Episode #028 — Elle Dalebroux’s Journey to Mindful Mastery

Melanie Branch: Welcome to another episode of Trailblazers Rising I am so excited to bring my guests to you all my fans my listeners my loves my hearts my soul elle and I have been following each other and been mutuals for a long time now and I don't understand the concept of time so I won't even try and estimate how long and Elle does some really fantastic.

Wild wonderful stuff in terms of brain training and I wrote it all down biofeedback and neurofeedback I think I'm getting it right so before I botch it anymore I'll say hello and tell everybody who you are and what you do hello

Elle Dalebroux: hello thank you so much Melanie for inviting me today my name is Elle.

I'm a brain coach and virtual neurofeedback specialist I help anxious overachievers and neurodiverse entrepreneurs to rewire their brain so they can upgrade their energy productivity and self

Melanie Branch: that's so exciting my nipples got hard so I have been listening to Andrew Huberman and a few other people on my daily W a L K S is I can't say the word out loud because of these four leggings that are laying right next to me.

And the field of neuroscience is so incredibly intriguing and interesting to me as a neurodivergent entrepreneur and coach who helps neurodivergent coaches and entrepreneurs so when it comes to virtual neuro feedback what does that mean

Elle Dalebroux: yeah so the very first thing I do with all of my clients that's so different from Anybody else is I take an assessment that quantifies your brainwaves in real time.

So we're looking at the overproduction of where your brainwaves fall on a day to day basis and then from there we can create a specific protocol to each individual person so everything that I do is unique to every single person's brain so then we can train the brain to be able to compensate for the over productivity and under productivity through operant conditioning.

So it's teaching the brain to self regulate over time so instead of going after symptoms of difficulty focusing or executive dysfunction you're actually getting to the root of the brain the operating system and you're saying hey you can actually behave a little bit differently without experiencing anxiety without experiencing some of that time blindness and everything else that comes with

Melanie Branch: difficulty focusing.

So forgive me but I am a visual learner does this involve putting on like a cap with the the things coming out of it and then watching my brainwaves on a screen somewhere I'm sorry to sound so technical y'all please no it is it is technical please if you can't keep up we can break it down even more.

Elle Dalebroux: It is technical it really is so I mean we can even get into Statistics 101 if you want to but so yes it's the device that I use since I operate completely virtually the device is EEG sensing so I send you a device that connects to your phone and then through a specific app I can monitor your different brain waves that are occurring.

So it's not putting anything into your brain in any capacity we're just looking at it and then from there that's when I then create the protocols

Melanie Branch: my bittersweet love affair with tech makes me go that is so cool and also oh my God really can we even do that so if we were to what it feels like to me is getting really to the root and the source of it the same way like a naturopathic doctor who you know and our service provider a functional medicine provider I've interviewed many on this podcast like really getting to the root.

Instead of doing research and being like okay well I heard this supplements good let's take it for a while and see and I heard you know this mindset technique is good but like let's check it out so when we're doing this ideally who is the best candidate somebody with anxiety all the time

Elle Dalebroux: so I have worked in the field for about 8 years now.

I started working for private practice and I worked for 2 different offices I worked in neurological rehabilitation and also in behavioral analytics so I've worked with anyone from age 6 to 86 and all of it of all ways shapes and forms but my niche now because of my journey and who I am is very specifically entrepreneurs.

I work with a lot more women than I do men I also work with a lot of athletes and peak performance and so many neurodivers because it's just a hot topic right now

Melanie Branch: yeah so how did you when I started okay it was 2020 I had been doing mindset work on myself since about 2018 and my mom passed away after her 18 month battle with stage four head and neck cancer.

We were in the height of the shutdown it was April of 2020 and I was just like I don't know what the fuck I need to do anymore who I am what I'm here for what role I need to play crazy wild spiritual awakening ensued lots of peanut butter whiskey was consumed and by October of 2020 I was like I am meant to be a mindset coach.

I'm meant to have a brand online I'm meant to help women that are dealing with X Y and Z oh no,

Elle Dalebroux: we lost our folks

Melanie Branch: I'm here I don't know what happened I'm sorry anyways where did I turn where did I turn off that?

Elle Dalebroux: You were meant to have a brand online

Melanie Branch: and that was the last thing okay good we didn't lose a lot so that's when I start I was like okay I'm going to have a mindset coaching business I'm going to be on social media and I'm just going to make this happen right thank God I had done all of my research and my business and my degree was in business and whatnot but it took me.

A minute it took over six months until I got my first client what is your experience going from working for somebody else to working for yourself because we talked a little bit before we pressed play and started recording this on like I just became an unemployable person I started figuring out this ADHD thing.

I started figuring out this energy thing I got connected to my intuition I said yeah I can't work for anybody else anymore I'm going to need to make something happen on my own yeah

Elle Dalebroux: so I was so fortunate enough to have built an incredible network so for me I was working at two different offices so I was working six days a week a week and I was working 10 hour days to be able to serve my clients.

And it just got to the point I'm not sure if you're familiar with a lot of like neuroscientists or a lot of Doctors who study the brain I'll just be very transparent here there's a lot of misogyny in the industry

Melanie Branch: oh yeah you don't say of of of the entire industry of psychiatry psychology all of that.

It's just one Think about who created it think about who controls it it's one

Elle Dalebroux: big dick measuring contest.

Melanie Branch: Yes absolutely so

Elle Dalebroux: it got to the point where it was I just had no autonomy over my time and I would look at my phone and I would experience like just the fight or flight and that's not the way that I'm supposed to live this life I just like so I absolutely said fuck it and I quit it was Labor Day weekend I quit and then my boyfriend and I went to the mountains and we tripped on some mushrooms you can cut that out if you want we tripped on some mushrooms and I just We'll

Melanie Branch: leave it in.

And I

Elle Dalebroux: just had this brilliant idea and I just saw it and I was like people need to be able to have access to this care at one point you know neurofeedback really was specified for the elite or for people who could afford it people were spending you know tens of thousands of dollars to access that care.

So I was like okay there has to be a better way so for myself being able to utilize a device that connects to your phone where you can still travel and you can still be able to access this care and know that somebody is behind the screen taking care of you it just was a no brainer to me no pun intended.

Melanie Branch: Oh my God I almost that one went right over my head thank you for pointing it out so you've been doing it for a while and it's so funny that you say peak performance I literally was on the phone texting and brainstorming with my business partner hi Christina and talking about a new name for my course which I was calling the Time Hacker course right?

Because a strict routine has never been the way that I have found success as a neurodivergent woman running her life and business and the lives and businesses of everybody around me right I mean my kids and husband don't have a business but you know what I mean I was like the name just doesn't seem right.

Like what and so we're breaking down what the course actually does and the word peak performance kept coming into my brain so I'm on my daily WALK peak performance and I'm texting her stuff and then we're talking and she's like you know peak performance is like a brand right like it's an actual like it's a coaching program or whatever it is.

I said well that's not going to work cause I don't want anybody thinking that what I do and what I offer is one of those things because I specifically did not want to be part of another program I wanted to start my own program and be known for that so when it comes to peak performance For especially neurodivergent women late in life diagnosed women women that are up against hormone imbalances you know environmental issues stress just stress just rushy rushy rushy fight or flight fawn or freeze how does fight or freeze?

This impact them as opposed to working with a mindset coach who doesn't have this technology yeah that's an

Elle Dalebroux: awesome question so I do like dually so I also do some coaching and all my practices are neuroscience based so we talk about the energy cycles we talk about how to maximize your time and that you don't have to operate at.

Maximum times 10 capacity every single day in order to achieve your dreams and then beyond that we have this component of neurofeedback so what was your

Melanie Branch: question again sorry like the difference between having this neural feedback and retraining your your brain as opposed to just working with a mindset coach who is going to like like me like I work with your energy your environment and then your mindset.

But I don't know how you're if you're in theta or beta or anything

Elle Dalebroux: like that yeah perfect okay so your brainwaves change all throughout the day based on what you're doing and thinking and feeling so knowing those 3 things the neural feedback really does a lot of the heavy lifting so it's a subconscious effort where you're not actually while receiving the feedback.

Not actually having to will the feedback to be better so your brain learns through this operant conditioning just as if you would teach a dog a new trick by giving it treats so we're essentially giving you rewards through cues so it does a lot of the heavy lifting and then your brain learns that it can apply it in the real world.

So essentially you'll tap into This device for 20 minutes every day or every other day and then you also have in conjunction some of these tools so where mindset coaching doesn't always have the same systems of analytics so what I think is so unique about the clients that I have is we have actually the data points that show you Oh your brain is actually receiving so much more feedback than when you started.

Or Oh we can see that this brain wave has so much more power than when you started or how this is changing so it helps to solidify and I noticed so many people feel seen because it has this ability of showing you wow that's how I feel on the inside but there's actually data that I can put everything in and I can quantify it and see with my own eyes what's happening in my brain.

Because In my opinion you would never go to a doctor and just say oh my my leg is broken and then they don't take an x ray but they give you all of these things to do with it you go to rehab whatever yeah but no we do that with the brain oh here take this try this and let's see if it works or

Melanie Branch: not.

Well and not to mention the fact that it must be so validating for your clients to see it in real time because I don't know about you but I have a lot of medical trauma that comes from doctors invalidating what it is that I'm dealing with and the problems that I have and very recently diagnosed hypermobile Ehlers Danlos which explains The physical problems I've had my entire life that everyone and my mother see what I did there everyone and my mother said you're just being sensitive.

No it's not look at look at the results of all this stuff right and the research that's out there about so it takes a man I saw this the other day I'll have to find the report and put it in the show notes it took men on average 3 years to get diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers Danlos it took women 12 years on average to get diagnosed with it.

So when we talk about fucking invalidation and the argument that's happening on social media right now we're filming this in July early July and There's a huge argument happening on TikTok right now of some psychiatrist woman put out a video that she's since taken down because you don't go after the autistics goddammit not with our sense of justice but she put a video out saying if you come to my practice saying that you think you have autism and you want an autism diagnosis because of TikTok I won't take you on as a client.

There's been a big backlash against her but what I hate about this is that I don't want the conversation to be around validity of a self diagnosis or a medical diagnosis because there's so many reasons not to even seek a medical diagnosis first and foremost is there are no resources I have a client who fought tooth and nails for her ADHD and her autism diagnosis and is now getting second opinions to validate them.

And she's like well I just figured I needed them for resources and now she's finding out there are no resources mm hmm it's a rabbit hole they don't care if you're an adult with ADHD or autism like there's there's no reason for them to accommodate us there's no reason for them to there's no incentive for that to happen.

So why even why even put yourself through it do you know Australia and New Zealand won't let you emigrate there if you're diagnosed autistic I didn't know that so when we center the conversation around health and wellness for a neurodivergent person as opposed to centering the conversation around how do you find out?

Bitch do some research! If you answer yes to the majority of the questions and you're identifying with people who are sharing their story You're autistic and ADHD it's just as easy because let's let's start accommodating you and if your life gets better boom right like why can't we just start accommodating?

I don't understand so when it comes to living as a neurodivergent woman and running your business one of the accommodations that I talk about with all of my clients is when to be social and forward facing and when to be quiet and behind the scenes right so like I work with energy cycles that are a combination of your period your menstruation.

If you're a person who menstruates the moon your your birth chart right so all the placements in your birth chart are going to have you make you interact with different lunations and and astrological events differently and what not to and really just raising your level of self awareness to be like okay I know this is my luteal week right before my period.

I know that I have premenstrual dysphoric disorder I know I have PCOS and I have endometriosis so my periods are Terrible which means I'm not going to go to a concert the week before my period I'm not going to film a bunch of content the week before my period right so what are some of the systems and strategies and routines and stuff that you have in place to accommodate your needs?

So

Elle Dalebroux: cycle tracking and doing that has been an absolute game changer for me and really just breaking free from the narrative of that I have to be productive in order to be worthy like we were talking before we hit record as like Oh pulling that knife out sometimes still burns a little bit but it's a work in progress every day.

And for myself having tools when I have high energy or when I have low energy for self care and being able to like pick from the toolbox because I have low energy but I still need to take care of myself okay I have this toolbox and I'm able to do this and that helps so so so much and I also work a lot with peak productivity hours.

So based on when you wake up based on how many hours that you sleep throughout the day And based on when you start to notice in the afternoon where you start to dip we can really figure out what sort of tasks you need to be doing during certain type times of the day so if you wake up at 6 in the morning your peak productivity is probably from 9 a.

m to noon so we can do tasks that are gonna be more energy requiring versus then later on in the day answering your emails because that's not gonna take a lot of effort well I mean for myself depending on each person is different and really just making sure that you have those tools for every individual person.

Melanie Branch: Yeah you know I realized I had a breakthrough moment the other day I'm in Northeast Florida it is hot it is uncomfortable it is oppressive it is dangerously hot outside We've literally gotten text messages from the city to our phone over the past couple of days of july 4th Especially that said dangerous temperatures you know use caution right?

Well that means I cannot go for my mental health W a l k between 11 a m I mean even 10 a m and 5 p m because it's too hot I have I have a muscle activation that I'm trying to get down and I tried to go for a W a l k late June at 2 p m and I literally had to turn around a quarter of a mile into the walk because my legs broke out into hives because it was so hot.

Right so I know now if I want my mental health walk I have to do it really early so the other day I got up I got out of my house and started walking by 7 30 and I got home and showered and back in bed at 9 45 and I fell back asleep until noon but then I got up and I did whatever I wanted to do for that day.

And I was no worse for the wear right and it used if that were two years ago my brain would have been like no you exercise you cannot go lay back down you must go perform and do things and you are up and you must be productive and now it's like no that walk was the productivity for the day actually.

Anything else that I get done is icing on the cake at this point right so like why is that such a mindfuck for us I

Elle Dalebroux: it's always the argument of nature versus nurture you know I grew up on a farm

Melanie Branch: so blame my parents I'm happy to I grew up on a farm sounds

Elle Dalebroux: great and so We woke up at the asscrack of dawn.

You milk the cows you do the you take care of your chores and then you can go have fun and so it has taken everything out of my adulthood to be able to break free from that and say no I'm not operating on farm time although I do still really enjoy waking up early in the morning and getting all my stuff done and then being done with work by 2 p.

m

Melanie Branch: you know how people talk about the revenge bedtime that a lot of us neurospices have especially if you have children or if you live with people roommates or anything like that where we want to stay up late at night because there's no demand on us from the people in our home right so it's revenge bedtime.

You lose sleep but you're like this is the only alone time that I get I have that but I have it with early mornings right so like I usually as a 37 year old woman in pretty good health I'm usually in bed at 8 PM and I am watching a show I'm drinking my sleepy time tea I'm happy to fall asleep but I'm usually up at 5 AM.

Elle Dalebroux: Yeah my my schedule is very similar so I'm in bed by like yeah 9 PM and I refuse okay so when I started working for myself I was like I am not fucking waking up to an alarm anymore okay I'm not waking up to an alarm anymore so then my body just kind of naturally adjusts and I still wake up around the same time.

I wake up between five and six in the morning but then during the winter then I sleep later because it's lighter it's not light out but that's the way our bodies are supposed to operate

Melanie Branch: yeah yeah it was so freeing when I realized like Ma'am you can just go lay down you can go lay down if it's 12 o'clock and you do not have any calls and I've moved calls around before.

I've literally all of my clients know that they may get a message from me that says I cannot give you my all so we have to reschedule and everybody's cool with it because you don't want me at 50% it's not fun it's not even fun for me right I give you 100 percent or if I can't we're going to have to reschedule it.

But like if I got to rest I got to rest and I will no longer even try and validate why I need to rest that was my mental reframe to get into acceptance of when I need rest and it is thank you Jesse you know who you are for giving this to me why does my body need rest right now right so that you can validate it and allow it to happen instead of you know seeking out some sort of mantra or affirmation of like I deserve sleep.

It's like cause then your brain just says no you don't but now I don't even have to ask that now I just literally I'll be messaging my business partner and be like Hey I gotta go take a nap I'll be back around five because I can't I don't know how I used to work through it how did we work through it?

How did we work you said before we started recording you or maybe when we were recording you just work 10 hour days I can't even go to Walmart and Target in the same in the same day now yeah I

Elle Dalebroux: think I mean you just get so stuck in stuck in survival mode and just feel like that's how you need to operate.

I look back at my skin during that time like my skin was so broken out I was heavier and I'm not doing anything differently my body just carried weight differently and it just speaks to how much cortisol that we're producing and how our bodies just adapt because we are essentially made to survive in any way shape or form we can.

Our brain doesn't like to say oh Let's get out of our comfort zone no your brain will keep you there by any means even if your comfort zone is somewhat detrimental so to a fault it's built to survive so I mean that's what I was doing it was just this revolving door of working

Melanie Branch: yeah yeah we NeuroSpicy Academy a lot of trauma drive right?

Because everybody that I work with whether it's at the Academy or it's in a one on one with me everybody says I used to be able to do so much I used to be so productive and now I can't do anything and I'm tired all the time and I'm like when you come out of fight or flight your body goes I can sleep.

Of course it's going to want to sleep of course it's going to want to sleep it wanted to sleep this whole time but you refuse to allow it so of course it's going to want to sleep of course it's not going to want to spend time with people that don't understand that you're healing right how many of us with ADHD also have an autoimmune disorder of some kind?

And most of us don't even know about it we're just so used to living with pain that we go through everyday life like I still argue with myself internally about taking a fucking Advil on my period and I have endometriosis and polycystic ovarian syndrome and PMDD and I still am like It's probably not even that bad of a pain.

I'm probably just like exaggerating in my brain my cramps probably don't even work that bad and then I take the I take the medicine and I say Oh that feels so much better like my my posture changes because I was in so much pain why do we do that how how do we talk ourselves out of that oh cut out.

It's just like you know how do we talk ourselves out of this and the imposter syndrome and the rejection sensitivity does that register on your device is there a certain brainwave for rejection sensitivity

Elle Dalebroux: that's a that's also a great question no so I can't read your thoughts I don't know what you're thinking.

I don't know some of those other things so that's why we talk about all of those behaviors we talk about all of those different things and there's something to say about feeling procrastination not taking action it's like confidence comes after you start and so it's a skill that you have to build and it's something that you have to practice.

So I always talk to my clients about this the idea of focused discomfort where you are so self aware that you are uncomfortable for five minutes at a time but then you're pushing against that edge and you can just continually push against that edge until you finally are able to do it so it's my version of exposure therapy if you will because you're not really exposing yourself to a situation but you're intentionally Showing your brain that it's okay to be uncomfortable or that it's okay to like pick up a heavier weight if you will and showing yourself that you are resilient.

You're not going to die through that and sometimes that's napping in the middle of

Melanie Branch: the day.

Listen there is something to be said about horizontal nervous system regulation right so we know with pro separation I never say this word right pro separation or whatever pro purpose that's our tendency to run into things pro preoception thank you I swear I'm smart I just have a sometimes I don't remember.

Yeah so that you know for those that are listening they may not know that's our ability to not run into things that's our ability to like like a cat has whiskers so they can tell where everything is humans are typically able to like see where everything is and and work properly in that but we can have issues with that as neurodivergent people that also when you combine it with your tendency to have hypermobility Ehlers Danlos syndrome and need more support right?

Of course we're going to want to lay down to feel good I can't sit on the couch and relax it's not comfortable for me I'm always moving around and like trying to readjust but I can go lay down with my weighted blanket and watch a show for 30 minutes and then come right back to life and feel a lot better.

And when you don't slow down and you don't give yourself the space to like live with accommodations and run your business with a slower lifestyle you'd never know because I used to beat myself up and be like you have to you have to stay vertical you have to stay working you have to move move move move.

If you need a nap you better sit on the couch and take that nap you can't get very comfortable I can't do that and now I'm like why did I think that yeah

Elle Dalebroux: I can get more done in the three days that I'm ovulating in a month than I need to do the whole month I'm gonna film I'm on I'm going to film 30 TikTok videos.

I'm going to create all the content I'm going to do all the podcasts and then right before my period no

Melanie Branch: absolutely I tell you I call that my hot shit weeks right so I'm in it right now I'm in my follicular right now cause my period just ended a couple of days ago and then I have my ovulatory but the shitty part about my PCOS and my endometriosis is that my cycle is like 40 days so wouldn't you know.

Which part of the cycle got stretched the luteal

Elle Dalebroux: where your inner critic is inner criticizing

Melanie Branch: I told my husband the other day so we've been married almost 17 years and I told him the other day cause I've been making a lot of improvements and advancements in my hormones because I'm perimenopausal and PCOS and ADHD.

And like cause this is all I'm doing my research on right I'm working with people professionals and what I'm really really trying and I was talking to him about it and I said you do understand that every month my PMDD makes me legitimately feel like running away and never seeing you and the kids ever again.

It legitimately makes me feel like all of you motherfuckers are just using me and you don't appreciate me it genuinely makes me feel like I should just quit my business I'm not helping anybody I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about everybody would be better off if I just ran off into the sunset away right?

Not suicidal ideations by any means or anything like that I'm You know completing suicide if you have thoughts of anything like that please reach out to a professional you know trigger warning that we're we'll put a trigger warning on the beginning of this video but like and I know that these thoughts these disruptive thoughts come in and I can't stop them from coming in but I can now say.

These aren't real this is your hormones acting up this is you know we can do things we have we have strategies now and tools now to get us through them but when I told him that his face dropped and he goes do you really think that every single month you experienced that and I said I literally experienced every single month thinking that I should just divorce you give you the kids and go the fuck away.

Same and he's like damn it I'm like like that is that is so taxing and draining emotionally to go through that every month and for that to be the longest span of the cycle right because your your ovulation is five to seven days max your your follicular is five to seven days max that luteal is fucking 10 days at least and then your period is 5 to 7 days max.

So you do the max the longest part of your cycle is the time that you feel you're shittiest yeah I

Elle Dalebroux: I've learned a few different techniques of working out differently and also eating different foods and that helps me a lot I've started doing the apple cider vinegar and carrot salads and that helps my period.

Melanie Branch: Do you do those every day I

Elle Dalebroux: do it like right after I ovulate I start eating the carrots and it has made a huge difference as for something so simple but it is on my list of things I desire this year to work with a nutritionist because I think the more that I learn about my body the more that I know the more that I can then Pour into my clients with even more knowledge.

So like why not you know

Melanie Branch: so I'm going to ask you a very personal question you can answer it afterwards if you don't want to in front of everybody but I have been working with a specialist for constipation because my hypermobility means that my bowels just don't move and I have to retrain them.

So I've been working for a very long time diligently with lots of stuff mind you there's you know what a motility test is you eat corn and then you wait to see how long it takes until you see it again and the first time I did it for my motility test it was five days until I saw that corn again so.

So the carrot salad thing right and everybody's probably seen it on TikTok you shred up a carrot a raw natural carrot and you put apple cider vinegar some people put fat on it it's like coconut oil whatever you know season it to taste and you eat it and it's supposed to take out a All like detox all of the recycled estrogen right?

Because estrogen you just I just learned this listening to Andrew Huberman podcast estrogen is a once use and then drain from the body you cannot recycle estrogen molecules but if you're not eliminating your bowels regularly then that estrogen is just going to be reabsorbed into the body and can recap.

So the carrot salad does that work because it makes you poop

Elle Dalebroux: so I don't have any issues with pooping

Melanie Branch: must be nice alright show off no I'm

Elle Dalebroux: just kidding if if it were anything I'm like the opposite way

Melanie Branch: like my And everybody I talk to is like I don't know I have diarrhea and I'm like I would pay for diarrhea.

I

Elle Dalebroux: think that's my problem like I I poop more often than I would like to I and I know that that's linked to like anxiety and absorption and all of those different things but I find that yeah it keeps me regular if you will

Melanie Branch: yeah well you know and it all has to do with fiber and the fibrous content of the food that you eat both soluble and insoluble because they work differently in the bowels and whatnot.

And again if you are somebody who is not evacuating your bowels at least listen you're supposed to poop every time you eat or you're supposed to have a poop for every meal that you have so if you're a big snacker you know I mean there's a lot of things that go into it trust me I'm doing the research.

And there's lots of different schools of thought and whatnot but if you are a person that has to have a coffee to poop that means you are constipated right if you need a bowel irritant to get things going that means you are constipated and there are so many reasons why we're constipated you know we're supposed to poop within like the first 30 minutes of waking up.

But women don't typically have that worked into their schedule whether you have kids whether you have a partner whether you have an animal whether you have this so we have trained ourselves to not go when we need to go and then there's this whole listen it's a whole big shebang and I'm so glad that you don't have this problem to deal with but I also know because all of my friends don't have the same problem they have that opposite problem that you have that that one's not a fun one either.

My mom you know they both make They make traveling miserable I will say that you don't want to go traveling with anybody that's got diarrhea or anybody that hadn't pooped in a couple days because they're both not happy people

Elle Dalebroux: yeah I can attest to that I live in Colorado and so my boyfriend and I go backpacking and camping and doing all the things and whenever we're camping my

Melanie Branch: Digestive system is just like off.

No way not happening yep yeah that was a joke my mom when she was still alive rest or rest in peace whatever you're supposed to say that's politically correct when I would travel because I got married very young I got married at 20 years old so when I would travel she and I'd be talking to her on the phone she'd be like you know remember Mel are you taking your stool softeners?

Are you taking your stuff because you're not going to poop if you don't do that and I was like yeah I literally had to get When we reflect on our life and we say how did I not realize this is a problem anyways after my after I had my first son I had a VSC section I did not poop for six weeks and I got a colonoscopy and an endoscopy.

And for anybody who's ever had one they give you this big jug that you have to fill with apple juice and it essentially tastes like salty apple juice and then you stay in the bathroom For the duration of your evening right it is cleaning you out and I could not finish the drink before my surgery so I went in and as they're putting me under I was like I didn't finish you might find poop and I was like I didn't finish the drink I hope you don't find poop and then I fell asleep And when I woke up and they had gone through they're like Everything looks good in there.

We don't know what I said yeah just give me that test prep from now on and I'll take that once a week and I'll never have a problem I said the problem was I had too much poop in me but now I look back on it I'm like that was totally a normal thing for me and that's not a normal thing yeah have you But because you know Have you heard

Elle Dalebroux: of Trifalia?

I haven't it doesn't work it doesn't work for you

Melanie Branch: wow nope I literally the thing that does work for me in my bowel retraining would hurt you it would you would wake up with cramps that would make you think maybe you needed to go to the ER I'm sorry but it doesn't hurt it doesn't hurt me it's it like I wake up and I go oh boy things are gonna get moving.

Yeah okay right but like it doesn't hurt me but there's so many things that we have to figure out this is why I really like more naturopathic holistic routes for healing and wellness because now when I put it all together Endometrial tissue that's all up and through my gut right the bad fat the visceral fat is all up and through there because my cortisol is too high my insulin is too high and I'm insulin resistant because I have polycystic ovarian syndrome because my hormones are all out of whack because of my environment and all this other stuff that I'm getting under control right?

So like the the hypermobile Ehlers Danlos syndrome the connective tissue that your colon is made out of and that every sphincter from the top of your mouth to the end of your root chakra that tissue doesn't work properly and then I have trained it out of even trying to work properly so of course things aren't working great down there.

You know like it it all makes sense but also to the degree of like This is why an individual approach to everybody is so important because you're not the same as everybody else yeah and

Elle Dalebroux: having the resources to be able to know that everything is figureoutable

Melanie Branch: yes yes and like not stress about it.

Like we'll figure it out we'll figure it out it may not be the answer we want but we need an answer to be able to start engineering a solution yeah

Elle Dalebroux: and allowing yourself not to be attached to the outcome as well

Melanie Branch: that's a lesson everybody needs to learn you know when you sit here saying I want to win the lottery I want to win the lottery I want to win the lottery you're really limiting the universe.

You know we really we want to switch it I want to be well I want to be abundant I want to be successful I want to be happy those things right that's what you want to attach yourself to but we do get attached to the outcome you know we do say well this is how it has to happen oh yeah I've realized

Elle Dalebroux: I've realized that so much of if you aren't achieving the goal in the way that you've wanted to achieve it it's like there's so many other plans there out for you.

There's so many other things conspiring in your favor that you have no idea about and also it's like your nervous system maybe isn't capable of that so for me it's like clients who say that they just want stacks of cash or clients that want so many other clients or all things above can you still hear me?

So it's like maybe your nervous system isn't ready for that so you have this subconscious belief that that is gonna fix all the things but really no that's not true first it's about feeling in the feelings and then you'll get the thing because you're not attached to the

Melanie Branch: thing yeah I remember realizing just how dysregulated my nervous system used to be because the idea a year or two three years ago the idea of going for a WALK just you know for three to five miles like I normally do just because like I want to get out there and exercise that idea did not seem doable to me because my first thought was what happens if I break my ankle three miles away from home?

That is not a regulated thought yeah that is not the thought of a person with a regulated nervous system yeah

Elle Dalebroux: yeah and the awareness of that because then thoughts will multiply so like you think a thought and then it's gonna think another thought like the thought and then it's gonna think another thought like the thought and it's just this like spiral.

Melanie Branch: So How many times have you been like DMing a potential new client and talking and talking and talking and all of a sudden they stop responding to you and you're like and then they come back 36 hours later and they're like you're never going to believe the emergency I just had Hey can we talk cause I want to sign with you.

And it's like I just spent the last 36 hours beating myself up thinking I was the worst person in the world that you hated me right so it's like we got to regulate

Elle Dalebroux: yeah yeah yeah and that's with the neural feedback that is one of the things that I can help with is so much of that executive dysfunction because when we start to spiral we're activating all those systems of survival.

And so if we can teach our brain to activate the prefrontal cortex instead it's just this momentary switch of activating different systems in your brain to be able to kind of switch that off or make it easier to switch that off because there really is a space between those thoughts between the thoughts that you think and the reaction that you take after.

Melanie Branch: Yes there really really is especially like listen guys I've made content about this before rejection sensitivity okay when I call my husband and he doesn't answer snarkily whether it's true whether it's sarcastic I don't fucking know my brain goes he's probably at the divorce attorney drawing up the papers.

I know that this is not the truth I know that's not the truth he's a happy guy we have a happy marriage we put a lot of we put a lot of effort into it right because that's what it takes and I know that's not the case I know that is just rejection sensitivity I know that's just my hard wiring and my attachment issues and my trauma and my CPTSD and all the things that I'm actively working on and that I know you guys are actively working on every single day.

And it just doesn't go away overnight but to be able to stop that spiral so because there's here's the thing a spiral is never upward right right a spiral is always down so if you can stop it right if you turn that hose on but you're able to cut it off before it fills up and starts spraying everywhere you're good to go.

You know we'd also have these standards for ourself especially I know particularly for myself I was told for as long as I can remember it's anxiety and depression which are two things that you can fix you take this pill you do this thing you make this choice you no longer feel like this your brain no longer feels like this.

And it's like actually it's ADHD and you're probably autistic or you have PDA or you have this or you have CPTSD and this is just the way that your brain is designed now so we have to accommodate you right and it's like please can we just understand that like I'm never going to like bright lights.

I'm never going to like to be around a lot of people I'm never going to like small talk right I want to go deep I want to talk to people that are that have special interests that are weird and shit too right like once we can accept that then we can figure out the parts of our brain that do need to be repaired and improved.

Elle Dalebroux: Yeah yeah and honoring that in yourself it's like I just don't like this I have a preference for this and that's okay

Melanie Branch: yeah I like to think of everything as dishes right so like there's many reasons why I don't like doing dishes and that's not gonna change I don't like it when water drips down my arm.

I don't like it when my tummy gets wet and I always splash water all over the place cuz I'm you know I'm athletic but I'm not graceful and I know a lot of people and they don't do anything they just like push the water around they're just like a lie they're a lie yeah so it's like if we think about all the things in our life and in our business as dishes it's like it's perfectly valid.

For me to not appreciate this this and this because of my sensory experience right the same way you don't want to touch microfiber cloth or wear a certain kind of fabric or be around a certain kind of lighting or sound why don't we think like of course everything in our life is going to be like that.

We just have to find a way to give ourselves permission to honor it yeah you know like if you're gonna go thrifting don't plan on going thrifting all afternoon you're gonna have a meltdown if you're trying to be in multiple thrift stores for a very long time

Elle Dalebroux: oh man that is one thing I just like can't get on the bandwagon.

There's just too much stuff everywhere

Melanie Branch: there's a lot of stuff when you go thrifting yeah I can only go thrifting once every couple months and it's a specific feeling that comes over me it's like a wave of like mischief and Like dopamine seeking where I'm like I could really look through some stuff.

I could look through some old fucking silverware right now let's go thrifting then I go and I do it for a little bit and I get about three quarters away through the store and I go I have to leave and I leave.

We now know our limits like I say this with all my clients to become limitless you have to learn your limits.

You know so if you're going to be doing a bunch of forward facing stuff you know filming podcasts working with clients making content you're going to need recovery time for that

Elle Dalebroux: yeah making sure that yeah your schedule allows for having different types of tasks during those different phases whenever you know your peak productivity is.

And something I've always noticed is like do the hardest task first and then the rest of the day is just golden I call it eat the frog

Melanie Branch: I can't eat the frog I talk about how I have to start with a fun thing first or I won't be able to do it but I also have persistent drive for autonomy which really right now it's considered a subset of autism.

But I literally like any perceived demand on me like okay I came up with the perfect example of it for people to understand how PDA can affect me I've been rewatching the old seasons of Real Housewives of the O c and of Beverly Hills and it is customary for those women to look at each other like when they when they see each other for the first time and they go this top is cute.

Your hair looks great it looks so pretty here's my problem with that first of all was my last top not cute second of all this is the same thing I always do so did you not like it the last time third of all do you think I would leave my house looking busted what are we doing here right so people don't understand all the ins and outs of the persistent dry for autonomy that goes with ADHD and PDA autism too all the time.

They just think it's when somebody says come here and do this and I go it's like no no no no no it goes so much deeper than that where I'm like the assumption that is being made by this sort of action and from a neurotypical standpoint it seems irrational it's like but I'm complimenting you why wouldn't you like it?

And when I worked at the very busy restaurant which will not be named for five and a half years before I went full time with my business people would compliment me on my makeup cause you know I do a full face everywhere I go and be like Oh my God I love your makeup today and I literally would just it would.

Irk me inside because I'd be like you didn't yesterday what did you think yesterday why what are you do you think I'm an idiot I don't know how to do my face every time so I work on it right it also happened the lady at the grocery store she was checking me out the other day and she checked my eggs.

She was cashing me out and she checked them she opened them to make sure none of them were broken and my initial reaction was to like go do you think I'm an idiot and I wouldn't check them but I changed my approach this is where mindset comes in right I changed my approach and I looked at her and I said how often do you open those and find a broken one?

And she goes Yeah actually about 50 percent of the time 50 percent half the time I open them there's either one missing or there's one broken and I just figure because of the price of eggs right now this is back when eggs were really costly I just figure the price of eggs is so expensive I don't want y'all getting home and realizing you missed out.

And I was like Oh sweet and she also said it was primarily men with the broken missing eggs which made me even happier and I was like what am I saying understanding like what what's happening up here is not always real you know these thoughts come through and they're they're not meant for you to take action on all the time you know so you know now that everybody knows how terrible of a person I am how hard it is to live in this brain but yeah I work with people to make their own brains easier to live in.

Yay yeah at least everybody knows I have experience why don't you tell everybody where they can find you it will be linked in the show notes but tell everybody where they can find you what your favorite social media app is all that good stuff

Elle Dalebroux: yes so my handle is Master Your Mind and that's the name of my business and you can find me on all of the socials I am.

I'm trying my hardest to grow on TikTok right now it's it's challenging I'm having a more difficult We'll talk afterward

Melanie Branch: okay okay

Elle Dalebroux: cool so Instagram and TikTok are definitely the best ways to find me tikTok I feel like I'm a little bit more unfiltered because that's just the way it

Melanie Branch: be yeah and Instagram

Elle Dalebroux: is a little bit more authoritative and tips and

Melanie Branch: tricks.

Yeah you know different things pop off on different social media platforms that's for sure but you know given it our all on all as many as we can it's the best way to be successful as a neurodivergent entrepreneur just make sure you're not doing so much that you're burning out yes and

Elle Dalebroux: I'm currently I'm currently enrolling.

Pete for my one on one I have a cool four week worry cleanse that's going to be happening and I also every every year every couple of months I have something called the brain summit and that is where it's a virtual event that is completely free to my community and it's conversations with all different types of practitioners in the nervous system regulation space.

It's a 2 day event typically where you get to ask questions each presenter is of their own craft it's been just absolutely amazing and I it's something I really love and always look forward to so definitely tune into that as well for the next 1 absolutely

Melanie Branch: yes okay Al I am so glad to have had you on the show.

Thank you so much for sharing your expertise I will be following you even more diligently than I have been and learning more about this neurofeedback biofeedback stuff you know I'm obsessed with anything to help you as a neurospicy person live your most balanced and fulfilling and and Well healthy life as possible.

And I love you all equally and for different reasons do your research and take care of yourself and we'll talk really soon okay.