellness businesses in their marketing and I'm teaching yoga. But what happened was the wellness community in my city was so scared of marketing and had been so burned. So many times that people are just not respecting their craft or understanding that it has to be different than like Target's marketing or like fucking all you fucking want. Oh, sorry. Can we swear on this? Okay. Great. Cool. I figured. But yeah, anyways. Um, so I do this for a while and I don't think anybody expected me to be as successful as I was because it's starting to get in the way of teaching yoga. And then the owners were like, Oh, we actually have a problem with this. What a nice way to say I got let go. Yeah, yeah. The actual reality of that was way, way more dramatic. Oh my God. Um, but anyways, then I was like, Oh, I guess I have a business that I didn't really mean to start and now it has to support me. So I got serious about it. And really like the fuel of this whole thing, because during that season of life, when I was teaching and doing this, I was like learning, teaching myself how to do marketing at night. And I would frequently work until like midnight, just trying to figure shit out. Yeah. I was just fueled by like this fury that people in wellness, people that are trying to help people heal and be happy and whole and healthy just get paid like shit. Absolute shit. Like, and that anger drove me. Right up until I burned out a few years later, like it really built the entire first leg of the business. I was just mad. I want people to have when it comes to digital marketing, I'll tell you that is, uh, uh, its own beast in and of itself and everything that it covers and everything that it includes and what I have been most surprised about on my entrepreneurial journey as a, you know, neurodivergent business coach who is also a psychic. Intuitive, who is also an energy healer, so I'm very involved in the wellness space, the witchy space, the neurodivergent space, right? I didn't realize all the different forms of digital marketing that one must do to be successful in business. So like, I love social media marketing. Check me out on TikTok if you haven't already. That's probably how you found this here podcast. Um, I love social media. Social media makes sense to me. I love building a community. I understand copywriting, but natural it is not for me. So I, I like to, uh, work with ChatGPT or work with my, my partner over at the neuro-spicy Academy, Christina, who is a fucking genius when it comes to, like, she creates the kind of copy that makes you go. Hold on, I gotta get that down. Slow down, slow down. Hold on, hold on. Um, so, in the digital marketing space, what is your favorite? Oh, Oh my God, that's such a good question. Um, honestly, I'm going to, I'm going to go like super micro here. My is that? is Instagram stories. Um, I have, I love the temporary nature of it, which I know like that bothers some people, but to me it feels like a playground of experimentation and connection, and it's such an interesting, like. Private door into my, my life, right? Because like I, whatever's happening in my life, whatever. And they can DM me directly and have a connection like that. Where else can that happen on the internet with such fluid connection? Um, while we have the freedom of, it's not going to last. Oh, can last if we want it doesn't have to. Like, Oh, I just think that's so cool. I've made not Instagram in our DMs? Oh, you know, I do, you know, I do. Okay. So right now I have a, a couple of clients in this, but one in particular that I'm thinking of where we're really, they're very specific business brand. Okay. And they don't have like a spokesperson or like, you know, you're the face of your business, Melanie. This is not, not that. So they're trying to personalize a brand. Well, I'm personalizing it for them without, without, without without that, which is a huge barrier of entry. Um, and what we're using, so this is like, Please, people, put your face on your social media if you're in person. Oh my god, please. You're gonna make so much more money. But, whether or not you do that, on your Instagram stories, how you can get people to start interacting with you is to start using more of the features that Instagram stories provide for that. Like the polls, the questions, um, the, like, there's that little, like, sliding scale that you can ask people. Like, any of that stuff. It, like, sounds like... Like, honestly, like not, um, creative enough, like I should have something spicier in my back pocket. And sure, like there's right ways to do it and strategy and blah, blah, blah. But if you just start using ways for people to interact with you and start actually talking to your audience and asking them questions, that engagement goes right up and people start connecting with you. Like you're a real Yeah, which, you know, on TikTok, they don't really realize you're real. So, excuse me, Love a good instagram story and as a 37 year old millennial woman If one more person tells me not to use the fucking boomerang feature i'm gonna be like then why did they leave it there? Also, this is something we were talking about This is the neuro spicy academy in one of our rebel round tables I think it was last week and I was teaching people about instagram instagram stories funny enough. We should talk about it now um And so we all made an Instagram story together and like tagged each other and all of that sort of stuff, right? And I, this is my one caveat to the millennial use of social media. Stop tilting your con your con your, your text. Stop tilting your fucking text! Text is, 90 degree, text is just, stop tilting it. It's so amateur. It's Yes. awful. It is so, I, you're gonna be my first client! Like, it's so amateur. It's like not a good user experience at all to like, try to read text on a, like, and you just why, why? No, no, it doesn't make any sense Using Instagram stories. So and I'm sure you are this exact same way. I don't use social media for my personal life anymore I am literally the amount of time that I spend Scrolling because I have that baked into my calendar because it's important for my business and I fucking love it Like the amount of time I spend Instagram LinkedIn posting over there doing all that. I'm branching out into YouTube I don't want to look at it again I don't, I don't care what anybody else is doing on, if you, if you're important in my life, call me up and tell me what's going on, or text me and tell me what's going on. I'm not going to find out from Instagram. I, I deleted Facebook from my phone a couple months ago when everything was happening with the, the, Whatchamacallit, TikTok, potential TikTok ban. I was like, fuck this. And I just don't like it over there. So now, of course, the barrier to entrance, trying to get back on Facebook, they're like, is this your account? I'm like, no, that, I have like four Facebook accounts that I didn't even know about. Oopsie daisy. Um, so when you get to interact with people in your stories, cause you do a great job of this, you do a fantastic job of like behind the scenes, inspirational, hilarious, engaging, and interactive. So it's really like, They know they've already built that bond with you and you guys maybe have not even had a conversation. Yeah, um. Um, I really talk, there's like a couple of things that like my mind is just like spinning and I'm like, Oh my God, they need to know this. Okay. So I'm just going to wrap it up. Um, so there are, yeah, like certain topics. Um, I have what I call anchor stories where I'm repeatedly sharing similar content so that my audience knows what to expect from me. And that actually makes them more likely to go seek it out. Um, this is specific to Instagram stories. It's a little different, obviously other places. But like my anchor stories are things that I post that are already a part of my life that I know Represent what my ideal client wants from me, right? Like so a classic something that's on my stories constantly is like me going out to eat And having like beautiful meals and like moments with my friends And I share it one because like oh my god, I love it. I love it But I know I know that it's like a lot of my audience That's their goal too. They want to have the money for it. They want to have the time for it. So I'm sharing and I'm showing my life very naturally, but I'm also saying to these people like, Hey, I have what you want and I can help you get there. If, if you aren't right, there's no weird pressure. Okay. So that is something I'm super passionate about. Everyone should have anchor stories, two to three things that you consistently post about. So, so much alleviation of brain ADHD moment, buffering, second thing I was going to buffering, buffering it left. If it's, it'll come back. Well, cause our next topic that I want to get into with you because we've talked about this at length and you briefly mentioned it is we know that running a business can be super stressful and that. You and I working with entrepreneurs see burnout every single day, every single day. So what are your favorite like self care practices to stop that cycle of burnout? Oh my God. Yeah. We have talked about this and I, I won't go through the whole list because that would, that would be like several hours. Um, but that's a good Is that like the level of self care I have in my life is. Yeah. I mean, I think I listed it out once for you and it's like several pages of like specific things that I do, um, to make life work, but okay, so like things, this is perfect timing. This is such a perfect timing because two weeks ago, I ran out of my ADHD medication. And I cannot get more. Um, I'm in Mexico City right now. And Mexico laws, their, their medical system is very different than the United States. I'm just assuming most people listening are from the United States. Um, but in the United States, you know, you go to a doctor, you get a prescription, you go to the pharmacist, right? In Mexico, that process varies a lot state by state. And in the particular state that I'm in right now. I can't just go get ADHD medication from a doctor or a pharmacy. So, and like, this is travel, right? This is life. Um, but so I have been, I'm like, okay, that route's not going to work. I'm going to like lean into my alternative. So I'm doing Ryan's Man right now. I'm doing, um, Do you take yours at night or in the morning? people do not talk about. I just switched to morning again, just recently. Um, magnesium. And then I have like a list of like other things I'm going to buy. Before I leave Mexico City, So I take lion's mane, thank you, taking is like for performance and, um, reishi. Mushrooms, and those are literally, I take them in the morning, along with my diet Dr. Pepper, and I say, I'll get moving when this shit kicks in, and it kicks in, I say, let's get moving. When I it comes to your Thank you. I knew, I knew you make sure that they, when it comes to mushrooms, you want the bottle to say, made from flowering only. So it's got to be from the flowering part of the plant. If it doesn't say that, like, all mushrooms, the blend you can get, that's trash. They don't use the flower. It's just, they might as well be throwing dirt in there. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. Um, and you also want to translate this bottle and third party tested, because that means, you know, your, most of the stuff that you're going to see in the store is not third party tested. So you want to look for that. do you have like specific brands that you are like, these I will send you the link for the ones that I'm currently using because I really do like them and I haven't put them on my supplements list yet. Um, but I'll send you my Amazon affiliate link so I get a cut of it. Um, yeah, yeah. Nice. Do you guys you want to look for like the third party testing. Um, and you want to, if you're looking on Amazon, you want to really like read what the bottles say. You really want to read it. You don't because like there's the Amazon brand blue raspberry Gummies that are what's the stuff for your tummy? That's really good to make you go poop poop probiotics I don't know why that was so hard probiotics. There's they have this Amazon brand blue raspberry gummy probiotic That is so good and works so well that I have to like write down when I take them so I don't take too many Well, as a girl, I have the problem where if I don't take something, then I don't use the bathroom. Like, I just literally don't, like, I, it's part of my, uh, hypermobility Ehlers Danlos. I'm finding out the The muscles just don't work properly. So like, unless I'm doing something to get those digestive muscles going, they're just going to be like, nevermind, we're not going to do anything. And then if you have like stress on top of it and you're not in your, in your parasympathetic, you know, digestion is not number one on my body's list of things to do. I have to make it number one on my body's list of things to do. Um, so I'm very diligent about taking all of my supplements. Um, even something like your fish oil. That's higher in EPA than DHA for an ADHD brain. Fish oil will help you stay regular and it will help feed your brain and it will help your skin. Nice. Nice. I am a big fan of fish oil. I didn't know if it was good for ADHD, but I found that, uh, I'm a little depression prone, so I, if I don't intentionally lift that Yeah. Fish oil is really, it packs a punch and most people don't think about it, but you aren't going to see like an instant result from fish oil. You know, you got to take it for a couple of days, a couple of weeks, and then all of a sudden you're just gonna be like, actually. Feel pretty great. Like I'm not relying on caffeine and I'm not super irritable and like I actually just I feel really just Functional, you know, cuz you know our baseline our baselines are low man Yeah! Can I tell you this story about... Like, okay. So in my early twenties, I was very diehard, pure organic. I was raw vegan. I was like, you know, no supplements, get your nutrients from food, which is like, obviously insane because our food doesn't have any nutrients anymore. Whatever, you know, 10 years ago, we live and learn. Um, and. Anyways, so I'm in this phase of like, I don't need supplements, dot, dot, dot. Um, and I'm not taking any pharmaceuticals, which I had previously taken quite a bit of to manage, you know, my, my brain. Um, and So I realized, um, I go to a naturopath for some other stuff that's happening and she does muscle testing and she like, she sees the depression written on my body and I'm like in denial. I'm like, I'm healthy. I'm fit. It's fine. It's fine. No, it's not fine. It's not fine. So she gives me D5 HTP, this like supplement that helps. Um, I don't understand all the science, but it helps you keep serotonin. And maybe you actually can explain the science, but, um, in this case, I'm like, you know what? Fine. Like, I'll take it. Like, this chick doesn't know what she's talking about. Like, I'll try it. And at this time in my life, I am working third shift. At a terrible job that leans into my weaknesses and is like genuinely not a safe environment. Um, and then I'm getting up in the morning and I'm like, so I'm not sleeping and I'm going to college classes all day and then I'm coming home and I'm doing my college homework and So there's no reason for me to be happy in this season of life. That's what I'm telling you. There's no, there's no joy in this season of life. It is survival. I don't recommend it. But the craziest thing happened to me. I'm walking up the hill from the hospital that I worked at at night. Um, one morning. So I'm leaving work. I'm exhausted. And I'm walking up the hill to my house and I'm thinking. What a nice day. What a nice day. Yeah, Never in my life had I thought that before. And, and I, it takes me a minute. I'm so tired. But I like clock what I'm thinking, and then I'm like, wait, what the hell? That's not how I think at all. And obviously, like, now that's a lot more how I think, but back then, never. Um, and I'm like, holy shit, this, this must work. And I've pretty much, I I like to recommend all of my clients to Learn what trips their happy hormones. So, endorphins, serotonin, dopamine, um, uh, oxytocin is a big one for me that people forget about because if we're already dopamine deficient, right, so it's not even like we have to climb a mountain. We have to climb out of a hole. Then, get on the hill, and then climb up the mountain, and then be on the mountain and find out there's a whole nother mountain on top of it that we gotta climb before we're like there where we wanna be, and then this peak is really small, and you can only stand on it with one foot, trying to balance, and then you're gonna tumble back down again. So it's like, maybe I can't rely simply on trying to build my dopamine up, right? So like, Um, oxytocin for me personally, now that I've done so much mindset work to like be able to see how nice a day it is every day, I want that to be my baseline, the oxytocin hits that I can get just from like petting my dog or like When he lets me hug him and how I just like, look at him. I say the same to my husband all the time where I'm like, I would marry you again. And he's like, well, good, lucky for you. You don't have to. And like, I look at my dog and the same thought comes across my brain. Like, I just love you so much, I would marry you, I just want you to know, I just love you, if anybody ever needed me to let go of you. I would like all of you, I would never go anywhere where you couldn't go, like just, you know, I could cry thinking about it, and I'm an Aquarius moon, so that says a lot. Um, so like, if you can write down, and so I have a whole list of, in my self care planner, of happy hormone cheat sheet, right, so you can, on a down day, say, These are the supplements that help me the most. This is the movement that helps me the most. This is the show that helps me. Like, these are all the things that I can do on a low energy day that is flirting with unhappiness. That's so, so huge. And I, I have a list like that somewhere actually, um, I don't know where, I would have to find it, but, um, so for me specifically in this season of life where I'm like, okay, we're going to try to do life without the ADHD medication. Um, obviously I'm very okay with supplementing and like, yeah, I'm on board. I get that. The other, the thing that surprised me this go around though is that. Suddenly working out and being super active is way more important than it was a month ago. Like, I'm in a pretty, I do yoga every single day. I'm pretty good about walking because I don't live in the U. S. so it's easy for you. Um, and, and now all of a sudden it's like, oh, if I don't lift weights every why, do you know why weightlifting is so good for the ADHD brain? Oh, acid. So you will get the most cognitive, uh, improvement from weightlifting if you weightlift for, like, 20 30 minutes, not longer than 30 minutes, because then our body is in fight or flight for too long and body's like, Oh, God! Saber toothed tigers! We have to fight off the bear! Ah! Right? So it just stresses you out a little too much. So, good news, you only have to lift weights for a little bit. And you can lift as heavy as you want. Our bodies like to lift heavy things and move them. I don't know what it is about ADHD, but get in there, do it. Don't worry about getting bulky. And then you go for, I have to spell it cause my four leggeds are home, a W A L K for like 10, 20 minutes. And you stretch for about five, 10 minutes. That way the lactic acid. It's from the muscles. Cause lactic acid is the thing that makes you really sore. It's what like is hurting while you're lifting. Right? So you got to stretch that all through your body and then it'll get into your brain and you will, your cognitive, your cognitive function will improve so much for a very long amount. It's like extended release dopamine. Yeah, you got to do that. That is so cool! That is so cool! Okay, that makes, especially I love the key of like 30 minutes because I, like many people that chase endorphins, have very much overdone it it too, scientifically, Horrible. attribute the neurodivergent person, right? So, if you just think of neurodivergence, autism, ADHD, you know, dyslexia, all that, they all are just this one big spectrum. So, they're there. The reason that our nervous system is so sensitive, why lights are so bright and sounds are so loud and all that is because we were literally the ones that were like, I can go 3 days without eating while we go hunting. I can hear a twig crack a mile away in the forest and know that that's where our prey is and. Like we have the ability to hyper focus so that nothing is going to bother us, right? So it's not it's not an attention deficit. So we got too much. We don't know what's most important Yeah, yeah, it's super real. It's like, I do really believe that being neurodivergent is what has made me successful. Also, like I'm, I actually like was crying this weekend because it's really been hitting me. I'm like how hard I have worked most of my life to manage myself. In particular, like coming off the medicine and like seeing like how much harder life is without it. It's like. Oh, my God. And I did that for like 10, 15 years. No, like, Oh, my God. No wonder I burned out. Like, no, have some of the best you have some of the best sensory and sensory support That you've created all on your own from what you need and tapping into that and doing your research um, like Remind everybody I know you've told me before how do you quote time for? Working with your clients like don't you give yourself extra space. Oh my God. It's great. Listen yeah, okay. So this is like, we're about to get real nerdy, real obsessive here, but I know that I'm going to mask what I'm coaching, right? Because I am showing up for that person. 100%. I am spending a lot of energy being highly present and I'm spending a lot of energy giving them what they need. Right. I'm very happy to do that. It's very, it's not masking in a negative way. However, I'm still in overdrive when I'm coaching. So I have to have at least 30 minutes between sessions in order to lay down. And not room or eat or drink or shake my ass a little bit and like, whatever it takes to like, come back down that the other piece of this is that I'm going to say like 90 percent of my coaching is done in 90 minute segments. So we take a break halfway through that. I don't expect their brain to work that well, or my brain to work that well for 90 fucking minutes. But we can get so much more done. So we take a five minute break, and my rule is, and all my clients are like, really used to hearing this, I'm like, I don't care what you do, but you're not allowed to work, and you're not allowed to look at your screen. Like, go shuffle your ass, go pee, go drink water, go yell at your dog. I don't care. Just, like, get back into your body, basically. Um, what else? There's so many things that I do, um, to specifically manage that. But, like, the other sort of, like, flip side of this is that, like, I'm very intentional about how much I work. And right. So, like, this season of life going off the ADHD medication, um, and I'm also healing from mold exposure, which is like this whole saga of my life, which is like, honestly, kind of boring to get into, but, but I just have less to give. Right? And like, who in the neurodivergent community hasn't had that experience where they're just like, the comorbidity is like, adding up and I don't mean like, Like just multiple things happening at once, right? So in this season, I'm not really making content. Um, I'm making TikToks here and there, like when What? No way! honestly, like, avoid other work. But for the most part, I'm like, cool. Clients first. And like, of course, like connecting with prospects, things like that. Um, and then if I have time, I will promote my business. And for me, that's like a really important burnout support built that's such a good example of healthy hustle. So my partner, my business partner and I, Christina, we are really trying to navigate and teach at the Neuro Spicy Academy healthy hustle, right? So you can give your clients your all in a 90 minute session by making sure that there's a five minute break in between by making sure that you get lay down time. By making sure that, you know, when we break up our day and say, all right, so what do I have to do today? Okay, well I know that I have this call at 2:00 PM and that's gonna make me be very social and be very on. So I'm not gonna sign up for social events that morning, right? Like, I'm not gonna go live on TikTok and then I have three client calls 'cause I, there no way. I can't, I can't do it. And this is coming from the girl. Listen, listen. Trauma drive is real when. You are in fight, flight, fawn, or freeze, and you don't even know it because none of us even knew that we were. We're all coming to terms with it now. I literally used to be able to at the really busy restaurant, right? So I used to be able to wake up, go live while I was this is while I was building my business. Wake up, get the kids to school, eat breakfast, go live and do my makeup. Go to work at a very busy restaurant that will not be named unless you know me personally, uh, from, you know, 11 to 5, go to the grocery store afterwards, maybe hit up Target, maybe go out for drinks with the girls, come home, cook dinner, get the kids, wash your hands, do it again. What? And there were even more days where like I would wake up, go to the kids school, go to the gym, do my schoolwork because I got my degree in 2019, go to work at 4. 45, get out of there at 10 p. m., blah, blah, blah. How? I can't even go to Walmart and Target in the same day now. Right. Right. Because now, and I'm like, so the same, right? Like I worked and full time went to school full time as in my twenties, it was like, and I, you should have seen the way I built this business. Oh my God. Oh, it was insane. Uh, so I still relate to that and it's like, yeah. And it's kind of like that, that paradigm of like, what got you here is not going to get you to the next level. It's like, yeah, cool. Glad that I can hustle. Glad that I can work hard. Glad that I can. Drain my energetic resources and cool. If I want to be happy, healthy and, and, and truly help my clients create that. I don't get to fuck around with that. I have to be connected and listening to those super obnoxious cues of like, Hey, we need water. It's annoying, but it's, it's like, I really do believe it's like, yeah, the next level requires. Nervous system regulation and like next level, that sounds like my, Um, Christina said this to me yesterday and I'm gonna, it's gonna be all over my marketing so get fucking ready for it. Do you want to, how long do you want to keep working as hard as you are now? Like how long do you want to keep working this hard? Right? So if you're telling yourself, I don't need a coach, ask yourself, how long do I want to keep working this fucking hard? How much, and we know everybody either wants more time, money, or energy, or they want to save time, money, or energy. Those are the only motivating factors for anybody to hire anybody in business, right? So, If you're happy with the amount of output that you are required to do each and every day to be successful in your business, you don't need me. But if you want to get to that next level and know what the, what the right steps are and how to overcome that fucking imposter syndrome that pops up every goddamn time you start doing something new, it's like, who the fuck, who do you think you are again? I'm like, wait, wait, wait, I'm trained for this. This is what I do. This is my specialty. Mm. Yeah, every know what it takes? Okay, this is what I tell everybody good at Whenever that imposter syndrome starts coming in specifically for you and your business, right? So, whether it's people attacking you on the internet, Ha! Anyways, uh, whatever it is, Um, I want you to talk to somebody that knows you and your life, but doesn't... No, like doesn't do what you do. Right. So if my father in law he's coming in town this, this month, right. So we're hanging out and he's, he gets real excited. You know, he, I've been married to my husband, husband for, I don't, since 2006, you guys do the math. I'm not good at it. I got this calcula. Um, so he's been, he's like my second dad, right? He's known me since I was 19 years old. Anyways. So he always gets so excited. He's like, how's your business going? And now I have this new venture at the neuro spicy Academy and I will just, I'll start talking about. You know, whatever it is we're doing. We're talking about marketing this week, we're talking about business design this week, we're talking about mindset this week. And, you know, the way they kind of just go glazy eyed and you're like, I know a lot about my subjects, I know a lot about what I do, and not everybody knows this. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. And it becomes so clear. Yeah. The moment you talk to somebody that's not in the world and do you do when it comes to, cause my style for networking is this. My spirit guide say, that person, and I figure out how to reach out to them. And I try and not worry about how I'm perceived, cause I figure it's all gonna work out. And I just, you know, go with honesty. Right. So what are your tips and tricks that have worked best for you when it comes to building that network, building that community? Oh, my God. Um, I, well, the first thing I have to like, admit here is I have a huge advantage or a couple of huge advantages. Um, one, um, I grew up with a very, very extroverted mother. So I thought it was normal to go to the grocery store and make new friends every time. And in my little autistic brain, I was like watching my mother and I was like, this is how humans do things. Cool. So, so I learned, like, I got the imprint, the pattern of Being very connective and outgoing, super young, just from watching her and mimicking her, right? So, I will be the first to admit that that is like a huge advantage. And if you can, if you are anywhere, you know, neuro spicy, If you can get around somebody that's good at networking and learn their pattern. Like, that's like the best fucking thing in the world that you can do. It's just, like, and like, learn from somebody that you like, right? Cause you're gonna be mimicking them. Like, know that about yourself. Yeah. Um, but the second thing that I think has worked really well in my favor is that, um, teaching yoga, people got to know me. So I had this sort of following community of trust. From doing something totally unrelated and this is, I think, so key with networking on social media, right? Like, nobody actually cares about your business. Like, sorry guys, but it's true. Nobody gives a shit about your business until they give a shit about you, right? So, like, Melanie, you're such a good example of this. Like, you share things about being neuro-spicy and making that work in your life. And, I don't know, like, you know, chicken or egg or how that worked for you, but... That's why people care is they have buy in from all of this like great things that you've been giving anyways, right? So same for me. I have this yoga, this yoga community. And by the way, that was, I haven't taught yoga in like seven years. Maybe six years. And I still consistently have one or two clients at a time from that era. So it, it hangs out for a long time. Um, but now the networking is, I will often live in community cause I'm nomadic, uh, travel around. So I have my own apartment right now. We're in the kitchen. It's very cute. You can see all my little project sticky notes in the background, but, but most of the time I actually live in community with other. Digital nomads. So naturally, you're sitting around the dinner table, you're hanging out, you're buying groceries or whatever it is. Just being a kind person gets you so far. And, and like, one of my friends is like launching a retreat right now and, um, I met her in a co live and so I've given her feedback and support on her website, just like her friend. But what happens from that is, and by the way, like I asked if she wanted it and then gave it in a digestible volume, right? I'm not just like spraying knowledge on people, which I had to learn the hard way. Um, but what naturally happens is, so she has a win with me and she's supported. She tells other people that those people come to me. And I think like just being in that stance of like, willing to be supportive and helpful, not in like giving away free coaching all the time or whatever, but like, Hey, if you change the spine, it's going to work better or like, just those basic things like that, I think just goes so far. And, and as I'm saying this, like the thing that's like rolling around my brain, like alarm, alarm, alarm is like, so many women are so conditioned to work for free that like for me to say that I'm like, Oh, do not hear that. I want you to work for free. Like that is not, I went. So I'll say this, like kind of counterbalance that it's like, yes, in this era of my life. I have really good boundaries built and maintained and are so clear that I can offer advice and people appreciate it And respect it now the first couple years of my business. I couldn't do that. I had I didn't do any pick my brains I didn't get coffee with people or did not do it because I was so fucking commissioned to work for free And to give things away and that I didn't have this like energetic, there wasn't in my aura, this sense of like expecting and receiving people's, uh, respect for my work, right? I had to build that internally and hold like higher boundaries until I had that. And now I can. Feel organically when it's time to like offer support and when I'm gonna be appreciated and when it's like a bad Academy students, but I say, don't speak up in rooms that are full of people that are committed to misunderstanding you. We do not have enough energy every day. To be trying to convince people that don't want to be convinced that you know your shit or you know that you have value Or and there you're gonna find a lot of people when you turn into an entrepreneur and you start running your business or businesses People that you thought really had your back don't have your fucking back now You are not making them happy you going off and being happy and successful. I have not stepped Foot inside the restaurant that I quit in June of 2021 to go full time with my business. I have not set foot inside the restaurant. I showed up once a year and a half ago to bring my, uh, friend at the time. She's no longer my friend. Um, something that she left at my house or whatever. It's probably a weed pen or some shit. I don't know. Um, We'll just say phone charger to be safe. Uh, but I, I, and, but I just took it to the patio and dropped it off on this little spot, like this little nook in the patio. I didn't go in the doors. I have no, I don't want to go there. None of those people are rooting for me. And if they are, then, like, thank you, but. You don't get, they don't get behind the scenes. Nobody gets behind the scenes access. Like, I don't have to explain myself to anybody, which also makes me think I want to know your opinion on when networking, right, when building your community, right? So we want to build followers and people that we can really, uh, positively impact, and then we want to build network with like mentors and people we can learn from, I want to be the big fish in the room. 10 percent of the time. And then I want to be the small fish in the room 90 percent of the time because I want to learn and I want to grow. And because I have the PDA profile of autism along with my ADHD, I don't believe a lot of people. I don't deal well with hierarchies and like, I will trust that you know what you mean if you sound like you know what you mean, but I'm not just going to look at somebody like I could, I could meet Gary V and unless he really like positively impacted me right then and there, I wouldn't think that he's the end all be all. And I know he knows his shit, but it's like, You know, I want to be in a state of learning. So what do you think when it comes to Being a big fish or a small fish. Um, I think if you're a big fish in a small pond too often. You will slowly die like that sounds really dramatic, but that's what that experience was like for me. Um, I was very much a big fish in a small pond in my home city. And while I think that that helped me launch my career, because. Uh, it was so easy to be semi well known and, um, like easy to get that initial work. What I found was that I hit the ceiling of what I could do in that community and in that city really quickly. And that was so draining to fight against, and it was so draining to be the most successful person in every room I was in. Like, it's not cocky at all. really cocky? We well first I'm f ing good at what I do. your prices If you're around a bunch of people that can't afford it, right? So you have to if you move in circles With people that are doing better than you and they say, you know what? You really, you know, This happened to a client of mine. She went to a conference and she was real nervous about it And she was like, oh my god, she wasn't speaking or anything, but she got invited to go to this conference Uh got in for half price And um, like the person running it or something was like, hey, I really want you to go I think you'd benefit from it. So it worked out really really well, but she Was a little shaky in her prices and that sort of stuff, you know, a newer coach that sort of thing and talking to people that have bigger price points. And she actually got connected with somebody who was like, I am going to hire you. And she was able to charge way more than she's ever charged before. And that person didn't fucking blink an eye. I didn't even blink an eye, you know, like, oh, I don't have a website. How much is it? It's 7, 000 to work with me and they're like, okay, cool. Here's my card. What? Okay, you know, like be cool, be cool. So, you know, you gotta, you gotta run in bigger circles. You know, we want to find the balance. Like I want to be hot shit, but I also want to go in rooms where I'm like, wow, that person is hot shit. Right? Right? And for me, and I don't know if you've like dealt with this, but, uh, for me, there was so much I don't even know if imposter syndrome is like the right word, but I would feel Yeah. would those big fish, why would those, like, people that I look up to want to be friends with me? And, honestly, I had to get the fuck over that. Like, um, and I think, like, it helps. There's a couple of mindsets that I have going into those kind of relationships. Because now, I do have a lot of friends that are more successful than I am. And it is so cool, it is so cool to have that bar raised. Um, and so, like, the first... Sort of mindset that I was holding is like, let me think about what I have to offer this person. Like, let me actually make a list, whether it's in my head or on paper, who cares of like how I'm bringing value because nobody, and I know that you've felt this. I think we've talked about this before, but like the last thing in the world I need is another person that wants to hang out with me to like be in my energy. Like, no, you can pay me for that. Like if you're just showing up. To a relationship with me trying to get something from me and you're not offering anything. Well, 1, that's actually a really big victim mentality, but 2, like, that's not attractive to me. Like, I don't, there's no value add. I don't need the ego boost. Um, there was a time in my life where, yeah, that looks nice, but that's, that's long past. So. So being in this intentional space of like, I have things to offer and this could be what they are. Maybe not, but like, this could be the value add. Um, and then also just considering that that person is as human as you are. They, they have fears and insecurities. They sometimes can't sleep at night. They worry about how their body looks like. We are all having this crippling human experience at the end of capitalism together. And even if, even if they're doing it in a way that I perceive to be better than I am, they're still having it. And, and there's still humans that need love and support and affection and to be heard and valued, um, not put well, you know, it's not the here's the mindset reframe that I always do too. It's not that they're doing better than me. It's that they're farther in their journey. They're just farther in their journey. Oh, I do like that. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, value in and of They figured something out is so eye of the beholder. Like, like you said, a victim mentality. If somebody is stuck in that victim mentality, I stopped hanging out with somebody because like I, me and my spirit guides were having conversations about this person where I was like, I think it's time to like not reach out to this person anymore. And I don't, I don't want to hang out with them anymore. I don't really like their first reaction when I said, Oh, I'm just going to do my business. I'm going to quit my job and do my business full time. They're like, Oh, well, if you think you can, that's check number one on the list of what the fuck and This is the thing that they said that made me go, I'm not reaching out to this person anymore, and I'm also not going to be available anytime they call and say they want to hang out, and I know that they'll just trickle away really fast. They said to me, Oh, well, you know, I just feel so much better after I hang out with you. Yeah, because you drained the life force out of me. I don't know how I feel when I'm done hanging out with you. Not great! Yeah, and it's not like, are they good enough? It's like, literally just, are you valuing the same things and going in the same direction? And like, clearly they are not, um, and like, maybe they will in some way, but yeah, you can't. You can't fuck with somebody that's questioning you making big exciting moves. You need to be insulated. Oh, I feel so strong about this. You need to be insulated. If you're trying to do anything that's slightly different from the norm of like, eating a ton of junk food, working for corporate America, overspending. Like, if you're trying to get out of that at all, you have to be insulated with people that believe in you. Like, cause the world's gonna tear that down. This is like such a perfect example of this, this happened last night, okay, so I'm like, also what's happening with my hair, this is insane. Um, if you guys can see the video, it's like, um, but, so I'm in the season of figuring out, I'm working through some brain fog from mold exposure, and, um, and I'm off my ADHD medicines, so I'm relearning how to work with myself again in this like new state. It just is what it is. And like I would say every couple months I have to adapt again. But yesterday I had to process a bunch of big emotions, , and it stalled me the fuck out I got, I was using all my tricks, like I go for a walk, da, da, da, do this, do this. No, I was just dysregulated. So I texted my best friend and I was like, dude, I'm dysregulated. I'm fine, but I'm just dysregulated and I'm going on this podcast tomorrow. I wanna be my best self. Will you say some nice things to me? a good idea. Oh no. It's the, it's the fucking bag. It's the fucking bag. And it's like, I almost cried like asking, you know? And then she texts back immediately and she's like, Hey, I'm at dinner. Um, but I wanted you to know that I saw this and on my way home from dinner, I'm going to send you some things. And then she did, you know, two hours later, she sent me the sweetest voice message and of course I cried again. Um, and it was exactly what I needed to like be put back into my power as a person. And I think like, I really miss this early in my entrepreneur journey. And I think a lot of people do is like. I, my best friend, she is my person, my emergency contact. I spend the holidays with her. I will travel and have traveled across the world to be with her. This person, ride or die, I did not know her three years ago. I did not know her three years ago. And the people I was hanging out with three years ago had a very different mentality and were not ever going to be the people that were going to put me back in my power and hold me to the version of me that I want to be. Joanna, my chair just broke, um, Joanna absolutely does hold me in my power and I just, I think it takes a lot of learning to understand how to cultivate that relationship. Um, and it did for me, I did not know how to do that. I have a Um, but now that about people like as a neurodivergent energy healer and energy reader, I can, I can ignore people's red flags, right? Like I can choose not to see the red flags and people really, really well. Like, uh, it's, it's a talent really. Uh, it's a blessing and a curse. So I have an agreement with my spirit guides that. They if they remove someone from my life, right? So somebody just disappears from whatever reason friend You know, obviously not a romantic relationship because it's been the same one for nine million years. Love you, babe Um, but i've decided I made this pact with them where I was like if somebody leaves I'm not going to fight it anymore, I'm not going to beg them to stay, and I'm not going to waste any time or energy saying, I WONDER WHY! I said, I promise, if you remove the people that are ill fitting and, you know, potentially toxic or toxic, I will thank you and I will trust that the reason they're removed will become clear eventually. Because if you think about it, like, I've had a couple of really dramatic friend breakups over these past couple of years since, you know, post COVID, and thank God for it, um, but when, if I were to have known why they left right at that moment, A, it wouldn't have meant what it means, like, now, you know, hindsight's 20 20, and I'm regulated now, and that sort of stuff, but I wouldn't have understood it, and it would have just added to the misery of the breakup. it. Absolutely. Absolutely. We don't need, like, I personally love to know what's happening in everything, and that is actually overwhelming. Like, it's great when I can turn that on, but I have to be able to turn it off and be like, I'm going with the flow, like great example, next week, I'm moving to an island that I've never been to before with a language. I don't know with a culture. I don't know. Um, I don't have that planned out and and my little spicy brain wants to spend 20 hours researching and planning the most intricate thing ever and that would , oh my God. Take everything away from my business and way too many resources away from what I need to be doing, which is my business. And I need to be trusting that I have, I'm smart. I, I know how to travel and I will figure it out in time. Right? I like have to, like I and let that go There's a relatively large Greek population here in Jacksonville, Florida. Um, and they are so loving and welcoming and, um, They'll feed you. When I tell you, there are some cultures that just want to feed you. Greek is at the top of that list, baby, and it's good food. It's like that kind of food that is like healthy and sticks to your ribs all at the same time. It doesn't make any sense, but it's perfect and it's wonderful. So you're going to have the best time. I just absolutely know you're going to have the best time there. They're, they are an incredible people. Very welcoming, very warm. Like if anything, yeah. Now that I am super unmasked and I'm aware of like how energy affects me and how people's hugs affect me, I could be hugged by Greek people and have no problem with it. Like I'm picturing my one actual friend who's Greek. Her kid is about the same age as my kids, like right in the middle. And she's just like the sweetest angel you've ever met in your entire life. And they like to have a good time. That is so cool. That's so good. I'm here for it. I'm ready. I'm ready for some clean air, some vibes. And then we have some baklava, baklava? Baklaar? I can see how you would mix those up. I want to tell you too, cool beach town in before I get you to plug your spot what I want to eat. get you to answer the lightning round of questions, I wanted to tell you, and this is for everybody listening too, two of the best supplements to help ADHD specifically are Saffron and L tyrosine. I will tell you there are two disclaimers. Saffron has shown really, really great results, uh, for mood. Right? So, neurodivergent or not. Um, but you have to be very careful that you're getting real saffron, because it's, it's more expensive per pound than diamonds. So, you know, you do your research, make sure you're getting real saffron, you can either get the actual little saffron strings or you can find some good third party tested quality supplements with saffron. And L tyrosine is fantastic, it is a, like a building block for protein, so that's again why a high protein diet is so important for neurodivergence. Um, but with L tyrosine, Be careful because it can cause headaches if you take too much of it or if I can't really, I couldn't tell exactly what Why I was getting the L tyrosine headache. So you may have to not take it every single day. Um, but both of those, like if you have to like harness your hyper focus and get a couple hours of work done, saffron L tyrosine and it would be a laser tractor beam, just straight in, nothing will get in your way. Uh, it's so cool. Like, I do have a lot of respect for pharmaceuticals, uh, particularly in times of crisis, um, but like now that I have the energy and the stability in my life, my business to troubleshoot the more natural options. listen, They're equally if there was a lot, okay, so I interviewed a naturopath doctor, Dr. Alicia, um, on a fellow episode of HERE, and okay, so she, there's this quote from this other doctor, Dr. Megan Walker, okay, and this is what Dr. Alicia, who was on my show, said, Dr. Megan Walker talks about how MDs, right? Medical doctors, not the naturopathic doctors. MDs are really here to make sure you're not dead, right? To walk that line of fine, right? So do you have a disease? No, alright? But they are not here for wellness. They are not here for thriving. Right? So, you know, pharmaceuticals are good for that line of fine. Get you back to some sort of status quo operating homeostasis level and then to really elevate past that and get your self care going and get your cognition where you want it to be because we have so many things in our life from your neurodivergent brain to the Your environment, which you're now seeing the effects of and whatnot, to the people we spent, like there's so many things that are interacting, your mood, your, your brain fog, your fatigue, all of that, your energy. So we really what they if you have the ability to start supplementing, you know, go to a doctor. Get your blood panel done so you can really see where everything is, right? The Dutch test is very important for a neurodivergent person. Um, cause there are so many things that come into play. Like if you have MCAS, uh, which like, if it's also a comorbidity with Ehlers Danlos hypermobile and all this stuff, then you're naturally going to be more inflamed and your body is releasing more histamines. So you have to get a certain kind of B vitamin. It's gotta be methylated. It's gotta be this, like there's so much research you got to do. That, you know, go, go to your regular doctor if you can. Hopefully you can depending on what country you're listening from. Even here in the U. S. It's very difficult, especially if you have medical trauma. Um, but you know, do that part and then start supplementing. You know, you got to do your research. You got to take care of yourself because there's nobody else on this planet that's supposed to take care of you. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And even if there is, right, like a romantic partner or a parent or something, like, is that actually the relationship you wanna have with them? Do you wanna need them? on, that Because you can't take care of Do you want that to be the relationship? Wow! I never thought about it like that. Yeah, I Have Absolutely had to have that heart to heart with myself a couple times in my life and in particular with I'm a lesbian, but I just seems, it's so weird to me, because to me that would be like me being like, I didn't realize I was short. L O L Yeah, they're like, oh, finally you understand, we knew all along. I came out, literally no one was surprised. Everyone was like, yeah, we know. No. Exactly. It was yeah, patting you on the head, we know. I was coming up to them and being like, I'm short. But, but my last romantic relationship with a man, uh, very generous man, very successful man. And he really wanted somebody that was going to compliment his life and fit into his life. And it was a good life. And I realized after like a year or so doing that, that I then needed him. I've been so accommodating that my income had dropped. And I needed him and I was like, and then of course he cheats. And I'm like, Oh, well, you got yourself in an interesting little pickle, didn't you? And that was a very, like for me, an a maturing moment that I needed to be like, I actually don't care what gender I'm dating. I will not financially rely on them and I will not give so much that I have to be in that. Reliance phase, I want to be equal and like, sure there's code, there's, you know, you get in match with the person that's real, but like, I just had that moment of like, I gave it's such a valuable lesson for building a team, too. You don't want to build a team that needs you, because then how the fuck do you go on vacation? How do you sell the business? How do you, what are we talking about here? You can't be, Indispensable and indisposable, like, it's your idea, you're the magic behind all of it, but teach everybody else how to tap into their magic and their abilities and what they're really great at, right? Like, you and I are both of the mindset, and I know this, that stop trying to get good or get better at what you're not naturally good at, and then just hone in and per As much as you can, what you are naturally good at. Right. And so you should be doing that with your team and you should be doing that with everybody in your life. Right. I don't push my teenage kids to be something that they're not. I talked to my 14 year old all the time and he's like, um, so they put me in this class, but it's college prep. And I don't even think I'm really like going to go to college right away. And I was like, yeah, let's get you out of that class. That's a waste of your fucking time. What are you talking about here? Like, no, no way. Not at all. So, you know, really seeing people for who they are and. And like bolstering and helping them become better versions of themselves. Hell yes, hell yeah. And I would just add that, that, like, I think a big piece of what can drive our need to control and insert ourselves in those situations when we don't need to be, is if we've given them too much responsibility too fast, we don't actually trust them. Like I'm a big, big believer in like. Slowly widening the window of tolerance on, on everything, but especially on bringing people into your business, you know, give them a small task, see how it works before you hand over the keys to everything. Um, I feel that way about coaches. I feel that way about all of it, right? Like take a baby step, see how it actually fucking feels. And then it's so much easier to actually trust that person to do what you're hiring them to do. We gotta learn somehow. I tell you what, we all have our learning styles. Mine is personally until I can't take it anymore and I need to change. Oh my God. But that's also like, I think one of the things that makes you so special and so you and so able to be successful is that you are willing to hit the breaking point and actually change. mean, I quit drinking back in November and You know, if you take them, if you have the mindset of everything in my life served me up until the point that it no longer served me, right? So alcohol for me served me for a period of time, and then I realized it wasn't serving me anymore. I'm not the kind of girl that can just have a couple glasses of wine. I want to go hard, right? Um, and I am also, as an entrepreneur, I like waking up at five or six o'clock in the morning, sometimes earlier depending on what my projects are at the time, because I like that quiet time and I like that my brain turns right on when I wake up in the morning, right? So I have two sons, a stepson, two male dogs, and my husband. My stepson does not live here. It's all of these men and we're all my husband and my youngest take an hour to wake up in the morning if they had their way even less than longer than that if they had their fucking way. I don't talk to him yet. They'll tell you when they're ready to be talkable. But my 14 year old and I, once our eyes are open, let's go like we're let's go. Right? So it's so important to to like, evaluate Transcribed Where you're not being very intentional where you're not being very mindful in your life because as an entrepreneur your life and business are enmeshed There's no I don't know any especially if you're neurodivergent I just don't know any other way around it then you being like, all right Well, I can go to lunch with you on Friday, but then I have a client call I have to take in the car afterward, you know, like it's it all flows in together It's one of the reasons we got into business ownership, but so we could do whatever the fuck we want to do You know, but you really have to think about what helps me and alcohol wasn't helping me it actually. Super real. And it's hard, right? Like I have some habits that I know are not serving my business or my overwhelming. And I haven't, I haven't figured them out yet. Like, I think especially with the superpower of heightened self awareness, like we have to be really graceful with ourselves of like, you're not going to make every change at once. And it's okay. Like, uh, and I'm thinking specifically of watching TV before bed. Um, that is going to make you love me more than you love anybody else on this two years, okay? Yeah, All right. So there's a new creator. Well, she's new to me. I don't remember her name or anything. She's on tiktok That's where I found her And she was talking about how and this made me so happy it makes all the sense and I haven't I haven't done all My research to back it up yet, but it just makes so much sense the ADHD brain does not like The quiet, dark stillness, so all of those sleep hygiene habits that everybody says, Don't watch TV as you fall asleep, you know, make it like this, do this. The reason that our brain clicks on as soon as you take away all that stimuli is because your brain is stimming. So if your brain, when you try and go to sleep, in the quiet, without a show or anything, and it starts going, Alright, you either have, you have two options, right? You can start trying to visualize tomorrow and how you're going to have that, or... You can start replaying all the fuck ups you've had in your entire life all the time, right? Or every fight that you would fucking have with those bitches now if you were to run into them at the grocery store. So, instead, if you are the person that falls asleep with a telly on with a show, like an emotional support show... And I've done this, right? Like, I watch my phone in my bed, I have my sleep headphones that are like a headband on, my husband goes to sleep right next to me, but he's a little bit of a snorer, it's okay, I snore too. Um, but I, I watch a show, it's usually Down Abbey, or um, anything else, it's like, I, it's got a lot of episodes, I don't have to worry about shutting off in the middle of it, and like, I don't have to worry about missing anything. But I've tried to, like, I've been falling asleep to that show before, and I'm like, okay, turn on the guided meditation, and as soon as it fucking turns on, Or the rain sounds turn on my brain's like, all right, let's go to work. And I'm like, I should have just left the show on. So try just leaving the show on. I love that. And I think that is like such a compassionate way to look at it. It's like, actually that is overall serving me. And of course it is, otherwise it wouldn't stick. I will, I will say, I do have a couple. Um, like favorite meditations that I fall asleep to very regularly. I'm really good about like shifting from the show. Like, okay, I'm falling asleep. Let me turn on this favorite meditation. And it's like very specific, right? Like not all of them will do it, but then I can fall asleep to that and like be. Hypnotizing myself essentially in my sleep, which I do about you, but I think that like listening to the British people on Downton Abbey to go sleepy, sleepy, or else it's my own hectic, chaotic. Wow. What else are we going to do? Do you want to get up and do something now? Huh? Maybe you gotta pee. It's just like, come on guys. We don't have to be talking all the time up here, but she doesn't listen. It is what it is. The only thing that makes the, the The brain go quiet is the stimulant. I was like, God damn it. And what I'm not going to sleep. So, you know, you got to do what you got to do. But the moral of the story, I'll do a little more research and I'll tag you in the videos, but it makes perfect fucking sense to me right now. Yeah, I think it makes total sense. And I think it's like, one, like, why are we judging ourselves for surviving in what is truly a society that is not built for us on any level, right? But, but two, it's like, okay, if I really don't want to watch you before I fall asleep, let me meet that need another way. Like, I'm, it's not going to go away. I'm not ever going to be the person that just falls asleep. I love it. So take that off the table and Yeah. All right. So Abigail, before we dive into the lightning round of fun ADHD questions, tell everybody where they can find you and how they can work with you and all that good stuff. It will also be linked to the video, but I like. Uh, the auditory presence of it as well. Cool. Well, cool. Well, you can find me on Instagram to talk, um, at Abigail Schippers and that spelling is a little funny, so you can find it in the show announcer. Um, you know, just like pray to your gods that you spell it right, whatever path you choose. Um, and then if it's meant to be, we'll find each other. Um, and so the thing that I want to offer up to your audience is if they're resonating with me and if they're saying like, Oh, I want to have that flow and support my business. I want to know. What I need to do to grow my business, but also how to actually honor the rest that I need and all of that flow. If you want the framework without being forced to be stuck inside of it, you are the person that I want to work with. Um, and so the thing I coach on social media, on copywriting, on content creation, on creating good offers that will sell themselves, please, dear God, more people need this. Um, but the way that, um, The thing that I do that is, uh, like a special skill that I am best at, in my opinion, and frankly, in what people tell me, um, is that I help you take content that's not converting. Maybe it gives you good followers, but it's not converting to clients, and you don't know why everyone's going to the site and not actually clicking the button. Or they go to your profile, but they're not actually clicking the links to find you. Whatever it is, I find where people are getting stuck in your path to working with you, and I fix it. So that is what I am really good at. Finding the problem area and helping you create messaging and content and shifts so that people move through that path. a lot easier. So I'm very, very passionate about this. I believe deeply in working smarter, not harder. And I think a huge piece of that is Seeing somebody that You're like a messaging want has what you want and letting them help you. It is the cheat code to life. Um, yes. Yes. And I get in there. I get in there with the research and the data. And what is the competition doing? And like. What did your soul come alive for and how do we gonna like create this big like perfect mixture of all of those things coming together? It's, I'm super fucking passionate about it. Um, I just love it. I wish you guys could see my smile right now because it just makes me happy thinking about it. Um, but anyways, one, I have a fire anyways that you can do that with me. Um, If you're well established and have the money, the whole process for you and hand deliver it in a beautiful little bow, which is so satisfying. Um, but a lot of people that are maybe establishing their business or just want to get that piece to like, see, um, we do more coaching and consulting. So what I want to offer to your audience, and I really believe that this is super cool is. It's a 90 minute one off session where you can sit down with me, get your questions answered, or get my feedback on your business, your content, whatever is happening with no commitment. And I feel really strongly about having this in my offer suite. Because I want you to be able to actually feel if it's right for you without stepping into a huge commitment right away, if you're not sure, right? So, anyways, those sessions, they're 90 minutes, they're over Zoom. You leave with a clear to do list that is actually doable for you in your current season of life. And clear direction, uh, those Yeah Run don't walk. audience 10 percent off, which I have never done Love it. before. It's going to be so fun! And of course, the code is MELODY10, because why not? How fun! So... These sessions are priced in a way that worked really well for most of my audience. But I do believe that offering a little financial incentive once in a while makes it easier for people that feel stuck to take action. So if you're stuck and you're feeling like there's too many options, choose the one on sale. Try it. See if it resonates. Um, so we'll put the links below for all of that stuff if you want to get into it. But the code is Melanie10. And if it resonates. If it doesn't, don't an angel. Yay. All right. Are you ready for the lightning round of questions? right for you. All right. These are fun and easy. We're not going to overthink them right just of consciousness first and foremost What's your favorite social media platform? Uh, number two, what's the most recent rabbit hole you've gone down? Tick tock. Easy. Oh my God. Um, I don't know if this is the most recent, but the most pronounced, um, is I just got on. Create Tik Tok, the Greek island I'm going to, and I just went deep in like all of the you know, there are playlists on YouTube Music, which is one I listen to, and then I'm sure on, uh, Spotify. Anyways, uh, I love you, Spotify. I love it. Um, the Santorini playlists, those are gonna be real fun and up your alley. Cause did you ever notice how similar the, like the Greek Island music can be to like? The Caribbean islands music like they both use that metal drum. That's like, you know, that sounds like, um, little mermaid. Yeah. So right up your alley. That'll get you. That'll get you in the mindset of it. Okay. What is your. Yeah, I'm I can't wait to see the pictures of you over there and all of your content for being over there. I'm going to live vicariously this summer. Um, is your emotional support show? It's going to be so beautiful. Good question. Um, this, I feel like it's dying out. Like I'm at the end of an era right now. But Mythic Quest, know what that show is. Is that a sci watching that show on repeat for like a year straight. It's, oh, it's ultra nerdy. It's super, it's a show about a team of, um, video game developers. And they're all definitely on the spectrum of some sort and just super nerdy. And it's like this beautiful embrace of like I like it. You know, Silicon Valley is one of Epic at what they do. it helped me really get through a lot of my male trauma. Like, not really wanting to be around men, not wanting to listen to men. I mean, with the exception, you know, I have my sons, I have my husband, I have my male dogs, all that. It's not all men. La la la la la la. Don't come at me in the comments. But like, it really helped me, like, appreciate. The male perspective a little bit more plus everybody on that show is neurodivergently coded. So it's like it's a safe space, you know And they're driven and they're entrepreneurs and they're you know, what I really like about uh, silicon valley is There is like a crisis in every episode with a unforeseen, uh, solution. So it's like, it's a good reminder for us manifestors that like, shit can look like it's on fire, but the firemen are on their way. You don't have to know that the solution's on the way. Like you don't have to see it happening. It's, it's on its way. You don't have to freak the fuck out. It's so good. You're going to love it. Okay. I love that this one's a funny one. It's a two parter. Have you consumed water today? And do you want to share with us your emotional support cup? Excellent. God. I love this podcast so much. I have consumed water and only from my emotional support cup. Um, this is, uh, this is a glass water bottle from Sort of like the Mexico City version of Starbucks, and I immediately was so happy because it's glass and therefore it's the right texture for me to hold, and We love that. You know, the sound of a of someone crushing a water bottle from the right cup. so much rage inside of me. I don't even, it should be illegal to be able to crush those. It's the worst sound in the world. And they're so wasteful, like, and I mean I'm not like, question. Last question before the whole world falls out. What is your current dopamine snack or meal? I Oh, okay. So my go-to, um, I lean really heavy into a protein diet. It makes me so much happier. Um, like stupidly, I don't know why it works so well. I but my, like go-to, I need a do dopamine hit and I need to like, love a croissant. shop and I get a buttery It's so good. Yeah, a croissant makes me think of waking up at my grandparents house in Tampa because my parents would drop us off there for like a week or two at a time. Now that I like think about it, I'm like, I wish I had that with my kids, but whatever. Um, and you know, you just wake up, you'd swim all day. My grandpa, he was a retired air force. Like he started the air force out of the army air corps and was a POW in world war two, all sorts. He's really cool guy. Um, but He would go to McDonald's every morning at like 6 a. m. Cause you know, once in the military, always in the military. And bring home all the McDonald's breakfast. So that was aces. And then Mimi, my grandma, always made sure we had like the containers of fresh croissants from Publix. If anybody knows Publix, it's the best grocery store in the history of the world. And I will pay the premium for Publix. But to always have croissants and you just put it on a paper towel and you throw it in the microwave for 10 seconds. And we wondered why everybody gained 15 pounds every summer. It's like, what are we talking about? Huh? What? Not me. Yeah, it's definitely not a, um, uh, release dopamine. That's what I like about it. option, but man, does it make the dopamine just go crazy. And I actually, like, I don't know how true this is, but I like to tell myself that because it's so high fat, it's giving me less of a glucose spike. The power I think, you know, even And there are studies that have shown people that just thought about working out their arms versus people that actually worked out their arms. The people that just thought about working out their arms saw a 15 percent improvement in their muscle strength and the, like the way it looks. So don't doubt. your brain's ability to do incredibly positive things for your body. It really is. It really is. And with that, sweet angel friend, I'm going to thank you for being on and thank you everyone for listening. And I love you all so much equally and for different reasons. Thank you so much for having me. It is honestly a joy to talk to you anytime, but especially Bye. if we get to nerd out and other people are going to listen to us nerd out. I love it. I love it. Thanks for having