Dr. Joy Bracey, licensed counselor and self-love expert, sitting in a bright, welcoming space during her interview on Trailblazers Rising podcast with Melanie Branch

Episode 014: From Self-Doubt to Self-Love - Transforming Your Inner Critic with Dr. Joy Bracey

January 29, 2024•6 min read

I am so excited to share this conversation with you! Dr. Joy Bracey has been on my radar for the longest time - I've been completely fangirling over her social media content, and for good reason. This woman is doing the work when it comes to self-love and helping people quiet their inner critics.

Listen, if you're a neurodivergent entrepreneur who struggles with imposter syndrome (and let's be honest, who doesn't?), this episode is going to hit different. Dr. Joy doesn't just talk about self-love - she lives it, teaches it, and shows you exactly how to build that foundation for yourself.

The Foundation of Everything: Self-Love

Here's what I love about Dr. Joy's approach - she makes it crystal clear that self-love isn't some fluffy concept. It's the foundation of everything, especially if you're trying to unmask and be your authentic self as a neurodivergent person.

Dr. Joy shared something that really resonated with me: "If you are trying to unmask, be your authentic self, be true to yourself and you're doing that without a foundation of self-love, that is going to be a really difficult bumpy process."

I learned that one of the big tenets of self-love is trusting yourself. When Dr. Joy feels doubtful or scared to be vulnerable, she tells herself: "I trust you to handle whatever comes of this. You've always handled it before and you're going to survive this."

This is so important for us neurodivergent folks who are constantly second-guessing ourselves. You know how I feel about building that internal validation system instead of seeking approval from everyone else.

The "Who Do You Think You Are?" Inner Critic

Let me tell you something that blew my mind - Dr. Joy's inner critic says the exact same thing mine does: "Who do you think you are?"

She explained that this voice developed when she was little, excelling at school while dealing with chaos at home. The success felt like pretend, like a mask, and her inner critic would say, "Who do you think you are going to school thinking that you are somehow smart or going to be successful?"

Here's her brilliant strategy for dealing with that voice: ask yourself two questions when the inner critic shows up:

What are you ashamed of?
What are you afraid of?

Usually, it's fear of embarrassing yourself or people not liking you. Once you identify the real fear or shame underneath, you can address it directly instead of letting that thought loop run you.

The Entrepreneur's Journey to Self-Love

Dr. Joy's entrepreneurial journey started from a very practical place - as a CEO of a nonprofit addiction treatment center and single mom of four, she realized there was no security net for her future. But it wasn't just about money. There was a genuine calling to share the transformation she experienced through self-love.

What I found so refreshing is her honesty about the financial side. She said, "So far this hasn't led to any real financial change, some but not, but I just trust that it will because it's a calling and it's a passion."

This is the kind of trust in the universe that I talk about all the time. When you're aligned with your purpose, you keep putting one foot in front of the other, trusting that you'll be taken care of.

Staying Motivated Through the Setbacks

Here's something that really struck me - Dr. Joy talked about how it's okay to not be motivated sometimes. She shared that she went a whole week without posting any videos because she was "lost in her own life" dealing with challenging things.

Instead of beating herself up about it, she accepted those ebbs and flows. Her advice? Keep your bigger picture in mind - what's your purpose? For her, it's helping people. If one video gets 10 views and one like, that means somebody resonated with it and it helped them. Purpose served.

This completely aligns with what I teach about focusing on the path, not the obstacles. You know that skiing metaphor I love? Don't think "don't hit the trees" - think "follow the path."

Real Self-Care (Not the Instagram Version)

Dr. Joy completely redefined self-care for me in this conversation. She said taking care of yourself and making yourself happy is a full-time job, and everybody else on the planet is already employed, so you have to put yourself first.

Her top three self-care strategies that everyone can benefit from:

Let yourself feel your feelings - Stop running from the "negative" emotions like frustration, overwhelm, anger, or sadness. They're temporary, don't require immediate action, and it's okay to just sit with them without judgment.
Focus on yourself - Instead of worrying about everyone else's problems and putting your focus outward, put it inward. Ask yourself: What do I need from today? What do I need to feel good right now?
Figure out what you actually like and don't like - Pay attention to what you do want in your life and what you don't want. This sounds simple, but how many of us actually know what we genuinely enjoy versus what we think we should enjoy?

The Manifestation Connection

I had to ask Dr. Joy about manifestation because her friend Andy Page told her "you manifest like no other." Her response gave me chills: "Everything that I have, I manifested. I came from a background of extreme poverty... everything I've achieved, everything I've done has been by following that inner guidance, that inner connection to the collective conscious, to the universe."

She shared this incredible story about manifesting a month-long trip to Europe for her child in just 30 days when she had no idea how she'd afford it. That's the power of being determined and manifesting with intention.

Whether you think you're doing it or not, the energy you're putting out is the energy you're attracting. That's just a scientifically backed fact of the universe.

The Truth About Masking and Unmasking

As neurodivergent people, we all deal with masking to some degree. Dr. Joy's perspective on safe and healthy unmasking is brilliant - it all goes back to that foundation of self-love.

If you're trying to unmask without self-love, it's going to be rough. But when you have that foundation and can trust yourself to handle whatever comes, then you can say, "This is scary, but I trust you. If someone doesn't like it, I trust you to handle that."

Ready to Transform Your Relationship with Yourself?

This conversation with Dr. Joy reminded me why mindset work is so crucial for neurodivergent entrepreneurs. You can't build a sustainable business if you're constantly battling your inner critic or seeking external validation.

If you want more insights like this delivered straight to your inbox, make sure you're signed up for my newsletter at mindsetmelanie.com/newsletter. I share the behind-the-scenes mindset work that's helping neurodivergent entrepreneurs build businesses that actually work with their brains, not against them.

The beautiful thing about self-love is that once you really have it, you know you didn't have it before. It's unmistakable. And when you have that foundation, everything else - your business, your relationships, your ability to handle setbacks - becomes so much more manageable.

Remember: you are on this planet to take care of yourself. Nobody else is on this planet to take care of you. It's your responsibility to make sure you feel as good as possible and are as healthy as possible. That's not selfish - that's necessary.