Episode 018: Redefining Self-Care for Highly Sensitive Entrepreneurs with Allison Borstad | Trailblazers Rising
The Real Tea on Self-Care (It's Not What You Think)
When you hear "self-care," what comes to mind? Bubble baths? Spa days? Getting your nails done? If that's your go-to definition, prepare to have your mind completely blown. In this episode of Trailblazers Rising, I sit down with the brilliant Allison Borstad, a self-care consultant who's revolutionizing how we think about taking care of ourselves—especially for us highly sensitive, neurodivergent entrepreneurs.
Bottom line up front: True self-care isn't about adding more to your plate. It's about strategically doing less and making every decision based on how it's going to affect YOU.
Episode 018: Redefining Self-Care for Highly Sensitive Entrepreneurs with Allison Borstad
The Real Tea on Self-Care (It's Not What You Think)
When you hear "self-care," what comes to mind? Bubble baths? Spa days? Getting your nails done? If that's your go-to definition, prepare to have your mind completely blown. In this episode of Trailblazers Rising, I sit down with the brilliant Allison Borstad, a self-care consultant who's revolutionizing how we think about taking care of ourselves—especially for us highly sensitive, neurodivergent entrepreneurs.
Bottom line up front: True self-care isn't about adding more to your plate. It's about strategically doing less and making every decision based on how it's going to affect YOU.
Who Is Allison Borstad?
Allison is a therapist-turned-coach who specializes in working with highly sensitive women in leadership. After spending 10 years in traditional therapy, she made the bold decision to decolonize her practice and move into coaching because she felt the rigid boundaries of therapy were limiting the human connection that's essential for healing.
What I absolutely love about Allison is her approach to neurodiversity. She doesn't see ADHD, autism, or high sensitivity as disorders to fix—she sees them as different ways of being that come with incredible gifts like deep processing, intuition, and the ability to pick up on details and magic that others miss.
The Real Definition of Self-Care
Here's where Allison drops the truth bomb that'll change everything: Self-care is structural, not supplemental.
"For me, self care is doing way less," Allison explains. "People at large do way too much and we wear exhaustion as a badge of honor. We think that we need to be busy and productive all the time, but if you just look at the health statistics of Americans—why do we all have heart disease and cancer? These things are linked to chronic stress."
When you add neurodivergence into the mix, this becomes even more critical. Our brains get overstimulated and exhausted so much more quickly than neurotypical brains. We need to strategically say no to things that don't align with our values and goals.
The Art of Strategic No-ing
One of the biggest game-changers Allison shares is getting really, really good at saying no. And I mean to EVERYTHING that doesn't align with your focus.
"Every request that comes in, I have to really think: does this align with my values and my goals? Sometimes it's an amazing request and it's just like, yeah, but it doesn't fit. So no."
This is especially challenging for neurodivergent folks who often people-please as part of their masking to blend in. But here's the thing—boldly saying "that's not aligned with my focus right now" is a skill we all need to build, especially as entrepreneurs.
Managing Your Nervous System as an Entrepreneur
Being an entrepreneur when you're highly sensitive or neurodivergent requires next-level self-care because of the unique stressors:
Constant decision-making pressure (you're literally dictating the money that comes in)
Always being "on" (your brain never really switches off from thinking of new ideas)
Visibility and vulnerability (putting yourself out there triggers your nervous system)
The risk factor (taking leaps requires so much courage)
Allison points out something crucial: "If we're trying to impact all these people and give good energy, we've got to make sure our energy well is filled. If we're coming from a place of depletion, that's weird-ass energy we're giving our clients."
The Default Mode Network: Why Your Brain Won't Shut Up
Here's a fascinating rabbit hole Allison recently went down that explains SO much about the neurodivergent experience: the default mode network of the brain.
This is the mind-wandering, theta state, meditative, creative mode of your brain that's supposed to turn off when you're doing a task. But in neurodivergent people? It never switches off. This is why we have random thoughts all the time and why it's so hard to focus—we have to exert so much more effort to bring our attention back over and over again.
Understanding this helps normalize the ADHD experience and explains why traditional productivity advice often doesn't work for us.
Balancing Strategy and Creativity
One of the biggest challenges for neurodivergent entrepreneurs is balancing the strategic side of business with creative flow. Allison's solution? Having a solid team of advisors with both similar and different brains.
"I have neurotypical Type A folks and coaches who help be this nurturing sounding board. When they give feedback, they're very respectful of my brain and style. They help me know when to lean into the creative side and when to bring structure back."
She also talks about cycling between consumption mode (scrolling, brainstorming, getting ideas) and production mode (actually creating content). The key is not forcing yourself to produce when you're feeling consumptive.
The Embodied Wisdom Your Body Holds
Here's where things get really beautiful. Allison talks about how highly sensitive people—about 20% of the population—often have incredible intuitive abilities. Your body holds so much wisdom, and those weird tugs and pulls you feel? They're usually wise.
"Sometimes you'll be like 'I have to leave the room now' and it's chaotic and random and weird and not polite, but you have this big intuitive tug. When you start really following and trusting those, not only does it usually serve you well in terms of what your body needs, but it also syncs you up with the synchronicities of the universe."
This is about trusting your embodied intuitive wisdom over what your mind thinks is "normal" or "polite."
Quantum Shifting and Getting Off Autopilot
We dive deep into quantum shifting—the idea that you can consciously hit your higher timeline in real time. This happens when you do mundane tasks slightly differently than normal, like taking a shower with different lighting or a different playlist.
The key is getting off autopilot. Our neurodivergent brains are moving so fast that we often operate on muscle memory, but when we consciously shift even small things, we can quantum shift into a higher timeline.
Practical Tools for Nervous System Regulation
Allison shares some of her go-to tools:
Reframing patience as peace: Instead of forcing yourself to "be patient" (which feels like suffering), focus on being at peace and enjoying the now while anticipating what's coming
Micro accommodations: Sunglasses, headphones, whatever makes you more comfortable in overstimulating environments
Gratitude practices: Written gratitude literally grows the joy centers of your brain
Savoring moments: When something magical happens (like toddlers wanting to hug you), pause and really expand that moment
The Signs You're Overstretched
When highly sensitive entrepreneurs get overstimulated, Allison sees four main symptoms:
Exhausted
Irritable
Resentful (a huge tell that boundaries are being crossed)
Guilty (often guilt and resentment are best friends in the burnout cycle)
The key is recognizing these as your body giving you homework, not as things to fix about yourself.
Where to Find Allison
Ready to dive deeper into this work? You can find Allison:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonborstad
She's launching a new membership group for highly sensitive women in leadership with 6 coaching calls per month for $150/month, focused on owning your genius while accommodating your sensitivities unapologetically.
Final Thoughts
This conversation was pure magic, and I hope it helps you reframe how you think about self-care. Remember: your body and brain are working exactly as they're designed to. The goal isn't to fix yourself—it's to honor your needs and create a life that works FOR you, not against you.
If you're ready to dive deeper into this kind of mindset work and learn how to heal the cycle of burnout while working, sign up for my newsletter where I share weekly insights on living your most authentic, successful life as a neurodivergent entrepreneur.
