Episode #026 — Empowering Change: Tay Daniels on Creating a Life You Love

Melanie Branch: Welcome to another episode of trailblazers rising with me You're so graceful guest melanie and i'm so excited to have this guest on today I have been following tay We've been mutuals on social media for at least a year but y'all know I don't understand time So probably even longer than that and she is a Fantastic amazing incredible coach in her world.

And I will have her tell you all about herself so that I don't do it in justice so Tay welcome to the scene tell everybody who you are and what you

Tay Daniels: do hello thank you for having me I'm so excited we have been connected for such a long time and I'm I'm so excited to finally sit down with you and talk because I feel like we have so many things to share with the people but a little backstory on me we'll make this long story short because if you are like us neurodivergent you don't have time to sit and listen to the rambles and all the things.

So started my first business in 2016 I was seven months pregnant I had 100 in my bank account I am not rich or wealthy I didn't come from a wealthy family I'm not like a trust fund baby or none of that I just took a risk to start a business be at home with my baby and I grew that virtual assistant business to an agency in 2018 stepped into coaching in 2019 and now I have Two children and I'm a multi six figure agency owner and a multi six figure life and business coach certified certified life and business coach.

Melanie Branch: My goodness you that second baby is real fresh and new how old's your new baby she

Tay Daniels: is she's two months as of two days ago

Melanie Branch: oh he's still squishy we love the squishy babies yay he doesn't have an opinion yet

Tay Daniels: right yes I have two daughters and so one is six and a half and very sassy and opinionated.

And this one is a fellow Taurus just like me so they're interested to see what happens there

Melanie Branch: I'm a Taurus too! Okay so two daughters yes so you're what's your oldest daughter she's a

Tay Daniels: Sagittarius ugh sorry and I'm I know I'm a Sag Moon so we but her and I still

Melanie Branch: go at it absolutely sagittarius is either it's either made in heaven or hell.

There's no in between when it comes to us either getting along or not getting along yes it's so exciting oh my goodness so new baby and a a you said six year old yeah so obviously you have all the time in the world to just sit around and work and DM people on Instagram and hey girl and do all of that right?

Oh my god yeah

Tay Daniels: so much time

Melanie Branch: or no your platform you're very big on make more work less right work less make more and it's that is such a mind fuck for so many of us when we're either starting our business maybe we're restructuring our business I just restructured mine and I thought it was going to take 20 minutes and it took seven months.

Tay Daniels: Yeah exactly

Melanie Branch: and I was like what is happening so as a fellow neurodivergent woman business owner multiple businesses what has been the most transformational way for you to make more and work less

Tay Daniels: so interestingly enough it has come in sections so in the beginning I was a hustle till you die kind of girl because I needed that bag.

I needed that money I needed that check so I wasn't homeless I and I at the time was a single mom and so I didn't have a choice right I had to hustle hustle hustle but that also stemmed from having an independent mother having a mom who was working three jobs my entire life and so that's all I knew that's all I've seen.

And I've always thought that it and I was always told if you wanted to be successful you wanted to make a lot of money you have to work harder you have to work more so I adopted that very quickly through my business things happen right like life I just had another baby so I've kind of been forced to slow down.

I married now remarried so again forced to slow down because I had to take care of life and as I did that my business started to transform and pivot and I started to make more money when I was when I had given myself and my business space we'd taken space from each other and I was like okay this I see.

Right and so actually after just having my last daughter it's even come more full circle because I have a very clingy baby she only wants me I can hear her upstairs crying right now with my husband which sends me into a full spiral she only wants me and so I've had to completely pivot my business because I homeschool my oldest to work very specific hours and days.

And that's when I work and the rest of it is for being a wife being a mom because I don't want to put my kids in public school because I can and because my business is to the point now where if I were here all day I would just nitpick and I would change things and I would spin and indecision and I would be in a hustle mode and so in that what I what I found was that every single time I made these pivots and transitions which sometimes were out of my control it felt like it was like I have to do this even though I don't want to I don't like to I work better I work more effectively I work with what I have and I've ended up making a lot more money.

Yeah

Melanie Branch: so there's this thing that keeps coming up every time I'm talking to my business partner over at the Neuro Spicy Academy Christina with the blue hair we love you shout out we're constantly talking about our avatar right our client avatar and the different levels that they're at and how that grows and changes and refines.

Right and there's 1 thing that has always proven true about it my ideal clients who it is that I work with who I best serve and that is that they are ultra independent is their fucking trauma response no I will bring every grocery bag in in one trip because there's something wrong with two trips apparently.

And they're resourceful and resilient right whether that's because of CPTSD ADHD autism any of the alphabet soup that makes the vast arrays of neurodivergence so wonderful but literally if you are somebody that is not inherently driven from within to achieve something that has not yet been done both in your life and your family whatever it is because you know that it's just gotta fucking be better than this then I'm not interested in working with you.

Tay Daniels: I am the same way because this is the thing about me is I don't have time to waste I don't want to waste my time I don't want to waste your time I have shit to do kids to raise a family and I want success but I want you to be successful but if you don't show up to the table when I lay that out for you it is really frustrating because I I don't have the patience to be honest if we're being really really honest and transparent here Like we're here for success.

We're here for a lifelong this isn't like a fun to do kind of thing for me so yeah it's

Melanie Branch: not this isn't just Oh you're a little business right I saw a TikTok the other day that said the four stages of support when you're starting a business and being an entrepreneur on the first one was like ooh don't call yourself an entrepreneur.

That's cringy and the second one is like Oh how's your little business going and the third one is Oh my God you're doing so well I've always supported you and the fourth one is Hey do you want to have coffee and I can bend your ear bitch get out of here I'm going to remember all of you that abandoned me when I needed help the most.

And I'm going to remember all I'm going to remember who abandoned me when I needed them the most so that they are not around in my motherfucking joy and success and happiness there ain't no room for you at that table

Tay Daniels: exactly can we pause for like two seconds my baby is screaming I'm so sorry you're

Melanie Branch: good.

This is why we have a team that does editing in fact can I even pause it I can add a clip there we go mark that this is where we're going to want to make a little edit.

I am going to my messages from clients while I wait.

Silence.

It's nice that this is my first interview back after my little mini vacay oh

Tay Daniels: my gosh I'm so sorry

Melanie Branch: no I made a little note of it and then I was talking to my editors and I was like I'm gonna pause it here or I'm gonna mark the clip and then I'll just talk to you guys about what I need to talk about.

Oh my

Tay Daniels: god I'm so sorry like you're my first interview or like first thing thing back since I've had her everything else has been recorded or I'm just like with my students and they know and I have co coaches with me so if I have to step away it's not a big deal you're my first like thing and I literally today was like I feel like I scheduled things too soon back.

She's just not ready and Everyone else then becomes at my mercy which is super fucked up so I'm so

Melanie Branch: sorry you know my kids are very close in age my kids are 20 months apart so right now they're 14 and 13 and then soon it'll be 15 and 13 and they were very different babies yes and it's such a like my second my youngest he was a handful.

Like if his toe hurt the whole world of the neighbors would know I literally thought people were going to call the cops on me for how loud he would scream and cry like even the day he came out I was in my hospital room like what's wrong with this one nobody else's is this loud what's going on here?

Yeah so I feel you I feel you my

Tay Daniels: first daughter super easy as a baby and now that she's gotten older she's a little bit more difficult she's really really really sensitive which I can understand as I'm also sensitive but it's it's hard sometimes but this one she's a really hard baby so I'm hoping maybe she'll be easier as she gets older.

I don't know

Melanie Branch: are you breastfeeding

Tay Daniels: I was I quit I was depressed it's

Melanie Branch: hot it can be hard and there's so much like because my 1st baby I gave up breastfeeding at 2 weeks I just didn't have any support it's natural but it's not easy right and we went through so much with his formula and then my 2nd baby I breastfed him for 16 months but I had to.

Yeah but I had to modify what I was eating for him because like spicy food would take him out and I was like babies they don't even get rice milk and you're complaining about the fact that I had the jalapeno teas all right so it's all right You just never know you never know yeah No all right.

That's okay we'll get this train back on the track it is okay we mark the clip right there and say that that's where they can okay all right now I have you frozen Sing me a song and do a little dance with it so I know that you're unfrozen what the

Tay Daniels: heck I'm moving you hear me

Melanie Branch: crap it says actual it's okay.

The recording will be alright recording continues smoothly live video will return when their internet improves yeah so okay it's me it's okay let me take the Wi Fi off it's all internet all the time so I won't even blame you I won't even blame you but it says the recording continues smoothly the live video will return when the internet improves.

There you are! Okay! Alright so we'll talk about we'll just pick this train back up and talk about how long we've been coaching and some of the fun realizations that we've had right so when I began coaching I got this wild hair at my ass in the end of 2020 and I was like this is it I've been working on my mindset for a while.

You know my mom died after an 18 month battle with stage four head and neck cancer in April of the shutdown right so like just my world was spinning it was crazy there's a lot of peanut butter whiskey involved a lot of realizations it's when I connected with my psychic powers it's when my spirit guides made themselves known to me.

It's when I realized like all of the things that I had gone through up until that moment happened to put me in this exact situation scenario and help the people I meant to help and so many people went through a freaking spiritual awakening of some kind in 2020 it was like okay yeah I want to be with those people.

This is what I'm going through too but I didn't get my first client until six months later yeah because I didn't hire a coach because I was like no I'll just be able to do this I'll just be able to figure it out I'll just be mm yeah so I've seen you post on your social media a lot of things that resonate that are like you know if you wait until the perfect moment you'll never get started.

Yeah

Tay Daniels: you cut out.

Can you hear

Melanie Branch: me yes I can see I know that it's recording you but I just can't really see you that well yeah yeah

Tay Daniels: okay let's see here if I move does this help can you hear me now I can

Melanie Branch: hear you and it says the actual recording is higher quality I just can't see you so what sometimes what it does is that it will make it so that we can't see the video because it's saving the bandwidth for the actual recording.

Tay Daniels: Okay yeah I can hear you but you're frozen

Melanie Branch: see and now you're a black screen too all right we'll just keep talking and assume it works well so when it comes to the most common things that you wish people knew when it comes to like starting their coaching business or hiring a coach let's let's tell the everybody listening some of the the FAQs that you can just go ahead and answer for them right now.

Tay Daniels: First and foremost is expecting yourself to know something that you don't know or learn something you don't know or master something you don't know is actually insane and so if you are wanting to make money if you are wanting to have a successful business and you have never done it before you've never learned the skill of selling or the skill of coaching.

You're going to have to learn it somewhere so if you don't hire a coach where are you going to learn that from because you're not just going to magically one day know what you don't know it's impossible right and if I were to go back and start business all over again the first thing I would do is hire a coach or mentor first and foremost.

But I would learn the skill of selling because if you don't make money You're not a business owner yeah it's a hobby yeah so yeah it is literally non negotiable in my world to have a coach to hire a coach especially if you want to get to the next level you want to learn a new skill and there'll be places in your business where you'll even plateau at every single level and still need help or a mentor or a coach or some kind of support to get to that next level.

So you you don't know what you don't know so my my best advice to you is stop using time like you don't have time right can't get more time you can always make more money stop using the little time you do have to figure it out on your own and hire someone to just give

Melanie Branch: you the answers yeah absolutely.

And really figure out what no longer serves you that is a huge huge part of being a successful entrepreneur and business owner because there are going to be a shit ton of people you hung out with lifestyle choices you made and all of that that are not conducive to the lifestyle that you are manifesting right now.

Tay Daniels: Yes absolutely and the people you keep in your inner circle friends family it does not matter they will have a direct impact on your success they will have a direct impact on how you show up in your life and your business and I hear this over and over again I don't want to show up online because someone in my family will judge me.

My friends will judge me who cares these people are not paying your bills they are not hiring you and why are they so judgmental of you if they're your friends huh what

Melanie Branch: huh absolutely I remember when I was first starting out I was still working at the very busy restaurant that I worked at for five and a half years before I started my business.

And I was getting ready to like bag up some desserts or something so I was standing in a relatively occupied space by other employees right and it was my 1st tick tock account my 1st account got banned at 45 000 followers while I was live it was very traumatic but I was at about like 20 or 22 000 followers at this moment in time.

And this person this young guy that I worked with all the time said oh yeah Mel how's that business ears come along what is it YouTube and I said no actually it's TikTok and I have 22 000 followers and he was like and that moment it was burned into my retinas and into my brain and into my soul.

And I remember being like yeah yeah buddy shut the fuck up when you're talking to me and I like walked away good for you people are not going to be supportive of you you are a threat to their status quo

Tay Daniels: and why is it always men why are men so threatened by women I

Melanie Branch: can start with this but then we won't be able to we won't have time to talk about anything else.

Right we'll just go down this spiral just I mean it's and even if it's not I mean even if it's some dumb bitch that you and your mom's your friend mmm your mother I mean we talk about cycle breakers and we talk about human giver syndrome and you know human giver syndrome might not even be in the DSM.

It's not like a technical thing but whenever I describe it to people and they go what is it and I say think about a mom on Christmas she is occupied all of her time and brain and mental energy are occupied by are you having a good time are you enjoying yourself this is great and not one person asks her how she's doing.

Her existence is not to make herself happy her existence is to make everybody around her happy and then if she has any time and energy left over make herself happy I'm here to tell you it's the exact opposite you're responsible for your happiness that's it

Tay Daniels: 100% I say this all the time it's like a vase.

If you have a vase and you constantly tip it over to pour into everyone else's cup you will be empty you will be miserable but if you were to just fill your cup it would naturally overflow into everyone else's

Melanie Branch: yeah when it goes you feel people from your saucer not your cup so like if your teacup is sitting on the saucer if anything's on that saucer that's extra.

They can have it exactly yes yeah it's so true so then how would 1 person who say is running their coaching business right now but they're not doing as well as they'd like to be they have kids they have the partner they have the house they everything looks fantastic from the outside but internally they're struggling whether it's their executive function because of their ADHD whether it's overstimulation from their undiagnosed or recently diagnosed autism whether it's being told over and over and over again you have anxiety and depression and then finally fighting for a diagnosis self or professional that says oh it's.

It's neurodivergence of some degree right what do you tell that person how do we get them over the hump

Tay Daniels: so first and foremost I think this comes in parts and this is where people are missing in the industry we see business coaches we see life coaches we see trauma specialists we see therapists we see energy healers but there's never this Like moment of it all needs to work together.

It all needs to work together so with one of our programs is where we focus on healing your mind healing your body healing your nervous system so that you can make more then we do life coaching mindset coaching business coaching and strategy because if I only gave you one piece of that it's going to fall flat.

Because you need all the pieces working together at once in order for it to be happening for you so what I see a lot of in this is What you were just explaining with this woman is she's probably missing some type of business strategy and it's usually a sales problem she's usually creating a lot of content but she's not making sales because content doesn't equal clients.

Content is marketing marketing is great for awareness and lead generation it's not sales sales is a skill you have to learn but also at every level and every income level if you do not fix your mind and your body and your trauma and you don't work actively on healing your nervous system you're going to bring your shitty thoughts with you at every level.

You're gonna bring your trauma with you at every level you're going it's never going to get better because you made more money and I used to think when I'm a six figure business owner I'm going to be fixed I'm going to be healed my anxiety's gonna be better my stress is gonna be better and let me tell you I hit six figure.

Figures and felt shittier than fucking ever than ever because I did not take the time to heal Myself while making the money and then it felt like oh it's not enough I'm not doing enough and all these other shitty thoughts came in So if you're at home right now and you're struggling with being successful making more money You're not where you want to be you you're not working the schedule you desire any of these things You're struggling with anxiety depression C P S T C P T S D which I also struggle with.

And you feel like there's no way out first and foremost find a coach and a community that that focuses on these areas and other women in these areas get it cause you're gonna feel like seen you're gonna feel heard you're gonna feel understood and then you're going to actually get tangible tools to fix your problems.

Right yes that's one that's like the biggest piece is finding your people but then also finding the pieces of you that actually need focus if something continues to resurface it needs focused on

Melanie Branch: yes absolutely absolutely and I will say too there continues to be a bit of a struggle in the neurodivergent community ADHD autism all that between a professional diagnosis and a self diagnosis.

And what I want everybody to really think about is who benefits from that being the main fucking topic right no you don't benefit from that being the main topic because you're not getting any help I have 1 client who finally got her ADHD and autism diagnosis and then she literally went okay where are my accommodations and there's.

Nothing out there for you right so it doesn't even help you there are some countries that you cannot even travel to if you were diagnosed autistic they do not want you there and they're they're well to do countries so you're not talking developing nations so and there's also some states where if you were diagnosed autistic and something happens between you and your partner and you get a divorce they can.

Go after full custody of the kids because you have that diagnosis I'm not saying it's right I'm just saying that's what it is so if we can shift the perspective from I will be validated when I get a formal diagnosis to start accommodating myself right now and watch my world change and watch me finally be able to regulate my nervous system finally be able to work on my money mindset finally be able to get my business hours down into a place that doesn't completely wipe me out and make me super duper exhausted and burned out all the time.

That's when that happens that's called accommodations

Tay Daniels: oh my God yes but this is the thing if you are formally diagnosed the accommodations you're going to get are from big pharma they're going to bandaid your problems they are not going to fix your problems and so I know this is like a whole thing.

People are not going to like this some of you are going to like F you and follow me that's fine so so who benefits from you being diagnosed big pharma doctors lawyers right you're not going to be benefited you're going to be band aided and the band aid is only going to work so long and they're going to keep upping doses and keep upping doses and God forbid you miss one or you have a drink or whatever the case may be you're going to fall down the well.

When in reality there's other better ways to heal yourself and they're not a band aided fix right so my suggestion is don't even don't even get the diagnosis don't get formally diagnosed you know what your problems are

Melanie Branch: there's a lot of stress that goes into it I have a lot of medical trauma both from me trying to get my own diagnoses and then dealing with my mom who was terminally ill for 18 months right?

Like there's a lot of and nobody talks about any of this stuff nobody tells you hey this super bad shit can happen to you mentally and energetically and emotionally and physically when you get invalidated constantly right like there's there's a doctor on TikTok who talks about how you should dress when you go to the doctor's office so that they will take you seriously.

Shut the f What she's not happy about it but she's like as a fellow autoimmune you know sufferer la la la la la who also is a doctor nurse practitioner whatever it is I can't remember her name damn I'm not good with those anyways she's like literally you can't go in there like so talk like somebody who has chronic illness with pain right?

Somebody who has chronic illness with pain and who already didn't wake up with five spoons and it takes five spoons just to get ready to go to the doctor right they don't want to expend that energy and that time on makeup and an outfit and a shower and all that sort of stuff right understandable I get it.

I have no spoon days too bye to be taken seriously you have to go in there and at least have your hair pulled back you know you have to at least hide the grease maybe with a hat or you know you have to at least a button up shirt and jeans is always and I'm like I hate that we live in a world do you know why they diagnose fibromyalgia so often?

And this is from a client of mine who is completely medically trained and then has left the medical industry because of this they get so much money per visit if they have that on your so if you get diagnosed fibromyalgia right now and it stays on your chart for the next 20 years every time you go in they get extra money because they talk to you about fibromyalgia.

Oh

Tay Daniels: that is insane insane

Melanie Branch: so when it comes to really accommodating yourself as a neuro divergent business owner right whatever your alphabet soup diagnosis is you really want to think about like so my my kids and husband and I just got done with our annual summer camping trip right beautiful little Springs that we go to.

It's three days two nights it's an hour and a half away it's an easy peasy lemon squeezy life right we actually this time went down there early Monday morning so we left the house at nine I was like I want to leave at nine that normally means 11 we were out of the house packed up before 9 aM I was like we get down there we drop into the Springs and we go floating three times and that's about an hour and a half each time between the walk from our camp and floating down and it's just it's wonderful.

Right tuesday spent the whole day doing it got four drop ins swimming floating having a good time you know eight eating our hot dogs all that shit and then yesterday morning instead of floating down the river a couple of times and then getting in the car we literally just packed up we're off that campsite at 9am.

Hit the fucking Waffle House drove an hour and a half home and we were all able to spend from noon until whatever time everybody went to bed because they're all teenagers so I don't even want to know just chilling and re acclimating to home life being with our dogs not having any high demands on us and it was remarkable.

I have never ever ever again want to go on a vacation without having an entire day to acclimate back to my regular life

Tay Daniels: yes 100% I always have to do that

Melanie Branch: this is new for me why didn't anybody tell me this I thought it was better to spend as much time as you possibly could at the place and then come home and stress yourself out to have to get ready for real life again.

Tay Daniels: Right heck no oh my gosh that

Melanie Branch: is not a good thing so how do you yeah

Tay Daniels: yeah go ahead no go go I think we're on the same page here go for it

Melanie Branch: when you do vacation because obviously somebody who advocates for coaches to work less and make more vacations a big big thing and it's hard with ADHD because we know how much planning it goes into making a vacation.

Good and planning is not instant release dopamine there's no reward to the planning of it and then you're there and it flies by and then you're on your way home and you're like I don't even think I remember what was going on how it's already over how do you make sure that vacations happen

Tay Daniels: okay this is a great question.

So first and foremost is my husband and I pick like a time of year that we're always going to go to our vacation spot so Christmas break I'm off for a month between December and January I take the whole month I can't release my team it's holiday break we're out so my husband my kids and I will go to Florida for a couple weeks around that period and then potentially like May ish right before school lets out because that's like my birthday and that's when we'll plan our trips.

However I plan our trips to be at least like 7 to 15 days long because not only do I need to be acclimated back but I get straight up depressed when we have to go home like I want to stay there forever I don't ever want to go home and in That was when I realized that I need to love my life like I need to love life and not live for vacation because I'm an entrepreneur right?

I run my own business I can do whatever I want so instead of always looking forward to vacations like I would at 9 to 5's now I can I can plan multiple vacations first and foremost but also coming back to the life I love and so recently I've moved into a new business model and I only work Mondays and Thursdays.

I am off every other day of the week and I get into my office between 8 and 9am and I'm done by 2pm at the very latest and I don't work back to back to back hours like that's pretty sporadic hours right like I maybe work 10 hours a week I don't run paid advertisement I have a very lean team but this allows me to know When I'm not working Monday and Thursday I will get to it Monday and Thursday I'll focus on it.

And when I get into my office on Mondays and Thursdays I know exactly what to work on I know this is kind of like off topic of vacation but when you have a life that is Or a business that stimulates the life that you want to live it doesn't feel like you're always having to run away from it or coming back.

Like this energy of just like Oh my God I

Melanie Branch: had a friend back before I was healed and when I was still working regular you know I never actually worked like a nine I worked a few nine to fives but it was like property management but I was a restaurant girl I liked being able to like okay I can just go pick up a shift to make 200 bucks.

Come on let me do what I want to do you know it's the Melanie show everyone in my tables I'm like ah I know what I'm doing it was a good time but it was really hell on wheels for my body now that I understand that I have hypermobile LR Stanlows and I'm 37 but my hips feel like I'm 85 so it's like what what do we go what do we got going on here?

But I had a friend back when we lived in San Diego my husband's military so it's either been Jacksonville or San Diego for the 17 years we've been together thank God very lucky in that she was a real work hard play hard bitch and she worked at a job that made really good money she was able to work from home la la la.

But nonetheless it was a job it wasn't her own business and she wanted to plan vacations all the time and I remember saying to her like I'm really working hard to build a life that I don't need a vacation from and the fact that you are constantly stressing me out with when's the next thing we're going to go do?

When are we going to go do that we're going to go to Vegas and we're going to do this and we're going Nothing nothing about this is appealing and I know it's so appealing to you but like she's a cruiser she likes to go on cruises we're not friends anymore but like she likes to do cruises and I'm like that sounds like a nightmare.

That sounds like a tank full of germs floating on the ocean and I have no control over it and like if that does not seem if you were if you you said yacht wrong I think that's what happened I think you talked to me about me being the only one there on a yacht and I'm paying for everything and I have my people there and somebody waiting on me hand and foot.

I'm in if you're talking about I have to go eat food that people have sneezed on and the amount of I mean I've gone all down the rabbit hole of of yachts and whatnot and or not yachts of cruises and the crime and I'm like none of that looks appealing no

Tay Daniels: and we're tourists we are all about luxury things.

A cruise to me is very much no it's a no for me it's like a Motel

Melanie Branch: 6 on the ocean it just doesn't seem no ugh and you know you're going to see the same people over and over and over again for six days and then like what do we have the awkward conversation I'm like oh you're from Milwaukee cool we're from Jacksonville.

Oh like I feel like I have to make a friend I don't want I don't want anybody to talk to me

Tay Daniels: exactly no friends on vacation

Melanie Branch: leave me alone I just want to chill the fuck out so this new new work schedule if you're only working two days a week how many days a week were you working and what prompted this switch?

Tay Daniels: Yes so when I first started for my first five years I was doing 40 to 60 hours a week with a baby with my first child while I was a single parent recipe for burnout I then worked in coaching to not work on Fridays so then I was taking Friday Saturday Sundays off and as of recent I went on maternity leave and I took six weeks off from my business and it didn't burn and I made lots of money and then I moved into this two day work week because that is when our homeschool teacher comes to be with my oldest daughter.

That is what works best for me and my schedule with my programs and then I decided to not work the other days and what I also found interesting is we recently moved into a new home and I literally cannot believe that I live in this home because it is I grew up in a trailer okay like I grew up poor af I ruined my credit at a young age.

Like I've never come from money and so to live in this brand new home that no one's ever lived in that's 3000 square feet and I just feel like I love being home like I love being in this space I don't have to run from this my business is here my kids are here I'm safe here I'm a germophobe I'm like a super hypochondriac.

So being in public makes me like ugh cruise ho cruises are like a no so to be in this space and then have this new schedule feels like I like almost want to cry sometimes when I'm with my kids like I can't believe I built this fucking life and I just turned 30 last month and this is my life this is insane.

Insane

Melanie Branch: that's a real good way to speed up your manifestations too is to really sit and revel in like I can't believe it I used to say that when we moved into his house in 2019 we live in a hundred she's a hundred and two now a hundred and one year old historic home in a historic neighborhood in Jacksonville.

And it's the only move that we've ever made that was like we wanted to do it the Navy wasn't requiring it and the first year we were in his house we'd all just be sitting around and I'd be like yeah and I was just like look around me like I just love this house and everybody got so used to me saying it and whatnot but like you got to remind yourself

Tay Daniels: and when you work from home you have to love your space.

It has to be the space that creates this energy that is creative it creates this manifestation for you and for me that is this home this home is like it's all of that for me because I if I would have told my younger self at 23 when I started this business that you're going to go from ruined credit being poor being a single mom like hating life being depressed.

Feeling just like complete shit to 30 years old a multi six figure business owner you work two days a week you have two kids you're remarried you have a brand new home I would never have believed it not a shot it's

Melanie Branch: yeah yeah there's a lot of that a lot of that listen when it comes to mindset.

Obviously that is where I'm happiest but when it comes to money mindset specifically people need to remember if you're listening and you never hear anything nothing ever resonates but what I'm about to say abundance is a frequency that creates wealth well does not create abundance so if you're sitting around.

Not financially where you want to be start looking at where you are abundant right so whether that means you open up your pantry and you say I have an abundance of garbanzo beans in here Whether it is the you know buying your oranges and your apples and putting them on display Which is shui thing and always remember I have an abundance of produce right?

When you're at the lay grocery store and you're dropping 350 because these teenagers don't stop eating and inflation is real Instead of saying Oh I'm so bad this food's going to be fucking gone these kids can't do it say I'm so happy grateful thankful and blessed that my kids will never know what it's like to go to the cabinet and not see anything they want.

Tay Daniels: Yeah and fully like I have done this forever is living and embracing being delusional like fully living in delusion of you can literally have anything you want and when people bring up this whole like but the economy and I'm like what about it

Melanie Branch: who benefits from you being scared of it who benefits from you being scared of it?

Tay Daniels: They're like yeah but that's why no one's buying I was like that's interesting cause I just made 17 grand last week on a presale and my coach has made over 300 000 from three launches went on three vacations and five months this year and I got a front row seat so people are buying people are spending money.

People are spending money every second of every day yeah absolutely like I'm not tapped into that those narratives and that energy I fully live in delusion all the time yeah yeah and it

Melanie Branch: benefits me if it's if it's not a good time I'm not signing up for it absolutely not I'm not interested in it.

Right and it really I you know I've reiterated to all of my clients all the time everybody at the Neuro Spicy Academy anybody who will listen really that your energy is your power right so the more magnetic you become the more you're going to repel the wrong people and the more you're going to attract the right people.

But that doesn't mean that some of those people you're repelling aren't going to be loud about it

Tay Daniels: oh absolutely 100% they're going to be the loudest probably

Melanie Branch: and you know remember we do not take advice from anybody whom we would not or we don't take criticism from anybody whom we would not take advice.

Yeah and anybody who's doing more than you does not have any time to criticize you

Tay Daniels: yep these I live by this I talk about this all the time people doing better than you do not care what you're doing if anything they're gonna be more supportive because they understand because they've been there.

People who are doing better than you are never gonna treat you like you're less than never they don't

Melanie Branch: care it's like crabs in a bucket theory where if you put a bunch of crabs in a bucket and one almost gets out they'll pull it back in exactly misery loves company baby she loves it we were just talking about this at the Academy actually how especially when you're dealing with like parent situation you know we're all in our thirties forties fifties that sort of shit.

And if your parents are still alive what a lot of us are finding and I didn't realize this until my mom was already dead but a lot of us are only accepted when we complain and to relate to somebody like your mom or your dad if they're in that state of mind then you know the only way my mom could appreciate a vacation my husband and my kids went on is if I came home and I told her about the bad shit you know and you don't even realize that you're doing that because this has been ingrained in you from childhood of how you're going to be accepted.

And nobody likes to see you in any version that does not support them yes

Tay Daniels: yep I have recently been dealing with this with my mother and it has been An insane realization to think that this person who I grew up with as someone I looked up to as a child who was my best friend who I always went to with all my problems.

Now feeds off my problems yeah yeah yeah that's a

Melanie Branch: whole nother thing that's a whole nother thing and you know cheers to all those cycle breakers out there cheers to all those ultra independent bitches out there that can get it done being resourceful and resilient and not needing anything from anybody first and foremost.

You do have to ask for help yeah I have to ask for help because remember would you rather bring every grocery bag in in 1 trip and get a hernia or could we break it into 2 or 3 trips and take 2 minutes longer like what really is going to take a longer amount of time long run right like what are we really thinking about here?

But like you said earlier slowing down is the key for all of

Tay Daniels: that to happen 100% it is and it was so hard for me to get there and that is where you have to heal your mind your body your nervous system because if you don't you won't slow down when you do slow down you'll feel like crap you'll always run back to it.

You will be anxiously attached to your business and to money and it will not be profitable for you at

Melanie Branch: all yeah yep I bet you know this one the affirmations that you can use that feel really really weird at first like I love money and money loves me I remember somebody saying that on a TikTok in 2020.

And I was like Ew you're not allowed to say that and I went wait why are you allowed to say that and I had to really pursue it so when it comes to like shadow work for healing your mindset and whatnot really just go after the stuff that your brain says you can't do that be like okay why

Tay Daniels: not yes.

Because if your brain feels uncomfortable about someone else talking about something that is your work that has nothing to do with them at all and it's typically what I see a lot in business it's money like people get so triggered when you talk openly about your money your income oh my God you shouldn't do that.

Who said who

Melanie Branch: said I shouldn't do that why are you so triggered right yeah why do you care about me so much and what I'm

Tay Daniels: doing you

Melanie Branch: know the magic that I practice is alchemy of I know people are talking shit and I know people are talking positively so I you know say these little mantras to myself and do a little we call it I call it magic spells.

But some people freak out about that I also think witch is a term of endearment but whatever

Tay Daniels: I fully embrace being a witch I'm

Melanie Branch: a chilliflower but my my business partner likes to call it tactile goal setting that's hilarious

Tay Daniels: my family has accepted me as being a witch like full on they're like you're a witch.

And I was like thank you for that can

Melanie Branch: I tell you while we were camping I I forgot my powers and how strong they are and the first day we were there I was like it would be so fantastic if we really just had this whole place okay google turn the alarm off it's 3 p m just so you know I had this moment where I was like it would be so fantastic if we just like had this place to ourselves.

We've never seen it not busy it would just be so incredible so great that night we had a thunderstorm roll in that might as well have been a hurricane found out that our tent is not waterproof but she held up pretty good and it literally thundered and lightning you know the kind of lightning that and thunder that hit instantly.

So you know the storm is on top of you because there's no seconds in between yeah it was like that on and off from midnight to 6 a m people laughed people when we got up in the morning to like make sure everything was okay half of the campsites were abandoned and the tents were just in pieces and in like some of the sites were flooded out and whatnot.

And these people that have been playing their music all obnoxious all goddamn night until 12 PM or 12 AM when you got to turn it off they left they were flooded out of their camp they were gone everything was still there and they fucking booked it and it has never been that empty the whole time we were there.

And I was like we got to be a little more specific when we talk about this Mel because we made this happen hell yeah it's great and you know I'm a Floridian so it doesn't scare me there's not a mountain there's no whatever I lived through hurricanes come on bring it on let's go but you know I looked at my husband the next day and I said that might've been my fault.

That might've been me I'm really I hate to say I'll be more specific next time yeah yeah

Tay Daniels: you always have to be specific that's for sure I've learned that one the hard way

Melanie Branch: many times what sort of magic do you like to practice for your business

Tay Daniels: that's a good question a lot of it is typically stemmed with money manifestations.

And I honestly have I would say taken a break but I'm not really because I feel like it's become more normal for me and not not so much a practice right it's kind of more of like my norm yeah I think yeah so but a lot of what I do it just comes down to that visualization and manifestation and fully living in delusion that I can easily have this and it's like no big deal for me.

Melanie Branch: Yeah I love that it's a nice reminder to have all the time it's like I don't have to worry about anything because everything's always working out

Tay Daniels: for me yeah and I look back into my life and to like being on WIC and food stamps and not being able to afford rent and bills and Every single time it worked out even then it worked out So for me it's always it's always gonna work out and I know that and I believe that I could truly live in that space Of even if it's hard right now I know it works out.

It always does and that has been like a game changer Yeah

Melanie Branch: all right Tae before I let you go I want you to tell everybody where they can find you where they can follow you how they can work with you it will be in the show notes but I just like to hear it directly from people's mouths

Tay Daniels: absolutely come over to Instagram follow me at itstaydaniels underscore LLC message me tell me hello tell me you listen to this podcast tell me about your life tell me who you are I love to get to know people on a on a personal basis and then you can work with me through my two programs.

One is group coach energy school we help you build your first profitable group coaching program in six months we teach you marketing sales offers that's my specialty and then I have a mastermind that opens four times a year and we help you work less and make more scaling to six and multi six figures in 12 months.

Melanie Branch: My God I love that that's also something that we were talking about recently at the Neuro Spicy Academy is productizing your services so I would love to actually talk to you after the show about having you on for one of our rebel roundtables where you can help because you know we Christina and I are really like the parent now at the Neuro Spicy Academy and people take what we say our students take what we say with a grain of salt and then we have somebody come in and say the exact same shit that we say and they're like I get it when she says it.

And it's like literally

Tay Daniels: all the time with my students I'll bring in people to coach on what I coach and they get it and they're like this was great and I was like yeah how dare y'all heifers

Melanie Branch: you know but then I like to remember what I was told by one of my youngest he's very neurodivergent gifted all that sort of shit.

And his teacher was like Oh my God he is just so great and I was like I'm so glad somebody gets that energy from him cause he's a bit of a nightmare when he comes home she's like Oh well that's this this and this you know the the parent that they are most comfortable with always gets the shittiest form of them.

And I'm like yep I haven't talked to this little asshole he loves me okay good to know good to know makes me feel so much better oh Lord oh so I am so grateful to have you on Tay I will continue being your cheerleader and following you on all the social medias I just love you so much thank you for being here and to everybody listening.

Figure out what your trauma responses are create a plan to start actively healing and understand that healing is a lifelong

Tay Daniels: thing yes 100% thank you for having me this was fabulous

Melanie Branch: okay I love you all equally and for different reasons and we'll talk very soon okay bye! Bye! Yay!