I am so excited to share this conversation with you because it gets real, raw, and beautifully honest about something that affects every single one of us as women, founders, and humans: shame. And not just any shame – the deep-rooted stuff that keeps us small in our relationships, our businesses, and our own bodies.

Maria Orrego is a Registered Psychotherapist and Sex Therapist who helps individuals and couples explore intimacy, heal from infidelity, navigate desire discrepancies, and integrate kink or fetish into healthy relationships. She's the founder of Sex off the Pedestal, a group practice and online platform that invites us to normalize pleasure and honor the complexity of human connection.

This conversation is part pep talk, part truth serum, and packed with insights that will shift how you think about success, relationships, and your own nervous system regulation. Listen, if you're ready to stop playing small and start advocating for yourself in every area of your life, this episode is for you.

Episode 039: Dismantling Shame and Reclaiming Your Power with Maria Orrego

I am so excited to share this conversation with you because it gets real, raw, and beautifully honest about something that affects every single one of us as women, founders, and humans: shame. And not just any shame – the deep-rooted stuff that keeps us small in our relationships, our businesses, and our own bodies.

Maria Orrego is a Registered Psychotherapist and Sex Therapist who helps individuals and couples explore intimacy, heal from infidelity, navigate desire discrepancies, and integrate kink or fetish into healthy relationships. She's the founder of Sex off the Pedestal, a group practice and online platform that invites us to normalize pleasure and honor the complexity of human connection.

This conversation is part pep talk, part truth serum, and packed with insights that will shift how you think about success, relationships, and your own nervous system regulation. Listen, if you're ready to stop playing small and start advocating for yourself in every area of your life, this episode is for you.

Why Selfishness Is Actually Your Superpower

Here's what I love about Maria's approach: she's not afraid to use the word "selfish" as a positive thing. We talked about how, as women, we've been conditioned to pour from empty vessels constantly. You cannot show up effectively for your business, your relationships, or your family if you're not first taking care of yourself.

Maria put it perfectly: "If you're a parent or an entrepreneur or a partner, all those things. Yes, it is lovely to pour love and attention and time into other people. You cannot do that effectively or in a healthy way if you are not first selfish and pouring into yourself."

I see this with my clients all the time. They're trying to build successful businesses while running on fumes, wondering why they can't sustain momentum. The answer isn't working harder – it's being more intentional about what you need to function at your best.

The Communication vs. Talking Distinction That Changes Everything

One of the biggest takeaways from our conversation was Maria's insight about the difference between talking and actually communicating. She shared that most couples come to therapy thinking they communicate well, when really they just talk to each other.

Real communication means sharing your needs, your fears, your non-negotiables for nervous system regulation. It means being brave enough to say "this is what I need" instead of hoping your partner will figure it out.

As founders, this applies to every relationship in our lives – with clients, team members, family. Are you actually communicating your boundaries and needs, or are you just talking around them?

Your Nervous System Is Your Business Foundation

Maria and I dove deep into nervous system regulation, and here's what you need to understand: a regulated nervous system is the foundation of any sort of success. When I say regulated, I don't mean you have to be calm all the time. I mean you have to be aware when something activates you and know how to process it.

Movement is non-negotiable for this. Maria loves spin classes, and I do my CEO walks every single day – four miles minimum. The best moments in your life, especially if you're neurodivergent, happened when you were the most active. Your brain will not do what you need it to do if you're not also moving your body.

Most of the time when you think you're having anxiety, your body is just begging you to move it.

The Holistic Approach to Success

What I appreciate about Maria's practice is that it's truly holistic – meaning they treat the whole person, not just symptoms. She has a naturopathic doctor and registered dietitian on her team because she understands that mental health, physical health, and spiritual wellness are all interconnected.

This is exactly how I approach business coaching. I can't help you elevate your business and brand if your home is a mess, if you're not moving your body, if you're not addressing your relationship dynamics. Everything is connected.

Finding the Right Support Team

Whether you're looking for a therapist or a coach, Maria's advice is gold: focus less on the modality and more on the person. Find someone who understands how your brain works, especially as an entrepreneur.

I love that Maria gets calls from CEOs and business owners who specifically want to work with someone who runs their own business. They don't want to be told to "take a break" when that's not realistic for their current season.

The relationship between you and your support person is more important than their certifications. Look for someone who gets your world.

The Quantum Leap Mindset

We got a little woo-woo talking about manifestation, and here's my take: mindset is believing that what you want can happen. It's not about pretending you already have what you want – it's about embodying the energy of someone whose success is already in motion.

I tell my clients to think about how they'd behave if they had a $500,000 check depositing into their account but it was going to take five days to clear. You wouldn't be worried about anything. Nothing would get to you. You'd be enjoying yourself, knowing that good things are coming.

That's the energy we want to cultivate as we build our businesses and our lives.

Your Non-Negotiables Matter

Maria emphasizes the importance of identifying your non-negotiables for nervous system regulation. For her, it's exercise and alone time. Everything else in her calendar works around those priorities.

What are yours? Maybe it's movement, maybe it's creative time, maybe it's uninterrupted coffee in the morning. Whatever it is, stop treating it as optional. These aren't luxuries – they're requirements for you to show up as your best self.

Breaking Generational Patterns

One thing that really struck me about our conversation was how we're both committed to breaking generational trauma. Maria mentioned how beautiful it is to see women supporting other women, referring to each other instead of competing.

I'm raising my sons completely differently than I was raised. They can have big emotions in our house. They can cook at 10 PM on a Saturday without fear. They've learned that taking care of yourself isn't selfish – it's necessary.

The Bottom Line

Whether we're talking about relationships, business, or personal growth, it all comes back to the same thing: doing your individual work, knowing your needs, and being brave enough to advocate for them.

You can do anything, but you can't do everything. Stop trying to be superwoman. Start being selfish about what you need to thrive.

Ready to dive deeper into creating sustainable success without burning out? Join my newsletter at mindsetmelanie.com/newsletter for weekly insights on building a business and life that actually works for your beautifully complex brain.

Connect with Maria Orrego:

• Website: sexoffthepedestal.com

• Instagram & Threads: @sexoffthepedestal

• Maria's Linktree with books & the Playboy Advisor column