Episode #019 — Unlocking Potential with Sarah Bigman’s Holistic Strategies

Melanie Branch: Hello and welcome to another episode of trailblazers rising where we talk about our stories of triumph and tribulations as neurodivergent entrepreneurs today with me I have a friend who I've been following for quite some time we've been mutuals for a hot minute but I don't understand time it's an illusion so I couldn't tell you how long.

Sarah Bigman who is I'm happy to say a licensed therapist and functional medicine practitioner sarah say hello

Sarah Bigman: thank you for having me I'm so excited to speak with you today

Melanie Branch: I'm so excited to have you on! I have spoken with on this podcast a few other people in the functional medicine space it's a space that I Love so much.

Because here's the thing and it was an it was a doctor that came up with this a medical doctor or maybe she's a naturopath anyways we can go back in other episodes and identify who I'm talking about and a medical doctor especially here in the Western world is trained to keep you on that line of fine right?

You got a big problem you got a cancer you got a broken bone you got to this you got to that that's when we're going to go to a regular medical doctor right but when it comes to actual wellness and quality of life I'm a woman that's 37 I just turned 37 in April and I have personally battled with polycystic ovarian syndrome endometriosis premenstrual dysphoric disorder ADHD.

Now I am I'm coming to understand that I am autistic as well I know that I have CPTSD I know that I have I have hormonal imbalances and I've also been flirting with or experiencing perimenopause right all since my early thirties okay so when it comes to making myself feel as good as possible it's been a challenge and I have been following a lot of.

Creators in the functional medicine space and the holistic space and you know the root cause space for a while and it's really really really helped me so what is it that really sparked your fire to get you not only into the entrepreneurial world but to also to pursue functional

Sarah Bigman: medicine yeah definitely.

I mean even as you're listing off you know the list of diagnoses that I know you have been Managing I've can relate to almost all of them So I think I'm sure as you can relate that sometimes when we have all of this going on in Western medicine is saying there's nothing Wrong with us there's nothing wrong with us.

Your labs look normal That's my favorite phrase that I've heard countless times and I know a lot of the listeners probably can relate to you

Melanie Branch: Normal but our span of normal goes from 10 to 900 Yes

Sarah Bigman: literally great yeah we'll talk about lab reagents in a second but yeah you know it's just I went through a whole period of time you know I had no idea I was going to do functional medicine.

If you had asked me three years ago I would have said I'm going to be a therapist I'm going to work for the government for a long period of time that's what I'm currently doing yeah I know well we'll get to my awakening but but you know that was my plan and then kind of around the same time COVID started coming about I my health just really declined and I went to a lot of doctors.

I went to the hospital countless times I saw so many specialists and no one had answers and my aunt actually had seen a functional medicine practitioner and she was like you should just try this and so I did and they saved my life you know to say the least and I just decided I'm going to learn more about this.

I'm going to learn how to heal myself I'm going to learn how to heal others and then I just saw how it would weave into when I was talking to clients even just unintentionally right like learning about the nervous system and cortisol and stress and then I'd be talking to my clients who have PTSD and we'd be talking about that.

And I was like wow this isn't something I learned in the mental health space it's something I learned in the functional medicine space that I brought in so you know I had my own health journey that brought me to functional medicine which I'm extremely grateful for because I think that whole period of time was just an awakening of oh I need to be listening to my body a lot more than I was.

Melanie Branch: Yeah the that healing and awakening process we get so many Easter eggs to it that we don't realize until looking back like my real awakening happened in April of 2020 height of the shutdown my mom passed away from her 18 month battle with stage 4 head and neck cancer and I literally the first thing I remember thinking after like that Wait anybody who's dealt with a close family member you know declining over pretty rapidly over an 18 month span can identify with us that weight that's off your shoulders of like okay this battle is over.

This person has passed on it sucks and you're sad and whatnot but I initially remember this feeling this thought that came over my brain and I said So what role do I play now mm hmm

Sarah Bigman: yeah and I remember

Melanie Branch: being like wait I remember having a conversation with my husband and saying Okay well if I'm not the daughter that has to fight with the doctors to get the care that we know we deserve while my dad plays his role my sister plays her role my mom plays her role now that this is all gone what am I supposed to be doing?

really catapulted it was a catalyst mm-Hmm for my spiritual awakening and you know I wouldn't change it for anything but like being around western medicine for the that 18 month span of time was really traumatic for me especially just in the scenario I was in we weren't allowed to say hospice my mom refused.

Mm-Hmm so like there was not one point in time in that 18 month time frame frame that any one of us like said okay well you know mom's gonna die from this you know so when we talk about functional medicine I The reason that I really like working with functional medical practitioners too is because they're talking about root cause.

So let's can you please explain root cause because I know you're going to do it so much

Sarah Bigman: better than me sure so when I think of root cause I mean I think one thing that I love that my functional medicine course that I took explained really well is there's never really one root cause and it's actually kind of a disservice to clients to say we will find your root cause because sometimes there isn't one specific one because of how systemic dysfunction impacts one another.

So yeah for example right I know you mentioned that you have hormone imbalances and you know gut health stuff those all correlate because if you kind of break it down if you're not digesting your nutrients for example then you're not getting the nutrients you need to make your hormones and if you're not making your hormones you're not you know balancing your DHA and your stress hormones well enough.

And so of course that has an impact on your ability to wake up and sleep regularly and it's just you know my I'm going to I'm going to plug FDN just to make sure that it's clear that's what I am but they talk about something called metabolic cascade basically which is just that once it starts it just keeps going.

And so yes we can you know pick out root causes such as you know this gut you having issues with your digestion or you're having issues with your hormones or you're not balancing your cortisol but really there's a lot of root causes and that's something as you've mentioned Western medicine just doesn't have the time for I think is a really good way to say it because they're such so focused on acute care.

But you know in my opinion I just think that There should be more collaboration where a Western medicine doctor can say yeah you know what there is no acute cause for this but let me refer you to this functional medicine practitioner who can spend the time spend the energy doing labs doing research and so you know the long way around that is you Root cause is kind of the cascade of how your systems have tried to work together to keep you alive.

I come from a very like we love our body and we talk about it positively approach but it has led to dysfunction over time for for various reasons

Melanie Branch: and you know I was talking to somebody else on this podcast the Worm Queen herself Kim Rogers and we were talking about the level of toxicity that exists in our surroundings and our environment right now if you're not aware of it just from the the scents and the the fake fragrances that are embedded into every part of our life and all this other stuff that if you're not aware of a more natural holistic non Western medicine route.

Then you can't just take herbs and have it work on a toxic overloaded body right so the the real the you know thumbing their nose the western world thumbing their nose at herbal remedies and all this other sort of stuff of course it's not going to work for you if you know you're eating It terribly processed foods highly processed foods with all sorts of stuff in it.

Right and you are on I mean ibuprofen for crying out loud I used to pop ibuprofen anytime you know something hurt just a little bit and now I'm finding out what it can allegedly I don't know if I have to say that now anyways guys don't come after me but what it can do to your gut and wreck your gut and the amount of people listen I'm going to say it because I'm that person the amount of people that are running around America that are.

Severely constipated I was one of them didn't even realize it I was like yeah you know I'm just it was a joke when my mom was alive because she was the only one that I could really like talk to you talk to you about it was literally a joke like Mel if you're going out of town make sure you're taking something.

Cause you know you're really not going to poop if you start traveling and all that sort of stuff cause of biological functions of the gut of like Oh well we never know when we're going to be able to pull over and poop so let's just make it so you don't have to poop and that in all of my research is can greatly impact your hormone imbalances too.

Cause you're not eliminating the

Sarah Bigman: waste yes absolutely and I think on the topic of toxins just to add in there you know I think a lot of times I'll see people especially on TikTok posting videos of like Oh my gosh I just learned all of these things are toxic for me and I'm stressed because how many things am I supposed to eliminate?

Like how am I supposed to live right and it can be super overwhelming so to that I just wanted to you know say that it's about the toxic load more so than it is specific toxins so like for example if you're healing and you're in the process of trying to figure out what works for you and what doesn't and right at this moment you need to keep taking Advil so you don't have a headache every day like Take the Advil.

Yes right especially if you're detoxing or if you're doing anything like take the Advil it's fine it's not going to be the one thing that damages everything but I think it's more about thinking about okay if I'm going to take Advil every day then I'm just going to be a little bit extra careful with like how much wine I drink or you know another toxin breathe how many candles I So it's just about like minimizing and maximizing but I don't think there has to be this stress of like let me eliminate every single toxin that's ever existed cause that's just not realistic.

And

Melanie Branch: you gotta figure out especially as us low dopamine producers and receptor brains I cannot give up my diet soda this this This bitch loves a fresca this bitch loves a diet Dr pepper there's dopamine packed in there they don't list it on the label but it's in there and you know I've I gave up drinking in November cause I've I literally just had this epiphany moment of like this doesn't serve me anymore.

I don't like waking up hungover I don't like waking up and going I don't know if I necessarily remember the last part of the night and that sort of stuff right it just wasn't and I recognized I had this whole aha moment I was like alcohol did serve me up until this point it wasn't the healthiest thing and I wasn't the best drinker in the world.

Nor do I think anybody is but like it was a masking tool for me right and that's a whole other thing that we got to start unpacking when it comes to getting your neurodivergence and your diagnosis and a self diagnosis is just as valid as a medical diagnosis because again guys you wouldn't be thinking.

You know you self diagnose all the time you go to the doctor and you say Hey I think I have a broken arm how do you think you got to that conclusion did it take an x ray no because you know your body better than anybody else right so let's not knock self diagnosis it's really about identifying your neurotype.

right and identifying your nervous system and what triggers you and what sets you off and what traumas you got to work through and actively pursuing that betterment every day right and I wake up every day and this is what I tell my clients too I'm going to be my best me today but that is not in comparison to me from any other day right?

So I don't have to be better than I was yesterday I just have to show up and do the most that I possibly can for myself and my wellbeing and then everything else will fall into place

Sarah Bigman: absolutely yeah I like that approach I think that that's helpful especially I have a lot of clients who will say things very similarly to me like well but yesterday I was you know succeeding times 10 or this yesterday I was getting everything done and today I don't have the motivation.

I think also as women to bring you know bring that into the discussion but you know our hormone cycles are much different than men so to have the expectation that we're going to be able to do everything that a man can do and it but they have 24 hour cycles but ours are much more like 28 to 32 day cycles so to also have empathy for ourselves that it's not a failure on our part if we cannot do as much as we can one day to another and to just have gratitude for that and value that about yourself has been really helpful for me personally and learning how to work with that.

So I

Melanie Branch: agree yeah working with your natural energy cycles has really because you know as much as the next professional that it's more than just your hormone cycles right our energy levels our mood all of that yes it's greatly affected by it and please figure out you know your luteal week especially.

Once I figured out my luteal week and I can clock my luteal week because literally with this PMDD I consider divorce once a month nobody knows like I don't tell them like Hey I'm gonna divorce your ass but like mentally and emotionally and physically it takes such a toll on your mind and body and people just don't talk about it enough right?

And then as soon as my period is over and the bleeding has stopped I have this moment of mini euphoria where I'm like I love my husband so much I love my family so much I'm so lucky I'm so and I'm like Bitch last week you were getting ready to pack your bags and get the fuck out of here! What are we talking about?

So You know when it comes to mental health and functional medicine that I mean those go hand in

Sarah Bigman: hand I believe so yeah but I might be biased but I you're the best one to speak on the subject yes thank you yeah I mean they absolutely do I think that even you know looking at PMDD it's something that I deal with as well.

And I just remember talking to my psychiatrist who was just like Well you know you can take a Prozac at the end of the month or you can you know isolate yourself and like great this is very helpful advice but meanwhile the way that I've been able to manage it is actually by learning about my hormones.

And like one thing I learned was I had a crazy estrogen dominance just out of control estrogen dominance how does one know

Melanie Branch: if they have a crazy estrogen dominance

Sarah Bigman: so I did a lot of lab testing so I actually did a hormone panel on myself that's one benefit of being a functional you can do Dutch.

Dutch is really great I also there's a stress and hormone panel I really like from fluids IQ similar information and you know I saw that my estrogen was completely out of balance with my progesterone and that explains a lot of my symptoms towards the end of the month not to mention my detoxification was having a whole party of itself so I wasn't clearing the estrogen.

But you know that's the answer right the answer is work on my detoxification the answer is work on my estrogen to progesterone pathways and once I started working on that lo and behold my PMDD has mostly cleared up at this point so to have you know Talking about it from the mental health perspective a lot of times they just want to throw a medicine because I mean it will it will put the band aid on.

It will work right like yes if I took a Prozac towards the end of my cycle every month I'm sure I would feel better but as soon as one day I stop taking that for whatever reason it's going to come back full force so I would rather you know we talk about root issue or root cause we need to address the root cause right which was that I was having an imbalance and you know from my perspective it was stemming from years and years of chronic stress that threw off my cortisol and then everything else just kind of cascaded so.

Yeah yeah I think it's I think it's a disservice to clients to not consider root cause when you're looking at mental health absolutely

Melanie Branch: absolutely so what are some of my favorite stress relievers and my favorite ways of managing stress right I run two businesses I run my coaching business I run the Neuro Spicy Academy.

I'm second in command over there shout out to everybody over there and you know I have sons I have teenage sons I have two male dogs I have a husband and I have Some semblance of a social life even if that is hanging out with people online at the Neurospicy Academy most of the time but whatever it's fine.

It is what it is and self care is I like I am act I am actively seeking out a different word for what I do and what I require my clients to do because self care everybody's just like eh it's a bad day and I'm like no literally I'm talking about Personal care so I'm like did you shower today no I didn't have it in me to shower.

Did you do baby wipes in the PTA yeah I got baby wipes in the PTA cool self care done right making sure that I take my makeup off at night right making sure that I tell my family members that I love them so much and I'm so thankful for them that's self care making sure that if I am not in the fucking mood to deal with people right?

Maybe it is that luteal week maybe I am real crusty my business partner and my husband have agreed that they know when it's coming to and they're like Oh okay how are you today I'm like I probably need a snack huh like it's it's like it's really a life changing a week for me and like just saying I have to just watch shows in my bed with my weighted blanket in a dim room because I don't have anything else in me.

That is self care to me so what are some of your tips for managing stress

Sarah Bigman: yeah I think that you know like you said self care is kind of a loaded question these days especially because you know it's funny because I had a client who literally just yesterday said to me you know I've been watching all the videos online and I'm I'm taking walks I'm journaling and I don't feel any better you know?

And my response to that was well self care looks different for everybody right and the I think the best way to figure that out and the way I figured it out for me was to align with my values so there's something it's a therapy intervention called ACT but with it there's a values exercise you can do.

And it's where you answer various questions you know I can give this to you or post it online at some point but you answer questions and you determine what your top five or six values are and so for me like I value alone time and relaxation I value time with my family I value listening to music or like learning about new things is kind of one of my values.

And so to align your self care with your values is extremely important not to align them with you know the person on TikTok whose videos you're watching values or your friend's values or even your therapist's values I tell my clients all the time I'm giving you examples feel free to not take them.

You know like I'd rather you take my ideas and then run with them and figure out something that works for you then copy exactly what I'm suggesting yeah they're they're

Melanie Branch: used for inspiration right

Sarah Bigman: yeah absolutely so so yeah so for me self care kind of looks like you know making sure I'm doing something that aligns with my values every single day.

Cause I've noticed the times I feel the worst are the times that I am trying to align myself with other people's values so especially like my boss's values or you know yeah yeah so so I think that's that's my definition of self care

Melanie Branch: and you know we talked for a little bit maybe it was even before we started about nervous system regulation.

And here's the thing when I was very dysregulated and I didn't know about nervous system regulation or anything like that fight or flight fawn or freeze all that sort of stuff we're really just running around powered by a trauma drive until you have this moment in time where you go wait what the fuck is happening?

But I remember when I was really dysregulated I wouldn't want to go for a w a l k I can't say the word because my dogs are But I wouldn't want to go for one because my brain was like well What do you do you just walk and then you get far from home and you break your leg and then what are you supposed to do right like if you're not In a regulated space your brain is not going to say Hey like we have this negativity bias your brain is not going to say Hey get on your bicycle and go ride for 10 miles and possibly get hit by a car and possibly do this and possibly that and da da da da and la la and get sweaty and then you'll have to stop and then you'll have to do it.

If you're not in a good space It's not going to sound good so first and foremost you know before we can even address mindset we've got to get you regulated

Sarah Bigman: exactly and what I always say to my clients is those thoughts like you just described all of those of like you know if you walk far from home then what's going to happen and all of that that's all based in feeling unsafe is what I as I go into depth with my clients about this is those those questions are clues that you're not feeling safe right now which means you need to.

Ground or regulate first so you know there's different areas of coping skills there's area different areas of grounding skills walking journaling all those things great once you're regulated yeah but if you are in a place where your brain is going you're not safe you're not safe you're not safe.

Journaling and walking aren't going to help you if anything they're going to bring up more stressors because you're just adding to the current pile so you know I think it's important to also differentiate between grounding skills and coping skills to me walking journaling are coping skills and then there's grounding skills which are more based in nervous system regulation based in making sure your body genuinely feels safe where you're at.

Melanie Branch: Yeah you know I am not much for traditional meditation I am I love a walking meditation a moving meditation a guided meditation all that sort of stuff but what I really love is like breathing exercises and bringing my awareness to my breath because I am a high strung bitch I'm not going to lie I am.

And I don't know if it's ADHD I don't know what it is but if I have energy it's wound tight and it's ready to go all the time right so I will literally throughout my day catch myself and go wait oh yeah you haven't taken an actual like breath in a hot minute right I've been working a lot with mouth tape at night too on the nights that I remember.

And the the research that's out there on our breathing like us mouth breathers especially if you can't get your kid and get him to stop mouth breathing it changes the shape of your face oh wow I didn't know that so like breathing if you can't meditate there's nothing wrong with you if you can't meditate or if you find meditation really really boring.

Right our brains is ADHD brains I have to fall asleep with Downton Abbey on every night because it's just the right level of stimulation for my brain to shut off and not start like replaying every fucking mistake I've ever made in my life so like figure out what works for you but breathing has helped me so so so so much.

So when you are in that dysregulated moment to ground what do you like to do

Sarah Bigman: I am really big I talk about this a lot on TikTok and Pooper like probably why I should talk about this all the time but I like the 5 exercise are you familiar with that one

Melanie Branch: I know about 1 to get out of bed because of Mel Robbins.

Sarah Bigman: Oh yes okay that's a little similar but different so 1 is where you actually name you focus on your sentences so five things that you you know I this is the order I do it and you can do it any order five things you see four things you feel physically on your body not emotionally three things that you hear.

Two things that you smell and one thing that you taste and so usually if I'm dysregulated that's my first thing I go to because I am always lost in my head especially ADHD I am lost in my head in the past future present I'm not here and so if I can use that skill to just really quickly go Oh there's my you know there's my computer.

There's my phone there's my cat there's my everything I'm okay I'm safe I start there and then usually move into some kind of questions like making myself say okay why am I safe right now and I'm safe because I'm just at my house my door is locked my fiance's in the other room I have my cell phone right here if I needed to call anybody.

You know I despite the thoughts in my head I am safe where I currently am at and I try to bring back awareness like you were saying to my current state so those are my kind of quick go tos and then if those aren't working I go to cold exposure

Melanie Branch: so I'm so glad you said that my spirit guides have been screaming about cold exposure.

I do the cold water at the end of the shower I do not have a cold tank or anything it is probably my next major purchase though if I'm not gonna lie because I find cold exposure easier than heat exposure and like a sauna or an infrared so like I've never been able to sit in a sauna or a steam room at the gym.

It makes me feel like I'm gonna die like I just walk in I'm like like every cell in my body I'm like no and I'm a Florida girl I don't mind the summer heat I mean I don't love it but like I don't mind 85 degrees in the sun baby but like walking into this room my brain just goes you're why are you doing this?

No no but the cold exposure I've also noticed so at the end of my shower every shower It's cold water for as long as I can fucking take it right make sure a good song is playing and you want to get it on your forehead you want to get on your chest you want to get on your back you want to get on your arms.

But some days it's a lot easier than others like today I was only cold at maybe 10 seconds and I was like That's it! But I turned it off do we think it has to do with our hormones

Sarah Bigman: that's a good question I mean I think it has to do with hormones I also think it has to do with stimulation for me it's about overstimulation.

So as far as my neurospiciness I am very much in the camp of I have sensory processing disorder and I know that's no longer a DSM diagnosis however it is the best way to describe my neurodivergence in my opinion what are they

Melanie Branch: diagnosed as now

Sarah Bigman: then it just falls under the category of like a criteria for autism or ADHD in fact I don't even know if it's under the ADHD criteria but it is definitely under the autism criteria.

Oh yeah karumba of course yeah don't even well I mean we can get started on the DSM but ugh no

Melanie Branch: no that'll be another episode trust me I don't want to get that fired up today

Sarah Bigman: okay but yeah so for me it's just about sensory right so if I'm already having a sensory overload I'm going to be way more overstimulated to cold it's hot temperature.

And I use that a lot of what term I use a lot is called biofeedback clues so it's you know sometimes we're not able to be connected with our body because we're so in our head and so sometimes I don't even realize I'm dysregulated until I go Oh my God I'm having a hot flash right and then my hot flash tells me Oh I'm dysregulated.

Oh I'm having an overstimulation to tactile right now or temperature and that's how I know to then go do grounding skills so it's not always like people will often say like I don't even realize that I'm dysregulated I don't even realize I'm you know overstimulated and we can actually use our body clues to then.

give us that information we don't have to always have logic first it can actually be just like taking taking a scan of our body and going Oh well I'm really this sweater I'm noticing how much it's on my body right now you know and that's a sign you're over regulated so to answer your original question yeah I think cold exposure depends on the day because of the stimulation

Melanie Branch: factor.

How often do you use cold

Sarah Bigman: exposure I used to use it a lot there was a period of time that I was doing it every day like you were saying at the end of the shower was my go to and then it just sort of Uh let me correct

Melanie Branch: you that's every shower that's not necessarily every day we are moving into the summer so it'll probably be every day.

Okay but over the wintertime for mental health yeah no judgment everyone no no

Sarah Bigman: judgment at all part of my stimulation this is actually interesting but I part of my sensory processing is I'm very sensitive to my own smell and feelings like that's part of my neurospiciness so like if I feel greasy I have to shower immediately.

Yeah if I feel like I can smell my body odor shower immediately so I'm on the other end of that like I will take multiple showers in a day but I used to do it every shower and now I kind of use it more as the more you practice regulation tools the more your body gets used to them so my body now knows 1 means take a breath you know breathe in calm you're okay you're safe.

But it used to be kind of my I don't want to say last go to but if I tried all my coping skills and it wasn't working time to go take a cold shower time to take an ice pack out and put it on my chest

Melanie Branch: yes there have been many a evening where I take an ice pack to my bedroom and I place it usually around my neck and my chest and what not and I just lay there with my weighted blanket and I have my special lights back there.

Cause here's the thing and this is something that I noticed I used to be in the restaurant industry for many many many years and you know when your job requires you to run around you know I've walked 30 000 steps on a double before I remember looking down at my Fitbit and being like Jesus what is happening?

And so when I went from that to working from home exclusively and sitting down primarily now My body doesn't register sitting as rest so when I would try and power down after a day of working in my office we have a tiny 1300 square foot historic home that we love so much but like everything's right here right?

So if I would just go from my computer to the couch and sit there and watch a show with my husband or scroll on my phone while he watches a show my body was still like okay what are we doing and I had to start actually being horizontal and laying down to relax so now I'm like well we're going to go all fucking out and I have.

Pretty lights that are like twinkly and I have special little candles that look like they're going but they're not actually really candles They're fun battery operated I have my weighted blanket like it's gonna be a total Zen experience And that's all because I was able to like tap in and say wait a minute.

What is what is happening here why am I not feeling my best why am I not feeling rested and whatnot and with all of my Taurus placements let me tell you how important it is that this bitch gets her fucking rest

Sarah Bigman: Yeah definitely I understand that and I think too sometimes people will say to me it's hard to feel safe enough to even like come home to my body.

And so I just want to say for any listeners who are like listening that's not like great I would love to do that but I don't even feel safe enough to exist in my body like that's okay and that's a place to start too so to not you know Put extra stress I always say the last thing we want to do in general is put extra stress on ourselves no matter what that is whether it's literally through eating foods we're not supposed to be eating because we have sensitivities or whether it's through being around people who don't you know build us up and make us feel confident or whether it's through our own negative self talk like the world is stressful enough.

So to remove any extra layers of stress is just what is

Melanie Branch: needed yeah absolutely you know working through and identifying the traumatic things that we've experienced growing up and whatnot right the one thing that really made trauma understandable for me the thing that really made it hit home and it was the severity of the trauma you experience has nothing to do with the incident itself.

It has everything to do with how alone you felt when you experienced it

Sarah Bigman: mm hmm absolutely yeah I absolutely agree with that and I think that it's important and people I have a lot of clients who will minimize their trauma to me and you know it's it's awful to hear as a therapist because I'm like if you're minimizing it to me I can't imagine how you're talking to yourself about it.

Melanie Branch: So we're conditioned to minimize our trauma that's one of the biggest things that I've been working through too to be like we don't have to compare traumas right your big changing life event compared to my big changing life event are not comparable because we were raised in two different scenarios environments and families.

Sarah Bigman: Right and have you heard of the little T versus big T trauma

Melanie Branch: as well no maybe I don't know refresh me

Sarah Bigman: okay I also don't even know who made this up so if you know someone listening knows feel free to let us know but I know Dr gabor Matei talks about it I don't know if he originated it but there's this idea that you know there's big T traumas which is what people typically think about you know like someone passing away a disaster a car accident war those are you know big T traumas and Those are ones that are like more societally accepted.

Like people will say oh yes you were in a car accident of course you have PTSD of course you know they're more accepted I guess and then there's a lot of little t traumas that people don't think about as often or are the ones that people end up invalidating themselves around and that's a parent who every day told them that they weren't Wise enough strong enough capable enough.

It's the parent who didn't hug you it's the sibling who made fun of you It's the person who bullied you at school right those things add up those things matter and all of them combined probably make more than a big tea trauma And so I think to understand it in that way can be very valuable because like I said There's enough invalidation in the world that we don't need to keep doing it to

Melanie Branch: ourselves.

I'm gonna start calling my trauma little T there you go be like okay little T come on

Sarah Bigman: yeah if it validates it go for it seriously

Melanie Branch: and that's so funny that you're talking about invalidation invalidation when I write my book when I do it for the memoir and I write my book it's gonna be called Validated because Mm-Hmm.

You know invalidation is my life's lesson to learn and you know by discovering my intuition and my psychic powers and whatnot and being able to validate all of these ideas that I get and like my spirit guides even say when I'm scrolling social media my spirit guides say them and I go okay so I'm working with them and I go yeah and I go in what capacity?

And they won't tell me and I say when and they go we're not going to tell you that would take all the fun out of it but I very clearly know who I'm going to be working with yeah yeah just not in what capacity so whether they turn into clients or whether they turn into JV partnerships or anything like that but I I do get a very clear message them.

So when it comes to cause we were talking ahead of time about you know mindset and spirituality and all that sort of stuff you know I am a firm believer that we have spirit guides and that you know we exist to grow and learn and earth is like the hardest planet so of course I'm going to take all the fucking help I can get.

I'm going to have my spirit guides tell me through music or feeling or whatever it is it possibly is every message that they can so that I'm not just out here raw talking life trying to figure it out on my own mm hmm

Sarah Bigman: yeah so

Melanie Branch: what are your who drives you who makes you feel like like the universe all that sort of shit?

Sarah Bigman: Yeah I think this is tough because I think I've seen so many debates back and forth a little bit about spirituality and especially how it connects to mental health with you know Some people say spirituality you're saying that really helps you really drives you it really helps you sort of you know Feel motivated and and stay on course and I think that's wonderful And I think for me what motivates me is definitely I have a belief in the universe personally I actually was raised Jewish.

So I do have some Jewish background That it still is part of my religious beliefs and I think you know there's a piece of it that I'm always really careful about it's more so whatever my clients are believing in is what I will move forward with so if I have a client who comes in similarly to how you were speaking when it's like well I really believe in the universe and spirit guides and that's who motivates me.

Great that's the topic we'll talk about but I also can see how that can be really invalidating for some like some people especially I've seen on Tik Tok think the idea of that is really harmful like there'll be like okay well I didn't choose this life you know like I didn't choose such hardship and that feels more invalidating to them.

Okay bye so I'm not sure if I should keep going because you seem to have left.

Melanie Branch: So I'm gonna call AT& T when we're done

Sarah Bigman: oh no yeah I was like in the middle of talking and then I was like I don't know if I should keep

Melanie Branch: going right now I know exactly where we left off and we are recording again okay so I was talking about my spirit guides and then I said what is it oh there's a lot of feedback from your mic.

Hang on

Sarah Bigman: sorry yeah me.

Better

Melanie Branch: are you by wind

Sarah Bigman: I just moved it during the time we were gone better?

Melanie Branch: Yes okay so you were talking about I said you know is it the universe spirit guides what is it and then you were talking so there you go pick up where we left off my sweet

Sarah Bigman: angel friend okay I was just saying that I think I agree with you like my personal beliefs are very much based in spirituality and you know I I believe in the universe very much so.

But my caveat to that is that I think as a therapist it's a hard place to land sometimes because I never want to make people feel invalidated by my personal beliefs and so you know in session for example I it's not something I bring up at least not at this point in time when I have a private practice and I'm able to like you know explain that to clients it might be a little bit different.

But you know I very much go with whatever the clients are bringing to me so if a client does come in I do have some clients who are more spiritual and they'll say yeah my you know you know the universe told me this my spirit guides told me that's great we incorporated into session but I have other clients who would definitely feel more invalidated by that because I do understand that from a you know trauma based and trauma informed perspective.

Saying I chose this life saying I chose this hardship doesn't doesn't land with everyone and in fact can make people feel more invalidated so you know yes I believe in spirit team spirit guides universe but I think that it's important as a therapist to not really like dive into that too much just so that my clients don't feel any sort of way about

Melanie Branch: it.

Yeah and you know I've had that question presented to me a lot of times as you know a business mindset coach who does I talk about you know seeing things in a positive light I talk about rewiring your brain in a way that that negativity bias isn't going to take over and how we can get out of rumination right?

These are all standard settings for an ADHD brain especially and if you are in the throes of feeling like shit and everything's against you and why am I doing this and la la Yeah you're not going to be okay with the idea that like your soul signed up for this life for sure it's once we can get you into a more balanced state and perspective of like Maybe everybody isn't out to get me.

Maybe the universe doesn't want me to fail maybe I was rushing through life maybe I was on autopilot maybe I was living and trying to fit into these Standard box norms that I don't fit into and trying to make myself neurotypical and this and all these other things and of course I'm not gonna be happy of course things aren't gonna fucking work out for me when I feel like I'm Slamming my head against the wall all day every day to be what people want right?

So when it comes to just trying to be your best just trying to feel I really just want people to know Just try and feel good every day do let's try and do whatever it is We can to just energetically and mentally feel as good as possible because what you're gonna come up upon oh my god

Sarah Bigman: I don't think our spirit guides want us to be talking about this topic That'll be a thing for you to find when you're Yes,

me again.

Okay Google.

Melanie Branch: Okay so we're back ay carumba I don't even know what's going on so!

Sarah Bigman: I don't think we can talk about

Melanie Branch: spirituality Melanie I guess not so let's just get to the good shit so Sarah why don't you tell everybody where they can find you and follow you on socials

Sarah Bigman: yes so right now the best place to follow me would be on TikTok.

My at is S B B I G S S B Bigs and I am working I'm in the process of getting my business set up I know there's a couple people probably listening who's like I've been asking to work with her what is going on and I want to let you know I am not avoiding you I just have ADHD and it has been really hard to set up a business while working full time.

But I am working on it and I will answer all of the inquiries as soon as possible so I appreciate that

Melanie Branch: we're going to make sure everything is linked up here as well where they can watch it and they can view it so are you ready for the lightning round of fun ADHD questions yes absolutely okay now you don't really need to overthink any of these you know just let us know what you got going on.

First and foremost what is your favorite social media platform

Sarah Bigman: tikTok easy that's it everybody knows that yeah I

Melanie Branch: will say I have been flirting with LinkedIn oh it's not sexy or fun it's not at all it's not at all none of it it's what I figured out for me why LinkedIn feels so skeevy is because LinkedIn and this is another person that came up with this concept.

LinkedIn is the networking party that you go to right like it's the networking event that you go to everyone knows they're there just to rub elbows and meet new people everybody knows this is just all about here's what I do what do you do la And that's when everybody repents I don't fucking care.

It's not fun I don't care I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't this what are we talking about here right so it's it's it's difficult and like we have I'm friends with Leah does LinkedIn on all the socials right she's incredible and amazing and fantastic at what she does and then I'm also friends with another creator who's actually coming to the Neuro Spicy Academy to help us with LinkedIn.

I had her on the podcast Katie I forget her last name 'cause I'm terrible with remembering people's names but literally the standard or what you're supposed to be doing on LinkedIn is commenting on people's posts and commenting on people's comments on people's posts and like try like literally it's all about the art of connection and the art of this and the art of that.

And it's literally just getting to the point where it's like none of this feels real I

Sarah Bigman: was just going to say does that not feel fake though because that feels a little

Melanie Branch: fake it feels so fake so TikTok still reigns for me alright second question and this can require a little bit of thought okay what is the most recent rabbit hole you have gone down?

Sarah Bigman: Hmm mTHFR gene mutation absolutely I am deep in that rabbit hole but now I don't know if you are frozen or not are you there okay

Melanie Branch: okay I know I'm here

Sarah Bigman: okay so I said that my rabbit hole is MTHFR gene mutation have you looked into that at all because I am deep in that rabbit hole

Melanie Branch: bitch! I've been talking about that for a minute and it popped up in my head earlier while we were talking.

I was like no don't talk about it no you don't want to be a weirdo yes! MTHFR everything now every time I grab any any sort of supplement I'm like methylated is it methylated I don't know is it

Sarah Bigman: methylated I am so into that rabbit hole right now like everything I talk about my poor friends and family they're like okay now everything relates back to that so I'm like but it might it might.

So I'm very deep into the just kind of learning about how that relates to I mean ADHD autism depression anxiety they're connecting

Melanie Branch: it to post the depression you get after a baby postpartum! They're connecting it to postpartum! Because if you have the MTA and you can't methylate you're you're you're and they make you do all the folate while you're oh my god.

Yeah I mean that's a deep rabbit hole I'll jump in with you are we jumping

Sarah Bigman: in are we jumping into it I'm

Melanie Branch: I think we're already in there I'm in there digging us deep we're being like wait what is this wait what is that yeah yeah it's a really

Sarah Bigman: really The summary I think for anyone listening would be just that it deeply impacts your ability to detox if you have this mutation as well as convert certain nutrients to the bioavailable form and so not having again not having nutrients as a basis for like a lot of very important things and then also not being able to detox is anything toxins used up enzymes used up nutrients right?

It's just obviously going to impact the body so yeah the more that I've been treating I learned I do have the MTHFR gene mutation the C6771 and the more that I've been treating it I take methylated folate I take detoxification supplements I feel like a new person and so I know that might not be the case for everyone but it is it is my rabbit hole of the of the time.

Yes I

Melanie Branch: love that we fully support that rabbit hole alright third question what is your emotional support show what do you put on when you gotta decompress and you can't take on any new relationships or new shows new

Sarah Bigman: Girl I don't know why I've always that's very millennial of me but it's New Girl for sure.

Melanie Branch: I am a millennial and I tried to get into New Girl and it hasn't taken yet but I will say I like to be late to the party when it comes to a show and I like to come to a show without any preconceived notions and whatnot to it right like I just found Downton Abbey in these past two years I'd never watched it before.

I tried but it never took the same thing with Parks and Rec I didn't start watching Parks and Rec until 20 19 hmm

Sarah Bigman: yeah yeah so but no something's very comforting about Jess and her roommates to me

Melanie Branch: and her autistically coded characters that might be it I think

Sarah Bigman: you described it there's

Melanie Branch: a lot of neurodivergence on that show that's for sure.

Alright number four is a two parter and as a healthcare provider I hope I know your answer I know your answer have you drank any water today and do you want to share your emotional support cup with the class there we go done and

Sarah Bigman: done

Melanie Branch: done and done alright and then the last question I have for you is What is your current dopamine snack or meal?

What do you go to that you know is going to make you feel good

Sarah Bigman: I'm having a huge fixation with my breakfast right now I discovered this vegan butter because I am dairy and gluten free and it is it's you know country crock bread butter like the classic country crock they made a vegan version and it tastes the same to me.

And so I've just been putting on everything I'm like making pancakes putting that on it toast putting it on it anything I can put that on is a okay with me so that is my dopamine current fix

Melanie Branch: I love that okay I was vegan for a while and now I am a vegan that breaks for cheese and butter

Sarah Bigman: I would love to break.

It's it is not by choice for me personally it's by health so absolutely but what are you eating right now

Melanie Branch: my obsession is cheese toast I'm not allowed to make a grilled cheese I haven't been able to make a grilled cheese ever I I walk away and it burns it just doesn't doesn't matter what it is but I can make a mean cheese toast.

And I'm really into making so like last night I made a soup kind of a hodgepodge with these garlic and herb tofu bites that I have edamame corn garbanzo beans cause they're my favorite and some carrots because I had it and I was like let's throw all that shit in there oh and potato because I had to use the last of the potatoes.

So you know just real like alright I feel like I'm getting a lot of vitamins I feel like I'm getting a lot of nutrients in this yeah it sounds good it's not heavy I have that With my sensory processing I forget what it is it's like pro separation or whatever it is where I'm unsure of my bodily feelings and stuff and my least favorite feeling one of my least favorite feelings in the world is being overly full.

Mm hmm I don't like to eat until the point where I'm like why did I like it's just it really really I hate that feeling I'd rather be hungry than feel that way so I like a soup because you can just eat a little bit and then be like okay maybe we want more and that sort of thing so definitely.

Sarah Bigman: It sounds good you should send me that

Melanie Branch: recipe yeah yeah yeah and my husband he looked at me out because I told him I was like I'm gonna make soup tonight I call it magic soup because I just put a lot of really good energy and anytime I make a soup he just loves it and laps it up but he's a Gen X or they're kind of easy to please when it comes to food I swear.

But he was like Oh it's going to be so good and so he looks at me and he goes is this like a recipe you found or is this like you coming up with shit and I said I looked at a couple of recipes and then I came up with something and he was like okay alright so fair enough yeah it's good you put enough garlic and salt and pepper and paprika and onion and something I'm gonna eat it.

It'll be fine

Sarah Bigman: yeah sounds good

Melanie Branch: to me yeah awesome well I want to thank you so much for being on the podcast today you're a real trailblazer and do you want to leave our listeners and our watchers with any last piece of advice

Sarah Bigman: hmm last piece of advice I think I'm going to go for a loop here but if you haven't explored parts work and you're interested in deeper self help and self guidance I would highly recommend looking into inter inter it's Ifs or parts work but it is something that I am also it's another rabbit hole I've been in lately and it's a very helpful intervention and I think it can be extremely validating.

We're talking a lot about validating the self and I think that's a really good place to start so if you're listening and you're like I just don't know where to even start with my mental health that is my recommendation

Melanie Branch: yeah all right thank you so much for being on and I love you all equally and for different reasons and we'll talk soon.

Okay bye

Sarah Bigman: thank you.